Thursday, March 15, 2012

When You're Outside Looking In

So I've been a very busy girl the last two days, and that's a good thing. I could bore youwith stories about how I've got new roses in my garden or how I had a great talk with Kitten's mom last night....but I was going through my old blog today looking for something and I came across this old meme. I was thinking about meme's anyway because I was on the I Have Ordinary Addictions Blog and there was one on there. Since some of my answers have changed, and I don't have any of yours, I thought it might be fun.

I'm posting mine here...you post yours in the comments. That will be fun, right?

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I don't think there is such a thing. But I think you can get close. To do that, I think you have to love yourself. You have to know where you're going and be content with that. You have to be able to both give and accept love freely. I think that's as happy as any person can be, and I don't think perfection has anything to do with being happy.

2. What is your greatest fear?

Honestly? Losing Kitten. She's everything to me. She really is. Outside of that fear, I think this hasn't changed for me. I'm terrified of losing soemone I love without being able to tell them that.

3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself?

My vanity. Especially because I am a relatively self-concious person. I think being both of those things makes me insufferable sometimes. I also think it makes me much harder on myself than I ought to be.

4. What historical figure do you most identify with?

Truly, I have no idea. There's a lot of historical figures I love and admire, but I don't know there's one where I feel like my life mirrors thiers.

5. What is your greatest extravagance?

I have two- eating out (because I'm lazy about cooking sometimes) and underwear. I refuse to wear anything that isn't costly and comfortable.

6. What is your favorite journey?

I think my trip to Florida and back with Kitten has to rank up there for actual traveling. It was one of the most special times in my life. As far as personal journeys go, I think my journey this last year to overcome my anger issues has been the best for me. I've discovered a lot about myself and I think its made me a lot happier about my life.

7. What do you like most about your appearance?

Well, I'm the most vain about my hair, but probably my tattoos. They're the part of me I've chosen for myself, rather than been born with.

8. What living person do you most despise?

There's some people out there I seriously don't like. I'm not a fan of Kitten's ex. I am obviously not a fan of BBD, but I think I'm big enough to not hate them. I think I rather despise, in general, any person who is selfish enough to think they know better than anyone else how to run the world. That sort of hubris always rankles with me.

9. What is your greatest regret?

I don't have one. Truly. I would never go back and change a part of my life, because I feel like it makes me who I am. I love who I am now, and I couldn't be that if I removed any choice I've made in the past. I've made some seriously bad decisions, but fortunately, I'm able to live with all of them.

10. When or where are you most happy?

When I'm with the people I love.

11. Wha is your current state of mind?

At this exact second I'm feeling content and reflective. Recently, I've felt a little overwhelmed emotionally, a little frustrated, and more than a little frightened. I'm dealing with it. Thank god and goddess I have good friends and two wonderful partners to get me through it.

12. If you could change one thing about yourself what would you change?

I wouldn't have migraines. Hands down. My life would be much better.

13. What is your greatest acheivement?

Sobering up. Finding that I had the strength to respect myself enough to want to be sober is a feat that changed my life and who I am for the better, and permanantly.

14. What is your most treasured possession?

I have three: my wedding ring, a scarf that belonged to my grandfather, a quilt that my great grandmother made for me the year she died.

15. What do you regard as the lowest deapths of misery?

Being unable to help someone you love. Helplessness is the worst feeling in the world. Especially for me, because I'm a control freak.

16. Where would you like to live?

Portland, Oregon. But you knew that, right?

17. What is your most marked characteristic?

Physically? Probably my fangs. Personality wise? I'm pushy. And I have no filter whatsoever. I'm really, really blunt.

18. What quality do you like most in a man?

Compassion

19. What quality do you like most in a woman?

Honesty.

20. Who are your favorite writers?

That's a revolving door. Check my profile for my perrenial favorites. Currently I'm really digging Erin Hunter.

21. Who is your real life hero?

My grandfather.

22. What is your personal motto?

You receive what you give to others. Harm no one. Live life fully, love others completely, approach life with laughter.


Alright. Did you learn anything? Now its your turn. Go. I've got annonymous comments on for a reason, my lurking lovelies.

AGxx

2 comments:

  1. OK, I'll play... but I'm afraid that you'll probably find my answers a little on the dull side

    1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

    I object to the question. I don't believe in absolutes and perfect happiness therefore cannot exist. Just as lots of small things can make you unhappy, so can lots of little things make you happy. Just from today: waking up to be greeted by a chirp from a purring cat; a bit of a lie in; a good swim at the pool; seven hours of rugby with a cat on my lap and a fire in the hearth; fish and chips for tea..... Perfect happiness, if it existed, would be made up of lots of little happinesses like that.

    2. What is your greatest fear?

    Losing my marbles. My brain is my greatest asset (and probably my greatest enemy) and losing that would seem insurmountable. It's what makes me.

    3. What trait do you most deplore in yourself?

    See 2 above. Intellectual vanity.

    4. What historical figure do you most identify with?

    Nobody really. I'm a huge fan of history and it's my degree subject, but the biggest thing you can learn is that even the most heroic person is flawed. We all are.

    5. What is your greatest extravagance?

    What do I spend the most money on? Travel, probably, although I spend a lot more money on basic things than I used to: I still wear jeans and shoes and t-shirts and stuff, but they're nicer ones now than they used to be.

    6. What is your favorite journey?

    Hmm. It has to be the overland trip we did in a truck from Cape Town to Victoria Falls. It took 3 weeks and we slept in tents and cooked on campfires with 20 other people - strangers, to start with - it was fantastic fun. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

    7. What do you like most about your appearance?

    Good lord. I have a big nose. I'm balding. Even though I'm skinny and and can count my ribs, I still only see the bits that wobble. What do I like? Well, I suppose I've been surprisingly taken by my beard... but in general I would say that I've got a friendly face. When I'm not scowling, anyway.

    8. What living person do you most despise?

    Nobody. I do a lot of ranting about all kinds of things, but most of the nonsense I find easier to laugh at. Being irritated by people and their stupidity and thoughtlessness is still a million miles away from despising them.

    9. What is your greatest regret?

    Je ne regrette rien.

    10. When or where are you most happy?

    I'm an introvert, so probably when I'm at home with my girl and with my cat. Or just by myself. L'enfer c'est les autres.

    (to be continued)

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  2. 11. What is your current state of mind?

    After a whole day watching the rugby, culminating with a thumping win for my team? Not too shabby. I'm restless though, and I find it hard to sit still for long as my brain jumps onto the next thing.

    12. If you could change one thing about yourself what would you change?

    I lack guile and I find it hard to lie. I think of these things as strengths, but an inability to keep my mouth shut and a smartarse tendency to want to have the last word and never to let things go past has not proven to be an attractive trait in either my work or my professional life.

    13. What is your greatest acheivement?

    For reasons best known to her, since 1999, I have a beautiful, clever, high achieving woman prepared to have me as her partner/husband. Baffles me every day.

    14. What is your most treasured possession?

    I have lots of things I like, but really treasure? Nothing. I'd be quite upset if I lost my laptop containing all my photos and ripped music, but it wouldn't really be the end of the world.

    15. What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?

    I'm not sure what this means. I think it's remarkable that there is so much wealth and privilege in the world and also so much poverty. Why we spend so much money on wars when it would cost so little to spend it on healthcare for everyone is one of the tragedies of human existence. It's not really the answer you're looking for, and as I work for a large company in a first world country, I'm not exactly doing much about it, but there you go....

    16. Where would you like to live?

    Well, I wouldn't say that living in Nottingham was my dream. In the UK, probably Oxford. In the whole world? Well, I've loved lots of places I've visited: New Zealand, Australia, Namibia... Vancouver would be pretty cool, I guess. As long as the people I love were nearby.

    17. What is your most marked characteristic?

    Physically: my height. Tall, skinny, broad-shouldered. Beyond the obvious, I would probably -- and conceitedly - say my brain.

    18. What quality do you like most in a man?

    Intelligence, as long as it's paired with humanity, humility and wit.

    19. What quality do you like most in a woman?

    ditto. On a purely physical level, I generally find something attractive about every woman... and I swear that's true.

    20. Who are your favorite writers?

    Paul Auster; John Irving (although less so recently); Charles Dickens; Alexandre Dumas and my new discovery, Ernest Hemmingway.

    21. Who is your real life hero?

    Don't have a hero, although I'm frequently humbled by extraordinary people in the every day: primary school teachers, the guy in our office with severe cerebral palsy, my friend with terminal cancer.... these people are amazing and inspiring.

    22. What is your personal motto?

    At work, and I suppose in life, it's "We are where we are". There's absolutely no point in looking backwards. Ironic that, given that I'm a historian by training!

    There we go. How was that?

    ST

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