Today is my Monday and I'm starting off a new work week for me. I usually wake up Thursdays and groan a little bit, because I'm so tired, but honestly I woke up today and I was ready to meet it. Yesterday was Lammas (also called Lughnasadh) and it was a nice night for me.
Rather than doing a formal ritual our group did some relaxing celebrating. We added to our wreath that we made at Beltane and filled it full of the blessings we've reaped so far this year. Lammas is our first harvest holiday, so its a good time to give thanks for the things in your life. Its a time to reflect and think of the coming months. Its a wonderful holiday. We had a picnic in my house (its back to hundred degree weather) and we drank special tea made with sacred herbs to the holiday that Kitten made. Because Lammas is also a holiday that encourages games of skill and sport, we played a game together. We're not a particularly athletic group, and honestly, going out in the heat to have three legged races and such sounded moronic. But it was a good time, we enjoyed ourselves a lot.
I think that's part of the reason I'm so happy, despite the early hour of my rising, and it being the beginning of the week for me. I was thinking, as I fell asleep last night, it takes a lot of work to keep the heart young, to let the soul age and to let your spirit be ageless. I think I am learning how that is done.
One thing I feel I must mention, Sakura has been such a blessing to me. I was talking about it last night. Of all the things I have reaped in the last year, having him as a spiritual companion has been one of the best parts of my life. I am very lucky to have him beside me, listening to me when I need an ear, offering advice when I am unsure how to act, and loving me in spite of the many mistakes I make. Its good to know I have him there when things get a little hot, because he knows how to handle the fire in my personality.
This next week seems like it is going to be just as busy as the last one. Spice's birthday is coming up, and we were noticing that its been a while since we took the time to get together with our friends just to hang out and have a good time. The last time we did it was February, when we had Thanksgiving in February. So this week we are having Half Christmas (or Half Christmahannukwanzule) at our house. Everyone is taking time to cook some dishes, chip in for a giant ham, and I am going to break out the long table so we can have a big dinner together. We're all picking up inexpensive (naughty) gifts to have a present swap, and we're planning on passing a few surprises out for Spice, since its her birthday celebration too. I'm really looking forward to it.
I did a spell for a friend last week, with the help of Sakura, and I am anxious to see how it turned out. The effects should have been almost immediate, so this weekend I'll hopefully hear that my proficiency in one of my chosen specialties has moved into adeptness. Speaking of spells, its time for me to reward my home, and that's going to require a lot of planning and patience, and some quick action. I want to get it done as soon as possible. I have every faith in my abilities, but that doesn't mean I like to leave things hanging.
On top of all that crazy, I am going to start planning the ritual for my favorite holiday, Mabon, with Kitten. This month will be the month that we finally initiate Felix into the Outer Court. I've got to start planning for Kitten going back to school, and I am ready to see all the changes that we've been planning on starting to manifest.
Emotionally, I think I'm in a pretty good place right now. I realized when we were at the fair on Tuesday that I've changed more than I thought I had. I am a very happy person. I used to say it was hard to make me laugh, but laughter is something that comes quickly and easily for me now. Its not hard to make me smile, and its a lot more difficult to catch me in a foul mood. I feel like I am learning to accept the love of the people around me, and while I have always considered myself a fairly loving person, it is much easier to give it now than it was for me a year or two ago.
I think its telling, too, that I was looking for discernment when I worked my last transformation rite, and when I asked for it, I don't think I was really thinking about the consequences of that request. I'm not sorry I did it, but the last few months have been very interesting for me. I've struggled with personal issues that I needed to deal with, which I brought to the forefront of my life by doing that work. I think I was ready for it, and now, two months into that work, I feel like I am learning to make headway at last. Its not easy, the things that have been placed in my path are not always sweet, or good, but I'm getting there. Learning to let my Type A perfectionism take a back seat to my own happiness on occasion has been tough. Seeing the lessons that have been put clearly in front of me has been hard. But there is a sweet joy in the learning now. What would have caused me pain and stress even three or four months ago I am able to take in stride now.
I feel like I am finally walking upright.
This post may wander a bit, but I suppose the idea for me was to speak to the fullness of my life. I am very full. I couldn't ask for more than that. Fullness sometimes means craziness and stress and intensity, but by comparison, I'll take that over the howling wilderness that was my life four years ago any day.
Bright Blessings my friends.