There has to be more.
Tonight I want more. Tonight, as I stare out the window at the clouds rolling across the moon, I pray that there is more. A terrible empty feeling is welling up inside me. I cannot escape it- just as I cannot escape you.
I can feel you more than I can see you. I know you are there, standing over me, just beside my bed. I can sense the power rolling off your body in waves, drowning me, pulling me further down. The strength of you body does not have to be seen tonight. I can sense it as I watch the clouds, the stars and the moon. I can feel it as I lay here and wish for more.
Tonight I want you to tear me apart.
It seems to me there is more in that than there is in anything. I want to feel more than I do now. I want to feel more than the hollow, echoing ring of my own pain. There is a waterfall inside me and I have run it dry for too long. I have let the tears fall, let them slip down inside me and fill me up and then waste away for as long as I can think of. I want to feel something else.
Come and kiss me. I can feel you, kneeling on the bed over me. It has a weight to it that I never remember feeling before. Slip your mouth over mine and stifle the cries that threaten to rip up out of me and break the silence of the night.
Just like that. See? That's perfect. The hard, almost cold pressure of your mouth is overwhelming me. Calming me. Bringing me an odd sense of peace as I drift away into you. The feeling of your body on mine is comforting. I let go. I can feel myself now in you. I can taste the rise of the heat between us. I can feel the pressure of all the things we will never say. It threatens me, and I love it.
Your nails raking down my back are ecstasy. My skin, tearing beneath your onslaught, is better this way than ever it was whole. I feel myself in a completely new way as you lift me, turn me, make me yours. The taste of cotton on my tongue is sweet. The sheen of sweat you bring to the surface better than any dampness my body finds in its long, lonely wanderings.
Press me, push me, take me further than I have ever been. I can see you are wanting to lead me down a path of pain and pleasure. You see that I walk it willingly with you. My hands belong to you. You make them your own as you use them. My mouth is yours completely. I scarcely recall breathing as you fill me over and over. I remember no taste but that of you and me, of my pleasure on your fingers, of your passion on my tongue. Give me your mouth. Share it with me over and over. Your teeth are gleaming ivory knives. I want to feel the tiny cut, the sweet peicings as you consume me. Send me up in flames for you. Let me show you all that I can be when you make me.
Tonight your violence is something I crave. It is beautiful, terrible and perfect at once. The terror and emptiness that was sweeping like a wind through me is gone. You have come to shake me free of it. I can match you tonight. I can fight you with all there is in me. I find there is more, there was more, than I expected. I find with you at the bottom of the well inside me a fire burns and you have stoked the flames. They lick up inside, burning me in my stomach and my throat. My fingertips become matches and I can touch the tinderbox of your love.
There is nothing gentle about you. There is nothing tender and sweet. I am so thankful. I am so happy. The power of your body propels me on. The force of you is more than I can bear, and I want to fight it. I want you to feel me too. I want you to know that though I am conquered I am not servile. Though I am below you I am not submissive. I can see the light in your eyes and I know that I am the one that set them ablaze.
The closeness of your hands on my wrists, your mouth hard at my neck, your legs trapping me- all of these things make me want to fight you, to make you work harder to take me. They make me want to push you to the edge. Tonight, you will want me more than you have before. I will press you, pull you, drive you to the edge of reason. You will feel it with me- the echo, the longing, the sense of despair as I pull you deeper into me. When I weep it will be your mouth that drinks my tears. It will be the sweetness of your kiss that wipes away all that I have felt, leaving me with a sense of peace and contenment.
You will drown in who I am tonight, and we will both wake more alive.
Take me tonight. Tear me up. Let me have you too.