Thursday, September 1, 2011

You've Disappeared Somewhere

As I lay in bed the sleep crowds out the light prickng the corners of my mind. Iroll over, sigh, and find you waiting there in the room you live in inside my head. Its a small room, not too big for you, its place enough for you and me.

I watch you as you slip off your shoes and walk barefoot through the early morning light. Its like a gallery here, with pictures of moments between you and I hung on the walls for us to look at. Theres a soft, comfortable place for us to sit, and I wander over to you and settle in, my arm around you, and you smile at me.

It beautiful, brilliant, more radiant than the rising sun, and it takes my breath away. You sit and look at the pictures of us and I gaze at you, wondering what you see. Do you see the moment you first took my hand and we felt that perfect rush of warmth between us? Do you see the starlight in my eyes the way I see it in yours? You close your eyes, and I wonder what you hear as you incline your head slightly towards me, as though I am speaking to you through the quiet. Do you hear my voice, resonant, pleading, begging for another moment of quiet bliss with you? We don't have to speak, there's a pulse, a soft beating like my heart and yours when we sit together like this. There's a whisper, like my indrawn breath when you come close to me.

I could watch you all day, and I do. Even when I rise you live in that little room. You speak to me when I have nothing and no one. You remind me of tiny moments, hearbeats, seconds, where you and I were in perfect accord. I can see you move inside me, the stillness broken by the song of your body. You dance, you move, and I can see your bare feet tiptoeing through the soft places in my memory. I can listen to their glide as you move me, one moment, and the next, as I think of you.

There's poetry there, a beautiful, simple verse sometimes...other times an elaborate sonnet, written with all the passion we are capable of together. You recite it to me, and the rythm of my day changes and pulses with the words you give me, echoing lightly in my head. The verse and time are setting my breathing, they move my feet to a new, gentle beat that echoes the sound of my heart as I walk from one moment to the next without you.

You are there, though, never far from me. You linger, filling my thoughts in the moments you are away. I seek them, I let them wash over me in a rising flood of heat and need while I wait for you. you always come to me though, I can count on it, as I lay down again, searching for the warmth of your touch and your voice. I feel you there, your tender caress ready for my eager reception. Again, I say nothing. You've been here with me all day. Nothing needs said that you don't already know.

I've missed you. I've been waiting. I'm so glad you're here.


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