Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Don't You Think Every Kitten Figures Out How To Get Down, Whether Or Not You Ever Show Up?

Hi friends. Today is day three of me being a housewife and I think its finally becoming real for me.

Over the past two days I have thrown myself into being at home. I've cleaned so much I am not sure there's too much left to clean (except the kitchen and the laundry room...) and I love it. Monday I got up and shampooed my carpets, I cleaned the baseboards and curtains in my living room. I dusted and vacuumed like a madwoman. I did the same to my bedroom and bathroom yesterday. Yeah, the house is lovely right now.

Today I went to breakfast with my mom. I have a lunch date with Kitten's Mom soon. I've got all kinds of activities planned. I feel good. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to settle in. I was worried I would be unhappy, but truthfully, I feel better than I have in a long time. I love being at home, planning meals and cleaning up. I like having projects to work on. Next weekend I am going to repaint my living room and cover my couch and armchair so they look lighter and more delicate.  I've got big plans for my writing, and things are clipping along well. I'm making plans for November, which is National Novel Writing Month. Its going to be a good time.

Last night I went to dinner at Sakura's house and ate with his family. I had such a nice time. Sakura's mom is going to go with me sometime in the next couple of weeks and hit the newly remodeled Fabric Store of Doom so we can pick out curtains, literally. We're both going to be making some soon. I think she might show me how to use my sewing machine, which would be a lifesaver.

I had my first post-work, work related dream on Monday night. I dreamed I was stuck at work and it was my last day. The clock was stuck at 12:30 and the lunch rush went on for hours. I couldn't get away. Worse, every person I've ever worked with that made me feel inadequate was part of the crew. A few of my exes and former friends made appearances too, all of them telling me I am lazy, invaluable and in general a terrible human being.

Honestly, I was expecting to have dreams about work. I was. But I didn't really recognize until now the issues I had tied up in my workplace. I hadn't realized how truly unhappy and stressed I was until now. Now I am feeling much better about my life, and I'm in no hurry to rush into employment again. Even Kitten's mom told me to wait and to make sure I was ready, and even when I was ready to not go back to work unless it was something that would give me joy.

Its dawning on me now what a huge step I took and how much better off I am. I'm truly happy.

That's all I really had to say.


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