Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Wy Down in Missouri Where I Heard This Lullabye

So I recently had a new friend of mine who does not live in the US ask me what it is like in my home state of Missouri. (Hi Pressure-Point!) It occurs to me that I really don't talk a lot about my home state and what its like to live here so I thought I would post a little information here for you in case you are curious.

Missouri is smack in the middle of the United States. On our East is the Mississippi River. To the west is, well, the west.

















If you look at this map we're the orange/pinkish state right in the middle. I live pretty close to the Mason Dixon line, actually which means that we're actually part of the South. Or, at least, our state fought for the South in the Civil War. In southern Missouri, where I live, the customs are fairly southern. We have about 69,000 square miles in or state.

Missouri has a population of about 6 million people, and is predominantly settle by Anglo-Europeans (white people, 80% or so). About 15% of our population is retired persons (over 55) and about 20% are under 18.  A terrifying 25% of our population has a bachelor's degree or higher, though I am encouraged to learn that 87% of our population graduated high school.

Our Two largest cities are Kansas City and St. Louis, both of them share half their city or more with another state. My home city is the third largest by population and is the largest completely within the borders of the state. None of our three major cities have more than a half million people and none of the three largest cities are the state capital.

Missouri is predominantly conservative with the exception of the two larger urban centers of St. Louis and Missouri. It is one of the things I really dislike about my home state since I am fairly (okay, really) liberal and this part of the country is seriously not conducive to the lifestyle of a witch/lesbian/democrat and I happen to be all three.

ON TO PICTURES AND MORE PLEASANT AND LESS BORING TOPICS!

Missouri is really green. Really green. We have a lot of trees, a lot of lakes and a lot of caves. We're known for a special kind of land formations called Kart Topography, which pretty much means that a lot of our caves collapse and become what we call "sink-holes" in my area. They're sometimes dangerous but really, really pretty if you have a chance to walk/hike through it.


This is a look down at a spring at the bottom of a bluff in the middle/north part of my state in Ha Ha Tonka state park. This park is full of Karst formations and is super pretty and a lot of fun to hike.

This is a picture from the bottom and across from the picture above. If you click on the picture and make it bigger you will see the remains of an old building at the top center of the photo. That's where I took the picture above at. It took me about an hour to get to the bottom.
This is actually inside my city at a nature preserve. This spring cuts through part of my city and actually joins with several others in the area to form part of the lake in my town.

I mostly chose this photo to point out how very, very green my area is. This creek is literally a mile from a major interstate.





This one below is me at the same place in the fall, and you can see how dull and grey it gets whenever the green dies out. It can be pretty lame, and depressing.


Our weather is pretty changeable so it is pretty hard to describe the weather in generalities. I can say that over my lifetime in my city, spring and fall are pretty mild- about 18 to 26C (thats 65-80 for you US folks). The summers are hot and very humid- it generally gets to be about 35C (95) most days and sometimes can go as high as almost 40C (105) and not be too unusual. The winters are cold and generally it averages 0C most days (32 or so) and during the worst months it will be -23C (about ten below) during the most bitter cold days.  


You never can tell what its going to do either. Last week there was 3 inches of snow on the ground. Today it is supposed to be about 26C. Tonight its supposed to snow again but we'll be back in the high twenties before the end of the week. Crazy. 

And, in case you're curious there's a lot of people who come from my hometown who are famous. Former Attorney General John Ashcroft was from here. If you like film and Television celebrities Bob Barker, Brad Pitt, John Goodman and Lucas Grabeel are all from my city. Kim Crosby, the Broadway actress, is too. We had the guy who starred in the second season of The Bachelor (he still lives here, actually). The and Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin (who are really great, actually) are local. Gracie Gold, the Olympic skater, is from my city.  And if you like science Edwin Hubble (yeah, the Hubble Telescope guy) is from a town about 20 minutes from mine. 

So, yeah. That's sort of what my town and state are like. 

Questions? Leave me a comment! I will love to tell you more about my state. Or me. Or whatever. 

AGxx
(Also, the song lyric I used today is from Missouri Waltz, my State Song and done beautifully by Johnny Cash.)







Monday, September 16, 2013

Everybody Changes

So it seems again like I am a lazy blogger, but honestly, things have been so crazy, I really feel like I've been a bit justified.

I have a job now, for one thing. I've been working at a wonderful place we'll call the Magic Pancake for about a month and a half now. I really like it and I'm super happy. Its actually one of the places I mentioned that I would miss when I leave the city I am living in now. I feel like the staff are my family and I really enjoy going to work every day. It isn't far from my house and I can walk home if I want to. Its pretty nice. I also am off by two every day because we are only open until then, so I have my afternoons free, which is really enjoyable. It gives me a chance to still see my friends, be active or get housework done before Kitten gets home.

Having a job means I have time out of the house, which makes me appreciate being at home more, if that was possible. It has also brought to my attention that I need to exercise a little more and maybe lose a little weight. No, I don't think I am fat (not when I'm being rational anyway) but I weighed myself at a friend's house a couple weeks ago and I've put on 15 pounds since I stopped smoking. Some exercise might be in order. I don't mind going up a couple of pant sizes, but I do want to be healthy. Come January I'll probably join a gym. I've been looking into the local YMCA among other places, and I think I've almost settled on them. They have a lot of good classes and there's one just a few blocks from my house. It has a pool and I'll have access to it even if I can't or don't feel like driving.

I should also probably mention the fact that Oscelot is no longer living with Kitten and I. We are no longer dating her. It is (so far) a pretty amicable split. She and Bobcat are moving into the house next door to us, which should be a good time. We've been wanting Bobcat to come back over to our side of town for a while now and it was very convenient that the house was open when Oscelot was looking for a place. It will, I hope, turn out well. If it doesn't...well, it happens. We are trying as hard as we can to smooth the way for all of us. We don't want any of that nasty picking sides or whatever that comes from a lot of breakups.

Personally, I think it is wonderful for her that she feels ready to be on her own and support herself. I think it is a huge step for her to want more for herself than Kitten and I could have given her. She deserves to be happy and be with a person who is entirely devoted to her.

Since Oscelot has been moving out I've spent a lot of time going through things and arranging the house. We got a new bed with a really firm mattress and that's nice. I am sleeping better already. That pillowtop....ich.

Otherwise, I've spent some time enjoying the BBC series Sherlock (yes, I've just started watching) and Kitten and I have been trying to have little dates on the weekend. Next week we're going to go see Spamalot, its showing locally. Last weekend we went to the Japanese Fall Festival at our local botanical gardens. They have a Japanese stroll garden and we really enjoyed it. There were performers from our sister city in Japan there, and we had fun. We bought weekend passes and Bobcat came with us. It was a lot of fun. Our first night out Sakura joined us as well. The second day of the festival Kitten and I went in kimono. It was really comfortable as hot as it was outside and I was delighted to have a chance to wear my kimono from our honeymoon out of the house and with its obi. It also meant I got to wear my pretty jade hair pick that Kitten gave me. She's such a sweetheart.

I'm hoping that things will settle down soon, though. I want to start working on the leather corset and greaves I was doing before I started working at the Magic Pancake, and I've got fabric for a Neo-Victorian bustle I want to wear with it. I'd like to have it finished before our local Con this year, but that's going to be up in the air. I also want to make myself a mannequin so I can do my hand-sewing on it....but that requires time, help and a TON of duct tape. Projects, projects....

So. That's me. For now.
loves
AGxx


Friday, August 2, 2013

Our House Is A Very Very Very Fine House

Its been a busy week. I've meant to blog for several days now and the time keeps getting away from me.

The short version is I've been taking care of some orphaned kittens and I redid my living room.

But a picture is worth a thousand words, right?

 So I took down most of the stuff on Tuesday night while we were watching America's Got Talent, which is why there are no curtains on the window. That's kitten sneaking out the door to her lovely new job. See that coffee in her hand? I brewed it!













That the wall that never had much on it,



That's the archway into the Library (read: used to be the dining room)














There's the captain's chair (yep, Star Trek reference) and Cookie chilling out, waiting for me to move it. Behind her, the door to the bedroom.



The bookshelves used to be over here. The wall was in need of serious repair. I patched it during AGT. I didn't mind it too much...except I looked up during the last act and realized that Howard Stern was looking extra nice on that episode. Of course I missed it. I keep reminding myself there's a whole season...

So I got back to the corner and to work.

This might, maybe, be the books from the living room, sitting on a table in the dining room. They might also be so heavy I was worried about breaking the table they were on. I haven't actually counted them, but I'm thinking there's somewhere in the neighborhood of 350 books there. Minimum.


The dust I kicked up moving them...nope.

This might be the window in the library, where I had to stack more books because I ran out of space on the table.

This is the walls, nice and primed.

I think we did an okay job of it, really.



There's the back of Bobcat as she removes my sconces so she can paint them. 'Cause she's awesome like that.


There's the new green wall. In this light it looks way brighter than I think it looks normally. But its fine either way, because its much cleaner looking. Speaking of clean, you wouldn't notice but I shampooed the carpets too.

There's Kitten, Bobcat and Oscelot watching the AGT results show. I'm pretty sure Bobcat is holding a kitten. She's sitting on that nice leather couch I got. Isn't it pretty?


There's the entry to the library now I like that we relocated the television. I think it makes the space look much cleaner.

Also, having moved those bookshelves, I'm pretty sure I have room for two more, if I play my cards right.




There's the new corner. I love that purple color.  If you look to the left you can see my blue and pink polka-dot bedroom. Super girly, just like my new living room.



There's the new entry. The key holder is actually a little garden fence. We just bent the scrollwork in. Nice, right? Also, way more room for all the keys.

The captain's chair looks much more official from that corner.

I might have saved the pillows off the old couch so that I can recover them and reuse them.




So...that's what I've been up to.

I've also spent my time not cleaning and kitten minding reading the first book in Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series with Swisslet. That's pretty much all of my time.

So...what have you lot been improving?
AGxx

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I Miss You Like The Deserts Miss The Rain

Anyone who's talked to me in the last couple of years (well, ever, really) knows that I'm not particularly fond of the part of the country that I live in. I don't care for my city, as nice as it is, and I don't care for my state. It's not that I can't see the appeal- I can, to a degree. Unfortunately, all of those things that appeal to the people who live in this area of the country mean almost nothing to me. I don't have kids to raise, so being in a bigger city with a small town feel doesn't do much for me. I don't think the level of education in our area is particularly high, though I will say that its better than some of the bigger cities in our state. There's plenty of green space and lakes to enjoy. Unfortunately, the political climate of our region makes it so that a lot of that is closed off to me and Kitten unless we want to spend a whole day acting like acquaintances. I don't.

At any rate, I feel like I've made it really clear that I'm not fond of here and that there are other places (namely, Portland Oregon) that I would rather be. That said, this last week Kitten and I were finally able to go into our favorite local breakfast joint and have a bite to eat. It was then that we realized that there were, indeed, things that we would miss about my hometown.

I will, certainly, miss that breakfast place. Part of it is the closeness. I feel like I'm at home. The staff feels like family. Hey- we had only been away a couple of months (one of them on vacation) and some of the kitchen staff came out to give us hugs. Seriously. I am friends with them on Facebook and it feels like I'm in my grandfather's kitchen when I'm there. Not so much the look, but the atmosphere and the taste. They make pancakes I swear could be my grandfathers...it's about the only place I'll eat them short of at home. The food is good and home made. The staff are wonderful people. It's cozy in a crammed, warm, comfortable kind of way. When we move, I'll have to spend months, maybe years, looking for another place like that.

I'll miss the convenience culture of my town, whether I want to admit it or not. Do I want to live in a town that encourages local business, local food markets and healthy living? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean I won't miss Walmart. I know, I know, there's plenty of Walmart haters out there and I understand it. I do. But let me tell you something- if my coffee pot breaks any time day or night I know there are a minimum of seven different places I can get a high quality, programmable, grinds yours beans, steams your milk and sings you good morning coffee pot. Minimum. See, in my town, we have six Walmart Supercenters, eight or nine (I've lost count)  Neighborhood markets, Three Big K-Marts, A Super Target, and somewhere in the neighborhood of ten big market national chain superstores. We have six or seven Walgreens and three CVS pharmacies. I choose which store I shop at based on which one's layout I like best. I have five major grocery stores within three miles of my home. That's convenient.

I wonder how I will cope in a city where there isn't a grocery on every corner. I don't know how I'll feel when I have to drive to get to a big box store. Hell, maybe I'll start shopping online. I mean, I knew someone who moved out there and actually had to ask their friends on Facebook where to get a toaster because there wasn't a Walmart within easy driving distance. How will I feel when I can't get to a McDonald's within 5 minutes of wherever I am in town? Thinner, probably, but that won't help my french fry craving. We'll see...but I think I'll miss it a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I think the perks outweigh the disadvantages, but it will be a big change.

Speaking of which, I'll have to adjust my eating habits. Specifically when it comes to "Chinese" food. Now, we all know there's nothing Chinese about the stuff we order at The Great Wall of Chicken (or wherever you like to go- pick one, our city has probably close to fifty) but its not going to be the same when we move. We're going to want Chinese and what we're really going to want is a local delicacy called "cashew chicken" and I was raised on the stuff. Let me tell you, no one on the planet makes it the way we do here...and I'll miss eating it. We keep swearing we're going to perfect our own recipes...but I will get to craving my old favorite places and I'm pretty sure my visits home will be packed full of cartons full of Shanghai Dynasty's (or wherever's) food.

More than that- there's food everywhere here. Seriously, if you drop someone anywhere in my city with $20 they can walk to a restaurant and be eating in less than ten minutes. Take the picture below. From the corner where that picture was taken, I know off the top of my head there is a McDonald's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Starbucks, Rib Crib, two other local BBQ places, a Chinese place (Kitten's favorite one, actually), a McCallister's Deli, and a Long John Silver's within visual radius. There is also a liquor store, a grocery store, and a whole foods type market. There's even two restaurants inside the building, one of them an upscale casual type place...I'm going to miss food, en masse, everywhere I look. Hey- I never said I wasn't a glutton.  

I'm also going to miss Bass Pro Outdoor World.

Okay, I know it's a strange thing to miss, but I will. You can keep Cabelas. I love that this place is massive. It's got a shooting range inside it for heaven's sake. There's waterfalls and tanks of fish and a wildlife museum. On the way down to the boat gallery (yeah, where you go to view all the different kinds of boast you can by, in an indoor showroom) there's a giant enclosure with an alligator in it. That's intense.

I like to go there for camping gear. They carry quality hiking boots and some really nice clothes. My favorite pair of hiking pants came from there. If we're ever bored, its a great place to go and daydream. Why yes, I am a lesbian stereotype sometimes- its nice to think about the tents, subzero rated sleeping bags, utility knives, waterproof boots, etc, etc, that I would like to own. This is a great place for it. In the winter it's nice to head over to the little food area they have and grab a mug of coffee or cider and then settle down in front of the giant fireplace and rest. Those split wood rocking chairs are comfortable. As many great stores as they have up north, there won't be a Bass Pro in Portland.

I'm also going to miss the flea markets and thrift stores. I'm not saying that there won't be great ones there...but I have my favorites here. For some reason I think Bobcat and I are going to end up reminiscing about the days when we could find an English Walnut sideboard from the mid-1800's for less than three grand. I do. Because I know that's not normal. It will take some adjusting. And speaking of the things used and abused- I'll miss my favorite local used book dealer, where all the girls know me and ask about my writing and what I've been up to. The ones that chorus with me (when the new kid foolishly asks if I have trade credit) "She never brings them back." I say it every time. These are the girls who will laugh when I reach into my coat for the fistful of quarters I know is there and come up with a fistful of Starburst candies- and then gleefully take one when I offer the fistful to them. They know I'm cool. I'm going to miss that. Even if there is Powell's City of Books.

I can't think of many things I'll be sorry to leave behind....but those things...yeah. I might just miss them every now and again. I guess in a few years we'll see. Won't we?

AGxx

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Its Been A Long Long Time

So I have been a very bad blogger and not posted for something like two months. I know, I know. Someone I love very much brought it to my attention this week, inadvertently, that my blogging has dropped off, and I think to myself "I should get back to that, even though there's only like, four people reading this. Because, you know, there's four people out there who care about my life. And its healthy for me to express myself."

I have two bits of good news and two bits of not so good news, so we'll cover the happy stuff first so you can bail if you want later.

Good news part one? Kitten graduated. I mentioned this before, I think. She graduated with honors. Her party went well. Everyone was nice to each other (there was some concern about that) and she had a good time. She has a new job in her career field as of last week. It pays much better than her old job, the people are nice, and its not in residential cooling, which was what she was terrified she would end up doing. She did not want to be a lackey for all the window units in this corner of our state. She isn't, and that's awesome. They're going to train her into other fields. They're going to pay for extra education. They're paying 100% of her health insurance. She loves the work already. I'l so terribly proud of her.

The other good news is that as of the day after I posted the blog previous to this one (That is, the 26 May) I have been smoke free. None, nada, zilch, no slip ups or stress smokes or I'm-trying-really-hard-so-I've-earned-ones, not even a its-giving-me-a-migraine one. NO. SMOKING. I'm pretty proud of myself. I was doing between half a pack and a whole pack a day depending, so quitting cold turkey was hard. I am pretty sure I wasn't fun to be around. It may or may not have contributed to the incident that has, in-part, kept me from blogging for the last month.
Which was this

<-------------------------

The vacation.

That's right. It was horrible. I'm pretty sure the smiling happened only for the camera. Well, most of the time, anyway.

For the record, I'm giving you the edited for public consumption version of this tale, because I have some semblance of respect (not a lot, but a little) for my family.

I do think that me not smoking contributed to this awful. Kitten actually begged me three days in to smoke, telling me it would be okay and I could start over when we got back to town, but by then I was three days in and I was damn well not going to give up if I didn't have to. The lack of cigarette, for the first week or so anyway, would be enough to make most people be grumpy.

The other part had a lot to do with KMom. Suffice to say our styles of travelling are different. That was a struggle for me. I'm a "lets have a plan and get directions and go do things like we planned" kind of girl. She's more of a "throw caution to the wind, work without a plan, get directions while on the street (even from bums!)" kind of girl. She's also very set in her ways, because she's lived alone for something like 12 years, she isn't used to compromising. In our household its almost all about compromising so I struggle when someone, anyone, is contrary about working as a team. Even in my coven everyone works as a team and we all make decisions based on consensus, which makes it easy for things to get done and everyone to feel like they're important. Not so with KMom. That was a problem for me. A big one.

When it came to the camping aspect it got worse. Really bad, actually. Again, that has a lot to do with me believing that camping is an act of teamwork and KMom isn't really a team player. Not to mention, despite her protestations to the contrary, she's a sissy camper. She is WAY to concerned with comfort. And she didn't like to help carry things. Or work. At all. Which naturally pissed me off. Especially when she's insisting we repack the truck (again) because she doesn't like how things are arranged (even if we are unpacking it all again in three hours). Or when we were getting ready to leave and I'm sick with a headache so bad I'm stepping off the trail to throw up while I haul coolers and bags and she stops with holding only a pillow and complains to me about how long the trail to the car is and how hot and uncomfortable she feels. Or when she's telling me that I'm making dinner wrong (How, I ask? How?) or not to her tastes. She was cranky or combative whenever we went hiking or did anything strenuous, but insisted on coming along. If it rained she would hide out in her tent. And it rained. It did. Like, a tropical storm hit one of our campsites....that was a real treat.

Here's us camping, by the way- well, k\hiking a trail at our campsite. This was our first site, at Hunting Island State Park.



She also wouldn't stop making fun of my newly discovered phobia of raccoons. It was constant. And it pissed me off.

I know its petty, but seriously. I wasn't afraid of them before. I wasn't. Its just, you know, they were everywhere. And not afraid of anything. Like, there were bear boxes for yours stuff to keep them out. Oh, and I should mention THEY WERE THE SIZE OF AN AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD. And they broke into our tent. Twice. Once was at night and it tore through the closet on our tent. Not cool. Of course I was afraid. I think this is reasonable. Especially since I was fighting off nicotine cravings and getting next to no sleep between them and the headaches I was having from what turned out to be a tropical storm depression.

Imagine this:









The size of this:










Of course it made me nervous.

There were other things that upset me too, but really, I don't think anyone would like KMom if I talked about it. And honestly, I don't want you all hating her. She's a nice lady, most of the time. She's just set in her ways, and she's still a little skittish about her relationship with Kitten and that makes her a little possessive sometimes.

There were some good parts of the trip, really. Like, you know. The food. I wept over some of the food. I love soul food. I love fried chicken and home made mashed potatoes. I love locally sourced vegetables and fruit. I like veal so fresh that it was just days from gamboling about in some farmer's field. That's good food. The whole trip was like that too- locally sourced ingredients, fresh made honey, hand made desserts. When we were eating out I was not an unhappy person. I was very happy indeed. Even the delis (and god, we had so many sandwiches at lunch because KMom doesn't like heavy food in the afternoon) were really, really good. Fresh bread, hand-sliced meats, local sauces and pickles and such. Yep, the food was amazing.

We went to a zoo. That was fun. We took a ghost tour- actually, we took two. That was amazing. I played in the ocean with Oscelot. We collected seashells at low tide. I managed to impress my ladies with my ability to cook anything in cast-iron- my meals were like we never left home thankyouverymuch. I saw my first lighthouse up close (not impressive) and drove through the Great Smokey Mountains (really impressive). I managed to whittle a new walking staff for myself. Yes, I do whittle. We saw some amazing waterfalls. We hiked in the rain (so that was both fun and awful).

It wasn't all bad. Just most of it. I'm making the best of the memories now that we're here, because I want it to be something Kitten remembers fondly. Hell, a few years from now some of this may seem funny. Maybe.

The other thing that's really kept me off the blog is I've been coping with depression again. Almost from the moment we got home I've been struggling. Some of it, I know, has to do with inadequacy issues brought on by the things that happened on the trip that I don't want to talk about. Some of it, I think, is just old issues reasserting themselves now that they have the chance. I spent the first couple of weeks back sitting in Kitten's recliner alternately weeping and moping.

I;m better now, and I've got my issues sorted out. It was not, however, conducive to me being here and sharing things with you. I credit my speedy recovery to (1) my partners, who totally didn't judge me (2) my coven, who spent plenty of time patting me on the back and letting me be totally weak even though I'm supposed to be leading (3) plenty of B vitamins and an iron supplement and (4) one conversation with one very special person that I hadn't talked to in a while. Talking to him reminded me I've been through worse and I'm tougher than I was letting myself be. It was the linchpin in my recovery.

Now that I'm back and feeling normal again, I'm going to make an effort to actually be a good blogger and put things up more than once a month or so. Maybe I'll even go back to that old blog-every-day habit I had five or six years ago....

I love you all. I want you to know that.

Its good to be home.

AGxx

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I will wash the dishes, if you'll pay all the bills...

I've been a housewife for almost a month now. It seems funny to me how the days seem to run together. I would swear I only stopped working a couple of days ago...but time has a strange way of slipping away from me. Over the last few weeks I have had a lot of people asking me how I like being a housewife. It seems to be the first question everyone who doesn't see me on a near daily basis asks me.

The truth is, I actually am really enjoying myself. I have to be honest, though, I think a lot of people are under the mistaken impression that I lie around all day eating chocolates and reading romance novels. That's only about a quarter true. I have been reading a lot of romance novels, but that's more because I am looking into them as a form of research rather than because I lack things to do.

My house is certainly much cleaner than it has been in the last four years. It never ceases to amaze me how I find that the second I turn around there is something else to clean. I didn't realize I am a compulsive cleaner up till now. But the first thing I did when I found I had spare time was start cleaning. Deep cleaning, mind you. I've developed quite the routine that way. There's already a pattern I have in place. Deep clean the carpets every Thursday. Vacuum every other day. Dishes in the morning. Laundry when the basket in the bathroom fills up. Fold and put it away on  Thursday...

But I've been busy with other things too. My life seems like it is more full than it was before, but truly I think I am simply making time for the things I was cramming into my space four hours a night before. I've been working on things for the coven much more frequently, I've filed my poor book of shadows finally, and its almost up to date. I've been working on ritual more frequently, and finding there is always something new to do or to learn.

My writing has been taking up my time as well. November is almost upon me, and I am going to churn out an entire novel in that month. I've worked diligently to plan the outline of the new book and where I want to go with it. I've already looked into possible publishers and I am back on the horse looking for agents that I might be interested in. I know I'm going to find the right one this time, and its going to go more smoothly, because I know what to expect. I've also got that short piece I've been working on. Some days it goes really slow, and I'm proud of five sentences in half an hour. Other days I sit and find that an hour's worth of work is another chapter down. Its refreshing to have time to write and to enjoy doing it.

I love being able to make dinner and have things ready for the girls when they get home. I like planning my day ahead of time. Its nice to have activities to do in my spare time. I've started working on a quilt for Kitten in my spare time. I've almost got all of the squares cut out. Its only a matter of time before I start piecing them together. It will be a fun winter project.

I feel a lot more refreshed than I had, although I've had a bout of bad luck with my health. I had a headache for nearly a week solid and then I caught a nasty 24 hour bug that put me down hard in the last couple of days. That wasn't so much fun. But then, as some of my dear friends have pointed out, my body is likely getting rid of the tension caused by many years of stress held in and not dealt with. The nightmares I had the first week or so that I was off work were terrifying, but they're down to a trickle now. I'm not having them as much as I was, and I assume this is a result of me feeling more secure and much happier than I did.

Don't get me wrong, there are days where I feel terribly annoyed that I don't contribute financially to our household. It irritates me to think that I am being supported by my ladies. But then, they don't seem to have a problem with it. In fact, they encourage me to rest, to write, and to take my time getting back together before I even think about looking for another job. Even Kitten's mom, whom I assumed wouldn't like me not working has told me that she thinks its better that I'm home, and that if I want a job I should wait until something perfect comes along. That way I can do something I love.

In the meantime, I am finding life at home to be pleasant. I am able to do the things I like without feeling bad about it. It turns out we really aren't loosing that much money, so the girls aren't worried at all. Sometimes that bothers me too, thinking that maybe I worked all those years for nothing, because when it comes down to it, no one is really missing my income. But then, I learned something from all of those years, so its not like it was all for naught.

I keep wondering when I am going to find that I am bored, or unhappy, or wishing for something else to do with my life. But truly, after a month, I've discovered that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I am making my home a richer, warmer place for my family. I am building on the strength of my friendships. I am working for the good of my coven, without feeling I am giving it half attention, or that I am somehow lacking in my abilities. I am writing, for the first time, whenever I feel like it. I am writing for the joy of it. I am writing because I want to make it my career. And that feels good. Really good.

For me, it took a lot of courage and a lot of trust to let go of my job and come home. I was terrified. I was uncertain. But I am glad now that I did it. There are, of course, some things I wish I could change. I miss some of my work friends. I miss the active feeling I had when I was working. I need to exercise or I'm going to put on weight, I am sure of it. But then, I have more things to do than I did before. I don't see my lack of job as something that leaves me bereft. It has given me the perspective I need to move forward with my life. The insomnia is creeping back in, and don't think its because I am sleeping late. Far from it. I get up earlier now than I ever did when I worked at Casa Bueno. But I find I am not so tired at night that my only option is to fall into bed and go to sleep. I find my mind wandering. I don't mind too much, though. It gives me a chance to think of new things, and to let myself dream of what I want.

For the first time in years, I don't go to bed wondering. I don't go to bed worrying. I just go to bed. And when sleep comes, I'm not afraid. Not of the night or the morning, or the day that comes after. I don't worry about what happened during the day. I merely pass pleasantly on to my dreams, which are their own sort of adventure.

Yes, I think I like this very much. Only time will tell...but then, I have all the time in the world. Don't I?

AGxx

Friday, June 1, 2012

It Feels Like Home

The last few days have been really good to me. I've had a really productive week and I feel like things are really lining up for me. I've been making a lot of personal progress, and things have been going well with the more nuts and bolts part of my life too. Its really nice.

This week we had a meeting at Casa Bueno. That may not sound very interesting, but in the five years I have worked there, I have never once seen a staff meeting. Not once, until now. This week our regional manager from corporate called a meeting and we got together to talk about changes the company is making. I'm pretty excited about it. The meeting itself wasn't full of too much news, not anything we hadn't heard already anyway. It was more of a chance for our RM to talk to us about company philosophy and the new direction we're moving. The interesting stuff is the actual changes that are going to be made.

Our stores are all going to be remodeled, over a period of time of course. The big note there is that we'll have to earn one, and frankly, I think we can do it. If the talk we had was any indicator, we're on track already. My staff know how to relate to guests. They know how to act like professionals. They are full of enthusiasm and energy when they work. I like that about our team. You only had to look at them at the meeting to see it. Outside of the people who had just finished a shift and were in uniform, everyone took the time to clean up and look nice, even though no one was going to see us. We care about what we do. Everyone sat close to each other, and though there is a little grouping off, the groups still talked to each other. Everyone had a good time together before we got to the brass tax part of the meeting. We're getting new uniforms, which I can't wait for. They'll look a lot more professional, much cleaner and much more in line with what we want for our company. We're designing new lines of food and new plating for old favorites. We're updating our style, and I think we're all excited about it.

I spoke to Mr. Boss yesterday about whether or not he would let me do some off the clock liquor classes. Its one of the few things I think we really need to work on. When you work in a Mexican restaurant, its pretty important to have a working knowledge of both tequila and import beers- if you want to sell them. I want us to, and an increase in liquor sales won't hurt anyone. My idea was I would come in and offer once a week to take volunteers to study tequila that we carry and learn how to sell it. The overagers would have a tasting class so they would be familiar with the flavors of the alcohol. I think it would work to all of our advantage. If I picked up a pizza and we relaxed, I think it would go over well. Almost every Italian restaurant I know of has something like this and I think we would benefit from advanced knowledge. If you, as a guest, don't know that an Anejo is better than a Reposado, and I don't tell you then I don't get that upsell and you don't get as nice a drink. We'll see. If he agrees and it works, I think some of our other trainers could offer classes on hospitality and menu knowledge, and we could really improve our personal product. That's where we can get better. Because really, our food is excellent, and having eaten there for five years (15000 meals, I've done the math) I would know.

In other non-work but still work related news, Sakura and I are making huge progress on our Litha ritual, which is the next holiday we have coming. We're already blocking it out, and its nice to see how things are shaping up. Usually I do ritual alone, and I won't have time to practice and this makes things much simpler. He and I (to the amusement of my neighbors, no doubt) have spent enough time wandering around in my back yard to start tanning. More important than our crispy skin, though, we've found where the kinks are in the ritual, and we're ironing them out. Spell supplies are almost completely purchased, and we've moved on to writing a detailed outline that rather looks like a play. It tells us exactly where to step, where to move and when to do it. I like it, because reading through it as we write it out helps me learn all the words. Because the memorization part is coming, and that's going to be the hardest part.

Most rituals run between and hour and an hour and a half. That is a lot of prose to keep in your head, even if you did write most of it. It is nice to have Sakura on board because that means I have half the memorizing to do, and I like that. My memory isn't what it used to be. On top of that, having him there means if I hit a wall, he can have my back because he knows exactly where we are headed. There are other challenges of course. We bought a fire pit this week. Prior to this we just used one that was dug out in the back yard. Unfortunately, or blessedly depending on how you look at it, Hydra -the giant five trunked walnut in our backyard, has gown so that she hangs over the fire pit. Good for her, until we light a fire. So, the fire pit must be moved. We've relocated farther back into the yard, but digging out another spot seemed like a pain in the butt. So when Kitten and I were last at Local Home Improvement Center, we looked at the fire pits. We found one that looks like a gigantic cauldron and fell in love. As soon as it stops raining (no, I am not complaining, we needed it badly) we're going to head out to the back and make a beautiful place for our new fire pit to rest.

Of course, the fire pit itself is only one of the challenges. We've got to figure out how to build a flammable figure that looks like a person (its not what you think, I promise) so we can chuck it in the fire. This little effigy also has to have a stomach that opens so we can put things in it. I'm thinking on it, and I haven't come up with a good solution yet. Given time, though, I'm sure we will. I just need to have it figured out by June 13, which is when we are doing our full practice run. (We are using a lot of fire, practice prevents accidents)

With all the work on Litha we have of course been thinking about personal transformation. This leads us to thoughts of our goals and what we want for the future. I think things are shaping up nicely. Sakura has decided (well, decided a while ago) that he wants to move up to Portland with us when we go. We've got another two or three years depending on how things shape out. We had discussed with him that of course if he came at the same time we did, which we expected, that he could stay in our home with us until he found a place of his own. Then the thought struck us all, why not get a house big enough for all four of us, and just do what we pretty well do now- spend every day together?

We liked it. Everyone agreed. Which meant a few days of sitting and planning out what sort of house we would like, how much space we would need, and how much money we would want when we finally took off for the rose city. The decision we reached was we wanted one with two master suites or with an in-laws quarters. We appreciate Sakura's need to have his own space and be able to be away from the ladies every now and again. We agreed a family room or a great room would be necessary, because he has a ton of books too, and a library is a must for all of us, and we'd like it not to be in our dining room area this time. We all agree we want a separate space set aside from the rest of the house to practice our Craft in, somewhere sacred and used only for that purpose. We want a big kitchen, a place to entertain guests. We also want a guest room, so our families and friends can come to visit us. For Sakura and I, there was also the yard. We need one. We need a big back yard, with a privacy fence and plenty of green. I want a deck or a covered porch to fill with ivy and climbing roses and put a hot tub on. The hot tub, for me, is not negotiable. I want one. It will be good for everyone's health. Plus its great after a long day at work.

It seems like a lot to want, but believe it or not, we found plenty of houses in Portland proper, not the suburbs, that fit this description, and most of them fell in the $170,000 to $250,000 range. That sounds like a lot of money, but we've all taken the time to do a budget as a family, and in three years we'll have approximately $100,000 to pay as a down payment on a house. Even at a 6% interest rate, lord save us, that would put us at a mortgage of about $400 a month, if we did a 20-30 year mortgage. That's less than what we pay now. Its completely feasible.

As if the Spirit has been hinting this at us all along, Sakura's lease on his apartment is up this month. Last week, the renters that we didn't care for in the house next to us moved out. The house will be for rent in a few day's time, and its well within Sakura's price range, especially now that he has a new job. There is no such thing as a coincidence. Ever. For us, this was a signal that we've got the right idea, and next door is the next best thing to in our house, which we would happily welcome him into now, were it not so effing small. 900 square feet is barely enough for three plus the cats. There's no way any of us would be happy if we added more.

Either way, we spent most of last night looking at homes. We took time to break, study the lesson for this week, and do our meditations. But, for the most part, we talked about our new home. We talked about budgeting, about what kinds of jobs we wanted and expected. We talked about school and financial investments. We talked about living in a child free household. We also daydreamed about box seats at the opera, symphony and ballet. (Yeah, we're snobs) It was a great evening for us, as a family. I feel more at home, happier and more on track. Kitten and I were talking about it Wednesday, that its nice to have people who help keep you on track, who give you perspective, and who push you towards your goals- not roughly, but with gentle love and encouragement. Sometimes its easy to lose sight of the big picture. But life is always a matter of how you frame it.

I've got a really beautiful life. I've got a lot of loving people who make life good for me. I'm lucky because when I do move, one of the best women I've ever met and her delightful husband are already waiting for us. The people I love will be coming with me. There's a few I'll be reluctant to leave behind, but that's not saying that over the next three years I can't talk them into coming with us too. As for my future home, I hope that I'll be able to fill it with as much love and laughter as the one I live in now. Those thing have a tendency to multiply, I know, so I don't think it will be too much a challenge.

Lucky, Lucky me. I'll leave the light on and the key out when I get there. You know you're welcome.

AGxx


Friday, March 9, 2012

I Just Want To Bang On The Drum All Day

Yesterday was an interesting day for me.

I worked, of course, and that's not terribly interesting aside from the fact that we were busy. We had a group of 25 call about an hour before we opened to let us know they were coming in. It was nice for them to give us a head's up, we called Shorty (bless her heart it was her only day off!) and she came in to help us out, which was very nice of her.

At the end of the afternoon Kitten and Oscelot came in because we ride home together. They filled out their new hire packets. It was a new experience for me. Despite the fact that I have worked with Oscleot before, this is the first time that I've had someone in my family hired on at a job I was working at, while I was a senior staff member. I think things will be fine, I really do. I took Kitten around the store after she finished and gave her a very brief training session where I showed her how to find things, taught her the table numbers, ect. I know I'm biaed, but froma training standpoint I'm not...I was pleased to see that she understood and remembered things quickly, and she asked intelligent questions. I'll look forward to working with her next Saturday.

After work we went home and I went to go get things for dinner. Hedgewitch, Shyguy and Shorty all came over and I made Indian food. It was an epic fail. I didn't care for it, I'm pretty sure Shorty didn't and I know Kitten didn't. Well...live and learn. You can't figure out you're bad at making reigonal cuisine unless you try right?

While Kitten was in class I did take the time to go over some of our plans for while she is away with Oscleot. I liked having Hedgewitch and Shyguy there too, because they're going to help us out when they can. I picked up some fabric swatches yesterday morning and brought them home for us to look at. I think we narrowed it down to two or three fabrics we like, which is nice. WE can get an approximation on the price to cover the couch and get moving on that. We worked out a timeframe for repainting the living room and the library. I know the library will take longer, only because there's more stuff to move in there. I mean, thousands of books don't just pick up and move on their own. I'll have to move the computer desk too...so there'll be some technology wrestling too. I think we can manage. I've pretty well decided I'm going to get rid ofthe curtains in the library and get new ones. The ones we have now are old, they came with the house, and they don't match anything.

I am still thinking very carefully about replacing the flooring in the living room and the library. I'm terrified I'll screw it up. But I'm going to make it work. Hell, Guitar Hero managed to lay flooring in ourback room all by herself. If she can do it so can I! Speasking of, Oscelot is supposed to be pumping her for information about where she got the hardwoods she put in the back room, because I know she got them for cheap...and we like that because they're really pretty too. Its bamboo flooring, which is such a nice color.

Today starts my long weekend. I open at work today and I bartend tonight, tomorrow I open the bar and I close books as a manager. I open again on Sunday morning, and that's a lot of days in a row where I'm working all day and I'll be away from the girls. I'm going to miss them. I was going to see if I could talk Oscelot into weeding some of the flower beds while Iw as away this weekend, so we could get a jump start on the flowers, but wouldn't you know, yesterday it hailed and sleeted in the afternoon and its cold as all get out this morning. Its not going to be too warm this weekend. Our weather is so erratic it hurts. We were in the high sixties two days ago.

I've got some ideas for improving my garden this year. I want to line my driveway with Irises, which I need to get into the ground soon. I also want to plant a shade/porch garden on the porch when we refinish it. I was thinking about window boxes too...but that might have to wait. I'm not sure yet on those. I have to finish painting the outside of the house before that can happen. Our rock pathway is charming with its old stone planters, and I'm thinking about putting an old english cottage blend of flowers in a line down it, circled around our pathway lights. I think it could be cute. We'll see.

Of course, I need to buy some new rose bushes to replace the one my awful neighbor ran over last year, and I have space for a couple more before it gets rediculous. Of course, I also need to find something to do with the one shady spot of our yard, just to the east of our porch. I'm thinking ferns, because they like ddamp, and we've got a little tree with a face planter I might put over there with them, just because he's cute and it will look curte when they finish blooming. I know it sounds silly, but I've had a hankering for some big stone lions to sit at the base of our porch steps, so I am keeping my eyes peeled for some. I think we've got our bird bath picked out too. I'm looknig forward to posting pictures once the yard is blooming full tilt. Its going to be lovely.

Of course, the fun part about all of this work is that it will be a nice suprise for Kitten every time she comes home from her internship on the weekend. I'm going to work in three day surts, which means I have plenty of time for projects. I can do this. I can do this with the help of Oscelot and my awesome friends. I can.

That's me for the last two and next three days. I hope you all have a good weekend. I don't know if I'll make it back on before Sunday or not. I'm going to be mighty tired.

Are stone lions tacky? I don't know...its not gnomes or flamingos right?

AGxx

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Just Like A Domino

It must be spring, despite the recent cold snap. I feel like cleaning. This morning I've gone through my whole house like a madwoman, tidying, cleaning and in general trying to get things in order. I've already started a pile of things to take to the local goodwill, and I have a list almost two pages long of things I want to get done over the next week.

I go through this every spring- the wild desire to get things in order. With Kitten likely to be gone over the summer I've been trying really hard to think of all the projects I want to get accomplished while she's away. If I am going to do that, the house has to be in perfect order, so I'm starting now.

I'm trying to convince Oscleot to get rid of her bed. I know she keeps it out of sentementality, though I can't understand why...and she hasn't slept in the damn thing in almost two years. It takes up a lot of space in the house and I've got about a hunderd things I could do with that space if she would get rid of it. Also, there've been tornadoes in our area recently (yep, its that season) and I think it would be nice to be able to donate a nice bed to someone who actually needs it. I'm working on that one.

We planted some climbing roses a couple of days ago around our arbor and I can't wait to see how they bloom out this spring and summer. We've picked out a birdbath for the center of one of my rose beds, and I'm looking forward to going and getting it, so we have something to offset the massive amount of blank space in the middle of the bed. Its almost time to start weeding, feeding my soil and getting in the dirt again. This year I want to get some more irises and line our driveway with them. I have a whole set of lights to line our walkway with, and I'm going to get on putting them together soon , so we can put them out.

Yep, its looking like a productive spring in store for me.

I think I'm going to take the time this wednesday or thursday to pull all my books off the shelves and clean the shelves and then reorganize the books. It will make my living room and library look much tidier. I'm planning on painting the living room and getting it a little cleaner looking while Kitten is away. I've had this idea for a while I might buy a couch over and the hand cover the throw pillows for it, just so things look nicer. I'm thinking I can manage that.

I've been worried, a little, because Kitten has been in a terrible mood the last few days. I think a lot of it has to do with the impending separation. I know she worries, and she has a lot on her mind. She's going to be turning the finances over to me, and I'm sure she's terrified I'll ruin her impeccable credit rating. I'm also thinking that this thing of being away is making her more distant, maybe she's trying to deal with it now. I'm not sure, but she's been more standoffish lately, and its meant that I've had to give her a little more space than I want to. I mean, I want to crawl all over her, because I want to be close to her while I can. I know better, so I'm trying not to smother her, or give her a reason to be more grumpy, but its hard.

Emotionally, dealing with the thought of her being away from me is less difficult than I thought it would be, although how that holds up once she's gone remains to be seen. I'm trying to put it into my head that she's not going to be very far, and that she'll be doing a really great thing. I'm super proud of her, and I want her to know that. Sometimes I doubt my ability to be the kind of partner she needs, but I am trying really hard. I mean, we love each other, there's no doubt about that...but I'm terrified of letting her down, though I would never tell her that. Oh, don't get me wrong, I can pay bills and keep the household running. But she's going away and improvig herself and making it so that we can have a really gret life together. I'm more worried that when she comes home, I won't have made as good a use of the time as I could have, and I want her to be proud of me. I want her to come back and think that I'm an awesome wife, and that I do great things too...

We'll see. I'm going to do my best, and I suppose that's all that I can do.

I'm off to work, where I will hopefully make a lot of money. I want to sock back as much as possible while I can. I've got this plan to save a huge amount of money while she's gone. I want to be able to have her look at the bank account and be really suprised at how well I did. I want to pay off at least one bill while she's away to suprise her with. Most of ours are pretty huge, so we'll see...but I think I can manage it. Also, I want the bank account with the money for the down payment on our new house to be nice a fat when she comes home too. That I know I can do. I have a feeling I'll be working a lot more than I expected this summer, but I won't mind. I'm going to make the best of things.

Enough of my worrying. I have to dash.

Love you all.
AGxx

Sunday, February 26, 2012

It Feels Like Home

I went inside Flyguy's house for the first time today.

That may not seem like a big deal, but since I've known him for almost 8 months now and I've only seen his house from the outside, I was pretty excited. Also, I'm old fasioned (and secretive) enough that its a big deal to me if someone invites me into their home. I look at it as an honor. Its a sign of trust. If I allow you into my house, I'm telling you that you are someone who is important to me. If I tell you where my spare keys are kept? Well, you might as well be family. I don't even think my mom knows where I put it.

I won't wax long on what his house looked like. One, its none of your business and two, it would probably bore you. Suffice to say, I had a mental picture in my head, it was about 18% correct, and I liked what was different about a million times better. Also, he has lots of plants and I am totally jealous.

But it did get me thinking, because I think what a house looks like, and what you think someone's house looks like is a huge indicator of what that person is like. I mean, if you have fuzzy pot leaf blacklight posters on your walls thats way different then someone who has a handmade quilt on their bed, right?

For example, my grandmother lives in my great grandma's house. She had painted it pink when her husband passed because she was redheaded and he wouldn't let her wear pink because it clashed with her hair. Her bedroom was red. To me, it showed her expressing her independence when my great grandfather died. My grandma has not changed hardly a thing since she moved in and my great grandma passed. I think that shows her way of greiving.

My mom, when she had her own place, had a bright red couch and before that she had animal print. But everything else was neutral. I think that was her way of trying to be bold but falling back into a safe zone when she was unsure. Its a lot like her personality now.

Anyway, I thought you might possibly be interested in what my house looks like? Yes?

My living room is in golds, greens, plums and dark mauve. My curtains are that maroon but not maroon color with tiny pink rosebuds embroidered on them. We have pale pink swags of chiffon hanging from them. No, actually Kitten picked them out. And the bamboo blinds to cover the windows. Our couch and chair are second hand and ugly because our cats tear them up and we know we're getting new stuff when we move, so why bother getting soemthing new now?

Our dining room isn't a dining room anymore. Its floor to ceiling bookcases and a computer shoved in one corner. eah, we read a lot. Of course, there is next to the computer my altar table, which gets moved out for ritual, and my family altar on the wall hangs over the apothecary's chest where I stash all out witch stuff. The decor in that room, that's visible, is mostly asian. The big peice is a giant Jade ship that Jade brought back for Kitten from China. Its about three feet long and two feet hight. Its really pretty.

The kitchen is black and white with red accents. I decorated in vintage advertisements for alcohol originally, but lately we've added so many shelves and cabinets you can hardly see most of the walls, so the art has pretty well come down. The one piece left is really big, and hangs over the dining room table, which had a booth style bench on two sides and a pew-like bench on the other.

Our closet, which used to be Oscleots room, looks like a closet. Clothes on racks everywhere, conveniently located right next to the washer and dryer. Not that we ever put our clothes away.

As most of you know Kitten and I remodled our bedroom right before we got married. The walls are blue with pink polka dots and match one of our quilts. We actually have several quilts now, and we rotate them and our sheets based on the season. So only about half the year does our bedding match our walls. We don't mind.

So that's our house. The big parts anyway. I'd like to repaint our living room, althought I'm not sure I can talk Kitten into it. I think I'm going to tell her and Oscelot to go to Precious;s house for a couple days this spring and I'll tackle it by myself and get it done. I know they hate to mess with stuff like that. Otherwise, I like our little home, althought I'm already making out what i want to do for our house when we move.

For example, I want to do my new kitchen in vintage owls. I want the colors to be browns and golds and yellows and greens. I'll get my everyday dishes in gold color, like mustard. That way when I have dinner in my new dining room it will look okay with the heavy furniture, pale blues and light golds I've selected for the decor for the formal dining room. I want something a little french chateu and a little country estate. We'll see.

I know I want to continue the far eastern theme in the library, because I like the colors and the feeling of it. Besides, nothing facilitates imaginary travel like the setting of somewhere exitic and wild. I'll enjoy that. Also, I've got my eye on a Hindu wedding bed, and I want to fill it full of cushions so I can lay in it and read.

And at my house now, and aty the one we will buy in the future, I must insist, beyond all things- roses. I will have them all around me. I have tons of them now, and I will insist on having them all over my new home- climbing the walls and the arbors I will install, hanging over my trellises next to my back porch hot tub...and all throughout my back yard. They will surround my house in hedge form and sit beside my front door, just like my grandmother had when I was growing up. I want to go outside and walk through a fairy land. Roses, to me, are the fastest way to feel like I'm there.

So yeah, in case you were curious what it looks like in my home, there's a bit of an illustration for you. I'd take pictures...but you know, I'd have to clean for that.

What would you do with your dream home?

AGxx

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Running the gauntlet

I'm exhausted. Seriously. Work seems to keep taking the toll it always does, and I find myself more and more trying to find new sources of energy. Lookng within myself to find it is difficult. I'm not going to lie. I tried meditation this evening and could barely keep it up for ten minutes. There are so many things running through my head, it seems nearly impossible to focus on myself. The thing is, I know that's what I need to be doing.

In other news- the garden. Yeah, I think I might have mentioned, our new neighbors in the rental next to us, not such nice people. I think he's made an effort to annoy us. He's taken out one of my corner fences and not replaced it, mowed over my entire hedgerow (yeah, they're dead now) and he tried to mow over my Maria Stern rosebush. Annoyed. So I went and bought newer, fluffier hedges that he can't mow over without making a huge mess. I might have also put metal spikes into the ground under them, sticking up about three inches. If he mows my hedges down this time, its gonna kill his mower. I asked nicely for him to stop twice. I think that's more than enough warning. Three strikes, you're out. I also am the proud owner of five new rosebushes and a dawrf alberta spruce. My lawn is already looking lovelier. And the smell! Its amazing. I'm contemplating filling the whole of my flowerbeds with irises and roses. They smell gorgeous and I know I can get them to grow.

On the homefront, I had some great bonding time with some friends yesterday. Especially Sakura. I love that he and I have a beautiful connection. When it comes to the idea of teh "froup mind" in a coven, I definately understand it when it comes to he and I. I feel like we've connected in a really special way. He did a reading for me last night, and I appreciated it. I knew he would know my question the minute the reading was laid out, and honestly, I knew what the answer to my question was. The thing is, sometimes its hard to face reality. Sometimes its hard to let things go. And hearing it directly from the diety is the easiest way to cope with that. I know what path I need to take right now, regarding a very specific situation. Its been one I've struggled with a lot recently. Finding my footing has really helped me. I'm lucky to have someone as loving, compassionate and talented as a part of my coven.

I also reconnected with an old friend recently, and we got to spend some time together. He got to meet my partners. They love him. Keats (that's what we'll call him) is a really special person to me. I'm not entirely sure if even he remembers all of the favors he has done for me in the past. Suffice to say, having him come back into my life is a boon for me. And it started with a dream. I know, I know, I expound on the power of dreams frequently, but I think this is a great example of how well they work when you pay attention to them. I had a dream about him, so I made an effort to find him. Turns out, he'd been dreaming about me too. An odd "coincidence" when you think of the fact we haven't seen eachother in nearly three years and that we've both changed since the last time we saw eachother. I believe people come into you life for a reason. He reentered mine, and I'm looking forward to seeing what our relationship will bring. As an added benefit both the girls love him (knowing how gurded Kitten is, this is huge) I'm hoping he will become a frequent visitor in my household. He's intelligent, witty and amazingly empathetic. On top of that, he's funny as hell. I love it.

I'm a little frustrated at work right now. Our girls are playing a home bout in a couple of weeks. I asked off for the evening of the bout and the morning after today. Turns out, I'm the only regular supervisor going to be in town that weekend. It bites, because it means if I can't pull some serious strings, Kitten Oscelot and Sakura, with our other friends, will be attending while I am stuck at work. Its part of the new responsibility, I know, but it doesn't make it any less painful. I have my hopes one of our part-time managers will come through for me just for the saturday night. I'm willing to work an all day on no sleep if I have to, I just want to go an have a fun night with my friends.

We're going to get the tires for the truck tomorrow, which is great. It means we have the chance to try and go do something fun before the summer is over. I'm dying for a night out of town. I need a break, seriously. I feel so tired, both emotionally and physically, most mornings, I can barely stand it.

In other good news, I think I finally talked sense to my student loan people, and they realize that I can't pay them $320 a month on my loans. We've worked out a deal, which means that this time next year my loans will be out of default and I can get grants so I can go back to school. Its still a setback, but its better than I could have hoped at this point. My mom had offered to pay for my classes this semester, but I'll believe that when I see it. Hopefully, though, she'll coem through for me, and I can jump in with a class or two this semester. Of course, she doesn't normally come through, there's always something (not that I blame her, I wouldn't do that) but I will confess its another thing I've been sincerely praying for.

That's me, and my world, in a nutshell. I know I have some friends out tehre, lurking in blogland, that have a lot on their plates right now. The offer always stands, let me help you if I can. Even if its just that you need someone to email so you can bitch and get it off your chest. Let me be your pal. I know you are there for me when I need it.

Love you all.
AGxx

Ps- the lovely Gayle Moffet, in my sidebar, is getting ready to publish. She's seriously talented. check her out. Also, I made a mistake in her address, so click on the top of her blog to go to her homepage. I'm working on fixing that up. In the meantime, see what she's up to. Great lady.