Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm More Than Some Pretty Face Beside a Train

Okay, so I've had a little time to think about this whole Ben Affleck being Batman thing. I'm sure you've heard by now...the whole internet exploded when it was announced...seriously, it really interrupted my fangirl on Tumblr time, and I don't have a lot of that right now...

Anyway, I think everyone's being a little harsh. Has he made some bad films? Sure. Is he who I would have pictured? Not at all...but I thought the same thing about Toby Maguire being Spiderman and look how that turned out. I think there's some things that people forget- like how actors have no control over how a movie is produced if they aren't one of the producers. Or how Affleck has made decent movies. And how he's directed some good ones too- that bodes well for the script. And don't point out Gigli to me. That was all JLo and you know it. You throw the first stone on that one if you've never done something seriously stupid because of the very hot person you were dating. Yeah. Mostly, I think everyone forgets that people make mistakes. Even actors choosing movies.

Look at Meryl Streep- she's amazing, right? But she's got The Ant Bully, Mamma Mia, The River Wild and A.I. on her acting credits. Its almost enough to make you forget how great she can be.

Or how about Johnny Depp? Did you see The Lone Ranger? Or how about Alice in Wonderland (which he's filming the sequel to) or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, or The Secret Window. All horrible movies. And just think, if he hadn't made so many great films before and these were all you'd ever seen, there would be no Captain Jack Sparrow, no Corpse Bride or Sweeney Todd.

Yeah, Yeah, I hear you saying. But those two weren't given iconic superhero roles. They aren't risking ruining years of great actors and cannon....they aren't destroying a franchise. First- the Batman franchise is rife with horrible Batmans- hell its rife with horrible casting decisions. Its the truth and you know it. Come on, Val Kilmer? He's pretty, but he was an awful caped crusader. Uma Thurman, Alicia Silverstone, and Arnold Schwarzenegger should come to mind for you too. Terrible. And look at the actresses who have mangled Cat Woman...Michelle Pfeiffer, Halle Berry and Anne Hathaway. All amazing actresses. All shitty Cat Women. Honestly, I don't think anyone will ever do it as well as Julie Newmar did in the sixties...but that's just me. Point is, sometimes it takes more than being a great actor to portray a great part. Otherwise I wouldn't weep every time I think of George Clooney and his batnipples. You think he picked those out? Yeah, neither do I. Hell, if acting ability was the only criterion for getting an iconic part we'd have never seen Terry Hatcher as Lois Lane..... For that matter we'd have never seen Jim Carry as the Riddler or Danny Devito as The Penguin (and both were great) if their crimes against film had been the criterion by which they were given their roles.

And for the record, I would like to offer you the following in defense of great actors who played iconic superhero/supervillain roles but have shady pasts. Imagine if we had judged the following based on their bad movies alone:

Before American Beauty we loved Kevin Spacey for Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and The Usual Suspects. But let's face it, if we judged him based on A Bug's Life and L.A. Confidential, we'd have never seen him as Lex Luthor.

Outside of To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar has Wesley Snipes made a decent film? Outside of the Blade movies, for which , of course, he would not have been cast....

Remember Alfred Molina's riveting performance as Doc Oc in Spiderman? We'd have never seen it if the internet had been the judge, because all he had done prior was crappy television shows and Chocolat (another Johnny Depp crime, I might add).

And believe me when I say The Avengers cast wouldn't exist. Tom Hiddleston was a relatively unknown television actor, much like Molina. Look at him now....Can you think of anyone else being Loki? There would be no Iron Man because (face the music kids) RDJ didn't make anything decent post Chaplin (1992) until around 2005. He did, however, make an appearance in that god awful Halle Berry film Gothicka and he contributed to the further degeneration of an entire generation of yuppies by doing a 25 episode stint on Ally McBeal. But we worship him as Iron Man (and Sherlock Holmes). Lucky the internet wasn't there for those casting decisions. If you thought Mark Ruffalo was a way better Hulk than Edward Norton congratulations. Remember, though, Norton is a spectacular actor who had tons of great films to his name before he bombed as Hulk. Ruffalo had Just Like Heaven and 13 Going on 30 to his name....Chris Evans can't be Captain America anymore because Fantastic Four was a crime against humanity, I'm pretty sure there's a UN council still debating whether or not that movie violates the Geneva Conventions....Oh, and no Black Widow, because Scarlett Johansson still needs to be punished for The Other Boleyn Girl and The Nanny Diaries.

I think I made my point.

You know, I don't even really care for Affleck as an actor. He's okay, but I don't think he's done anything groundbreaking. What I do know is that he deserves a chance before we say how much he sucks. A year or two from now, maybe I'll be eating my words...but if I am, I'll let you tell me that you told me so. Honestly, I'm sick of the people on the internet, and fan bases and other groups of, oh say, non-film people, thinking they know better than Hollywood on how to entertain us. I think it contributes to all the bad films we see, and bad television too- there's too much pandering to what they think people want. The loud and vocal majority of morons are ruining entertainment for the rest of us.

Let it go. Its just a movie.

If you hate him that much, don't go see it.

My two cents.


  1. We'll do you remember the fuss when Heath Ledger was cast as the Joker? A lot of fans just couldn't see how that could work at all. I mean, he'd played a gay cowboy. Imagine! Haven't you read the comics? That worked out okay. Affleck will be a good Bruce Wayne, I think. He loves comics and Daredevil isn't THAT bad. Some people - comic book fans and sci fi fans spring to mind - just want to be offended.

  2. Clooney was the best Batman given the worst film.

  3. Now that I'm done chuckling, I'll say that while I might or might now agree with your opinions of various movies and actors, I say "Hear hear!" to the sentiments! :0)