Even after all this time, there are echoes of you in my mind.
As i was laying in bed last night, I thought of you. I remembered the night I finally called you out, and I didn't think you would do it. I remember the sound of the bar around me, and the taste of the beer in mymouth when I got your message. I remember laughing to myself as I sent you one back, telling you how lucky you were not to be with me. Three beers in, I was feeling brave enough to make a move.
Why is that bad? Why would that make you lucky? I remember you asking me.
Because you've never wanted me. I remember my answer so clearly. And then you.
I never said that.
I reeled. Then I called you out.
My phone rang almost immediately. You didn't even need to ask where I was. All you said was "I'll be there in five minutes. You better be waiting for me outside."
I tabbed out. I knew you were just coming to take me home. You didn't want me driving. You didn't want me to ride home with my friends. You were being good to me, playing me with my affection for you.
But when I jumped in your car, you took my hand. I remember the circles you traced on my wrist as you drove. How you shushed me when I tried to talk, walking your fingers up and down my arm before twining them with mine. You rolled down the windows and the cool spring air moved through my hair and yours. I watched your face- mute, unreadable as always. You gave away nothing. I could have not been there, except you were holding my hand and driving me home.
When we pulled in my drive I remember the look on your face as you turned to look at me. I'll never forget it because I only saw it once. In all the time I've known you, I only saw it the one time. Need.
"Do you still feel brave?"
"Then kiss me."
I leaned in, expecting you to laugh at me, but you didn't. When your mouth slid over mine and your arms went around my wasit I know that time stopped. I know it did, because that kiss went on forever. You never stopped, never paused. You kissed me and you kissed me and I couldn't breathe from the sense of relief and longing and you didn't seem to feel it because you were lost in your own. You kissed me until my lips were sore, until I couldn't take another moment.
You took my hand, kissed it, and went around to get the door for me. You walked me all the way to my front door. Then you kissed each of my eyelids, and you told me goodnight.
I don't know why I thought of it last night. There was nothing to remind me of it. But, as I fell asleep, you were there and I wondered where you had come from after all this time.
We were so many things together. But together was forever ago.
Where did you come from last night?
Why was it you?
I don't miss you...but I think I might miss that kiss.