Monday, May 30, 2011

The Story of Hot Doctor

Alright. So after that last post, something more lighthearted and interesting?

I was thinking of telling you about Hot Doctor.

Hot Doctor is a customer of mine. She comes in two, sometimes three times a week to Casa Beuno. I've been waiting on her for most of the four years I have worked there. As a general rule she comes in on Sunday. She is almost always put in my section, unless for some strange reason my section is full or I am off the floor when she comes.

There's a lot of talk about Hot Doctor in my house. At work, too, strangely. And the name "Hot Doctor" actually isn't one of those clever monikers I've come up with for the purposes of my blog. We actually call her that. Not just me, but the whole staff.

Hot Doctor isn't actually particularly hot. She an attractive, but not supermodel or anything, late forties early fifties woman with shoulder length brown hair and big blue eyes. Through the four years I've gotten to know her I've discovered she is both a runner and a cyclist. She is in good shape. She eats pretty healthy. She usually gets two tacos. If she is indulging I've seen her get two enchiladas instead. Suffice to say, she is a cute lady for her age. But somehow, I got to calling her Hot Doctor when I refered to her. The staff picked it up. It stuck.

The funny thing is, I didn't know Hot Doctor's name until about six months ago or so. I'd been waiting on her for years. She may have told me her name at first. But see, we don't repeat them. But she knew my name. She knows Kitten's name. She knows all about our lives. I know what she does for hobbies, what she reads, where she goes on vacation. But I didn't know her name. And she always paid in cash.

Let me tell you, when I finally broke down and told her I didn't know her name, and asked her for it, I was dying of embarassment. After four years, you'd think I would know. Or have gotten one of our staff members to cleverly get her name out of her. Instead, I broke down and told her. She laughed. And totally sympathised. She is a doctor after all. When she sees her patients in public she doesn't have a chart. It made me feel better. After that we got along just fine. We actually talk more. i'll frequently end up sitting at her table if we're slow and talk to her during her meal. (Yes, I asked, no she doesn't mind)

There's a debate raging over Hot Doctor in our house. See, Hot Doctor is single. She's never been married. (I discovered this because her last name is the same as her parent's last name. She brought them in for dinner a few months ago. Dad paid. I checked the credit card) I've seen her in the store with her parents. I've seen her in the store with a group of ladies. There is one in particular that she comes to lunch with frequently. We actually know her name too. We'll call her Katie. Hot Doctor has never been in the store with a man who isn't her father.

See, we want to know if Hot Doctor is a spinster, or if she is gay. Of course we do. There's evidence either way.

In the Pro side:

-We've never seen her with a guy.
-She's never been married.
-When she went on vacation this last year she went to Africa, and she went with her family, a married couple she is friends with, and Katie.
- She wears almost exclusively khaki pants and "Life is Good" gear
- She wears crocs
-She's incredibly active and sporty
-She makes my gaydar go off (and mine is pretty good)
- Katie stopped coming to lunch for a while and hot Doctor started bringing in a lady we called "New Katie" because she looked like Katie, but wasn't Katie.
- Katie came back about two months ago, and Oscelot and I walked up on her apologizing to Katie for something. It involved her admittingshe was wrong and had been incredibly stupid. It sounded an awful lot like a sorry I dumped you take me back speech to me.
- We haven't seen New Katie since then.
- After I pried her name out of her, Hot Doctor asked how I always knew the bring her diet with a lemon when she got sat, if I hadn't seen her. I explained the staff lets me know she was there. She asked how. I told her they told me that "My doctor was here to see me." She blushed and said that there were worse things. I almost think she was flirting.
- Every time I come up on her and Katie, if they are bent over the table talking about something they jump backand look guilty. (of course, they may be plotting my demise. Who knows.)

- Not everyone that is older and single is gay. They might just like being single.
- She is reeeeally conservative. Like, she thinks NPR is part of the liberal media and Fox News is a reliable information source.
- She is an avid churchgoer
-She may just have bad taste in clothes.

Anyway. That's the story on Hot Doctor. I've tried, since I discovered her name, to get the staff to call her by it. Alas, they still come up to me when she's in and say "Hot Doctor is at table whatever. Katie is coming to meet her." It cracks me up, but I dread the day that someone calls her that to her face.

I know its nothing important. It certainly doesn't change the world. Its pretty mundane. But soemtimes, mundane can be nice. Especially if you're down.



  1. devious plans shall be devised to test this hot doctor theory. and im going to do it shane style. be scared.

  2. Shane style huh? Well, since I have no idea who this is....Shane my former coworker who just moved to Florida? Shane my favorite drag king? Or are we talking Shane who helped Dana with the soup chef? Either way, fun stuff.

    You know, anon, you could leave your initials behind, so I have something else to call you ;)

  3. hmmm, i was referencing the dana and shane incident of course :) ~lg

  4. I knew it! Its about time you came out of the woodwork. :) So's you know, it doesn't count if the nails are short because of tehir profession. And you're too young to flirt with her, heck, I am too young. I'll be interested to see what you come up with. Give me a plan.