I'll Be Your Number One With a Bullet

So everyone who knows me knows that I'm a little bit vain. Okay, a lot bit vain. One of my favorite things to do, especially in the summer when its nice (or scorching hot) outside is to run around and take pictures. Usually of my and my sweeties and my friends.

I recently had the idea that it would be a lot of fun to do some pictures inspired by the "trash the dress" wedding photo trend and wear an evening gown, or some other fantastic outfit, and go get messy and take pictures in it in the more urban areas of my city. Or go take pictures in the really rural part of my city. Either way, I like the idea of juxtaposing something fantastic or whimsical or formal with something that is not inherently those things.

I asked Flyguy to help me out because he's a really talented photographer. Well, I've seen a lot of the stuff he does and I really love it. I like the way he looks at the world, and when I look at his photos I notice he sees things differently than I do. Its part of what makes me love him.

So last night we went out and did a trial run with my digital camera (well, he brought his camera too, but he was shooting black and white film, so I won't see the results of that for a while) and we traipsed around the downtown and had a good time. Well, I had a great time because not only was he satisfying my vanity by taking my picture, but I haven't gotten to see him lately, so having him for company was spectacular. We left at about six in the evening, and we got home about nine. I'll mention, the later hour was ostensibly to make sure it was cool enough outside. It was still over ninety the whole time.

Anyway, we got a lot of fun stuff on film. Also, he was a total hero for me. He didn't seem to notice at all the strange looks he was getting while we walked around. I don't blame people for staring, a guy in street clothes running around with a woman in a white evening gown in the middle of a warehouse district is rather odd.

So, I thought I would share a few of the pictures he took so you could see them (and me) and tell me what you think.

 This one is actually maybe a baseball's throw from my house. Its at an old train overpass, and I love the greenery that grows all over the old wooden beams. I was surprised when Flyguy chose this angle as opposed to showing more of the beam work. I suppose you can figure out that I let him make the decisions, now that I see what he was aiming for. I should never second guess him.

 I love this photo. I will say this, it was a bit of a hike up those rocks to the top, and I was dodging broken glass most of the time. Flyguy, though, was balancing halfway down the hill braced on a baby tree. So I shouldn't complain. The picture is pretty cool too.

I should also note the heels I wore I selected for comfort. I have blisters everywhere today. The day was rougher on them, though, I ended up breaking the straps off them before the night was out. Made for a long and interesting limp home, though.

Incidentally, Kitten bought those heels for me when we went on our honeymoon, three years ago. So they lasted a good long while, as far as heels go- especially when you consider how rough I am on my shoes.

 The rock idea was all Flyguys. I like it. He did express a wish my dress had more movement. I've made a mental note to buy a dress with a train next time.

Flyguy noted later when we were looking at the pictures that it would be a matter of nothing to cut the dress off and make it short. He's probably right, although before I do that, I think I want to cover the whole thing in mud.

My aunt Dancer was on facebook and saw these and was exclaiming over me trashing such a pretty dress. I imagine you might be thinking the same thing. No worries. I only paid $20 for it. So if I do eventually ruin it...well, it wasn't expensive. Even if it was- is the dress or the photos less beautiful because of the price? I think not.

 I love this photo like you wouldn't believe. For some reason, it really strikes me as a portrait more than a snapshot. If there were ever a photo taken of me that expressed how I feel sometimes, this would be it. I think its telling that my burgeoning sunburn is starting to show, and it seems appropriate somehow. 

 This is one of Flyguy's favorites. I am not sure why. Although, I will admit, I never would have thought that faded ass boring graffiti would stand out so much in the photo. I really like that it does. This is somewhere under one of the underpasses in my town. It gets me giggling, there's a huge no trespassing sign at the entrance to this tunnel. I'm pretty strait laced, so I made Flyguy promise that he's bail me out if we got arrested for trespassing. He reassured me that he's down there all the time and no one cares. Of course he is...

 This photo was such a relief to me, because by this time my feet hurt and the water was cold and it was ninety degrees. I was looking forward to this part anyway, because I wanted to see what the dress would do wet.

Also, that's my natural hair color in the sunlight. Anyone who tells me I don't have red in my hair from here on out will be referred to this picture.

 Flyguy's foot makes a cameo in this pic. We got some interesting looks doing these. I feel like Ophelia when I look at this picture.

There were some kids (well, teenagers) at this park and one of them said something to Flyguy. He told me later that he asked how his porn shoot was going. Flyguy said good. Then the kid asked why he didn't have me take off my clothes. Flyguy just gave him one of his enigmatic smiles. Its part of why I like him. I would have mouthed off.

I was rather amused by the girls in the park who kept giving me looks like I was in some sort of fairy tale. One asked me before I got wet if I was going to get into the water. When I told her yes, she grinned really big. I noticed she stuck around to watch me get into the waterfall. It was funny to me, especially how she was sighing, like she was seeing something special.

I like this photo because it looks really old fashioned. Also, my hair is drying out and is all sorts of messy and curly. I like that. Its how I normally look.

This field is behind a warehouse near my home, and I didn't even think about it as a spot for pictures. It looks like a bunch of overgrown weeds to me. Again, I defer to Flyguy's opinion of how to take photos from here on out.

Kitten really likes this picture too. She's says I look pretty in it.

So...there you have it. Another post completely dedicated to me being really, really vain. I did think it was interesting, because it rather gave me a chance to see how someone else looks at me, and looks at everything around me. I'll be interested to see how the black and whites come out, and I'll be interested to see what we do with future photo playtimes. We've got an outfit all lined up for Kitten for the next go around. I'll like to see some pictures of us together. Oscelot has to pick out an outfit too.

Be warned, you might see more of these in the future.

Have a good day everyone. Find something beautiful and love it.

AGxx

As You Shoot Across the Sky

Well hello. As you can see, I've been going through my old photo albums. I thought this might amuse you, because it certainly amuses me. I went and looked back at all the photos of me since I started blogging. I compiled here a little of what you might call a photo diary of how I've changed (at least in looks) since I started this little venture of mine, and since I met many of you.

This first picture is of me on the evening of my twenty third birthday. Well, I think its twenty three. I might be wrong about that, so don't quote me. I always loved that shirt, in fact I bought a bright blue, more updated version of this shirt a few years ago, though I wore it so rarely I finally threw it out this last spring. Also, I'd like to mention I definately don't wear jeans with that high a waist anymore. In fact, I rarely wear jeans. Anyway, this is me when I first started blogging, when I first met Perpet, back when Beloved and I were living together. I had a lot of ideas then, and I think most of them were probably a little off the mark, but that's the beauty of youth, isn't it? You're allowed to be wrong once and a while.

This next picture is of me (singing karaoke, mind you which is why I look possessed) just after I started dating BBD, sometime after I split up with Beloved and sometime before he and I got engaged. I've got a bit of a harder look about me, I think, and I was. I was rough around the edges. I took the split up wiith Beloved, well, not as well as I could have seeing as how I drank all the time, went out every night, and managed to not only start dating but end up getting engaged to someone it turned out I despised. This was definately a time when I was cutting off my nose to spite my face.

This was right before I started the whole Rogue fiasco, and after I left school. Again. This was the time I met some very cool people, and then again, I met some realy jerks too. I met little black book during this time. Shortly after this picture was taken I did get engaged, and it wasn't too much before or after (I honestly don't remember when) I began working at Casa Bueno.



Skip ahead a year or so and this is me again. This picture was taken about a month or two before BBD and I split up. You can see I'm a little more alert in the eyes. My face is pretty pink, in fact, I was probably well into drink the time this photo was taken. But this was a time when I started wanting a little more for myself and a little more from life.

Enter Kitten.

This is me after Kitten and I startd dating. You can see, I am actually able to smile a real smile. You can't see it, but my bestie Perpet took this picture, and that's another reason to smile, outside of finding real love. She and I had been on the outs a bit, ever since she sat me down and told me that I was being an idiot, I drank too much and BBD was ruining my life. I was mad, but she was right. I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong.

Also, if you look in the background, the red hair and ugly blue vest belong to our old roommate, Guitar Hero. This was taken about a year before she moved in, before we figured out she was bat shit crazy.

This is me on the lake at Epcot in Disney world. Obviously, I'm on my honeymoon. Incidentally, this is the photo I was looking at the other day when I was thinking about how long my hair has gotten. Its much curlier than it is now, because the longer my hair is the wavier it is, and the more like a rats nest it looks like. I spend a lot of time straitening my hair nowdays. Obviously, I am much happier in this picture than the others, I'm relaxed, and you can see my skin actually has a healthy tint to it.

This is me this last spring. It was taken at our local zoo. Because I have it in my hands behind my head, you can't see how long it is. I don't have an accurate photo of myself right now, because I haven't uploaded my vacation photos, and even then, we took pictures of big cats and not ourselves. Its almost an inch past my elbows now. Its also one of the few pictures I've taken of myself (well, someone else has taken, in this case, I think, it was the Lifeguard) where my hair is its natural color. Yes, those are natural highlights. No, I don't still have them. I mess with my hair all the time.

If you want to actually analyze this one, you can see that I've got a healthy skin tone. Overall, since that first picture, I've slimmed down. Rather, I should say, I toned up a bit, and put my flesh where it ought to be. I've only been really big once (andno, you can't see those photos) and I intend to keep it that way. I think you can also see my personality is developing, and I think I look more like a woman in this photo than any of the others.

I'd say its likely that's because its only been in the last four years I've come into my womanhood. I understand things now that were utterly beyond me a decade ago, and honestly, its nothing to do with books either, though I've acquired plenty of those in the process too.

I could wax poetic all night about the things I've learned and all the ways I've changed, but you know, I think you're more than able, if you want, to go back and read all of those posts and see it. Of course, those of you who have been with me all this time, you know how I've changed anyway. You've rather watched me come into myself, haven't you? Then again, I've got no illusions that I still have a lot of growing to do, although I think most of the personailty is pretty well set in stone. I hope so at least. I feel a lot more stable.

There is one thing, though, I will mention, and that's because I was speaking with Flyguy on the topic earlier today. Most of you have heard me say this, although you've never seen it. I have a spectacular temper. In that first picture, when I was angry or upset, I'd run away from a situation. I know now that just puts off the inevitable. By the time you hit the third picture, I'm well aware of how angry I can get, in fact, I spent a lot of my time when I was with BBD yelling. That did me no good at all. The fireworks were seen a lot more frequently, and they were pretty wild when they were out.

Kitten and I don't fight often, I don't say this to brag. I know every relationship has issues. Fortunately, I've learned that I have to discuss things calmly and like an adult. I know now how I feel when I'm working up to a good fit of rage, and for the most part, I can stop it in its tracks now. In the last year I've leanred to reflect why I'm angry. I have learned to take a deep breath and remember thatm ost of the time I can't fix the problem, and getting mad only makes things worse for me. I've learned when to say "Okay, I need to step away (not run away) and take five minutes to breathe and think about how I really feel, and then we can talk. " I've also learned that with almost all people, anger is less a sign of being truly angry, and is more often a sign of something else, like frustration, fear, hurt or sadness. I leanred this because I usually get mad when I am sad, frustrated, disappointed or afraid of soemthing.

Anyway. Enough about my big changes. I'm going to post this sucker, let you guys laugh at how I look, and then think of something to post that doesn't involve me being so abominably vain that I have to post pictures of myself so you can look at them.

Oh- I changed my profily picture because I thought you might like to see me in something that isn't a bikini, and also because its jauary and a bikini is simply not sensible. That picture was taken last summer while I was running in the warehouse district near my house. That was about the time I decided to toss the bangs. I'm so glad I did.

Right. Off to something more entertaining and less, visual.

AGxx

Postscript. Sorry about the Katy Perry Lyric. It was the only one that came to mind that didn't involve Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock or that terrible Photograph song. I'll do better next time.