If you recognize where the quote for my blog comes from today you're certainly 1) aware that it is not a song quote, per my usual habit 2) you've read a fair amount of dying declarations and 3) (I can always hope) might be John Green.
What's much more likely is that you have, like I have just done, read Looking for Alaska, by the aforementioned Mr Green and took some time to look at unusual dying declarations (Its okay, really, I needed another weird obsession, I really did.). Having read it, I assume you were just a broken and touched by it as I was.
Before I really branch out, I'd like to give one of those general, vague, spoiler free type reviews. Like so:
Pudge was a loser in high school. Well, his first two years anyway. Then he convinced his parents to send him to boarding school where he meets The Colonel, his roommate, and Alaska, who is- of course- the most beautiful, enigmatic, tragic and amazing woman he has ever known in his man-boy existence. And she changes everything.
I have to tell you, honestly, this book is a tear jerker. I'm not a crier either. Not normally. But this book, it had me in tears. I also devoured it in less than a day. Its a quick read that begs (and I will give in) to a slow, languorous re-read that allows you to swim- nay- wallow in the tidal wave of emotions this book will set off in the deeply closeted teenager that you hide inside yourself. Unless you're still a teenager and in that case OMG THE FEELS. JOHN GREEN TOTALLY GETS YOU. I'm not being condescending. Its the truth.
The book has a beautiful tone to it. It holds the odd beauty of a boarding school- that mystique most of us never understand but yearn for as teenagers. It reminds me in some ways of Curtis Stittenfeild's Prep, only in a lot less painfully self-involved way. The setting rings true, and I think both works take a lot of the glamour out of boarding school and its inhabitants. I think the characters are very real and I think the emotions are very accurate and true to life.
That said, I feel like John Green is much better capable of handling deep, visceral emotion and a lot of the questions that plague the lives of teenagers (and adults, let's face it) even when we're not really thinking that they're plaguing us. I think its that overreaching sense of omnipotence that Green, as a writer, really flourishes. The texture and depth is there, waiting to be discovered. Truly, whether you love the characters or you hate them or you chalk them up to tropes (seriously, I read a review like that and I couldn't believe it because these people lived in my mind, truly lived there, for the three hours I was reading it.) you can't escape the feeling that they are real.
Now. At the end of my edition John (can I call you John?) asks five questions of the reader and I have no one to discuss them with so I want to tell you (and him, if he's here) the answers.
1. Is forgiveness universal? I mean, is forgiveness really available to all people, no matter the circumstances? Is it, for instance, possible for the dead to forgive the living, and for the living to forgive the dead?
I think it is, in a way. I think that some of your characters would argue that we have to believe that because it is the only thing that gives us solace in this life. I think maybe they might discuss that (like Pudge argues) because matter, energy, and thus ourselves, cannot be unmade, that we are infinitely enfolded in our own and the forgiveness of others because we exist in a state of forgiving.
My answer is of course it is. I believe our souls are eternal, they exist without our bodies. It is our souls that hold the seat of our emotion and our wisdom (if not always our collected knowledge) and that is something that cannot be taken from us when we die. I think the dead forgive the living because the completion and perfection of not being non-corporeal (call it heaven, nirvana, the summerlands, whatever) prevents you from holding grudges. You are the universe, you have perfect wisdom, you've joined The Force. There is no room for anger any longer because you are perfect and infinite. I think as a living human forgiveness is a choice and our ability to forgive is a signal of our progression towards that perfection and one of the great challenges of our existence.
2. I would argue that in both fiction and in real life, teenage smoking is a symbolic action. What do you think it's intended to symbolize and what does it actually end up symbolizing? To phrase the question differently: Why would anyone every pay money in exchange for the opportunity to acquire lung cancer and/or emphysema?
Okay. This is an interesting one seeing as I started smoking at 15 and I quit just six months ago (for those of you unaware, I am in my thirties). I started, I suppose, because I could. Because people I thought to be like me did it. In a way, they were like me, and I don't know why they started so it might be a vicious cycle. For me, then, it had nothing to do with looking cool or taking a shot at the establishment or whatever- which is what it eventually ends up symbolizing. It just made sense and I didn't think much about it. I did quit for a while and then I started again and I think that really answers the second question, which is why I would do it knowing it harms me. The truth is, I like the flavor of tobacco. Not the horrible stuff, but the nice, imported kind you smoke in a hookah and is soft and sweet and has texture and flavors like wine or nice cheese. In the end, I weighed the health benefits and decided wine and nice cheese were less likely to kill me although only time will tell.
As to what it symbolizes in the book (which is what I think you're actually asking) I would say that it is a portrait of both the feeling of invincibility that teenagers feel and a shadowy foreboding of the pain and shadow that come with growing up and loss. Maybe that's why any teenager does it, in the end; its our one chance to take something grown up that we aren't ready for and control it.
But I will say this- I think the idea that we must avoid death at all costs is silly. Everyone dies. I don't think life is measured by length as much as it is by quality. Granted, a longer life means more opportunity for quality, but only if you make the best of it. I started smoking shisha while I was in Kuwait in 2005 on a truly once in a lifetime trip. The truth is me being gone from the US then (I was there for almost three weeks, I think) and the fallout from me being gone had long-lasting consequences in my life. When I arrived home I did not know it but my life was about to change dramatically and for almost four years, not for the better. But I'll tell you something- even if I had only smoked while on that trip and I would never smoke again and it killed me in the end, I would not change it. I wouldn't. Because eight years ago I was sitting on the Arabian Gulf with a handful of students I had just met, with a group of people I will never see again, at one of the largest TGI Friday's in the world (Who knew, right?) smoking shisha out of a pipe and listening to them laugh in Arabic though I didn't speak a stitch of it and I was having one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever known. And yes, I could have had that without the tobacco, but I would miss the soft and hazy, perfectly relaxed feeling of that memory- and it would lack the aftertaste of rich Egyptian tobacco if I hadn't. And that taste, that moment, and the scent of the gulf air and the taste of my terrible soda was the experience in my life that made me brave enough to survive what came after and aware enough of my own personal beauty to see I was something worth fighting for. When I die it will be one of a handful of moments in my life that I would not trade anything for. If death came for me tonight, it would be one of the things I loved about my life and I couldn't regret it- even if it was the cause.
That said- don't smoke, kids. Give yourself more chances for infinite perfection and happiness.
3. Do you like Alaska? Do you think its important to like people you read about?
Yes. I like Alaska. She's a great depiction of a teenage girl. I really believe that. Because I knew her, and I was her and I see her all the time. She's the depiction of beauty and enigma that lives in all females of a certain age. She is the kiss in the corner of Wendy's mouth.
That said; no, I don't think you have to like the people you read about. I think this is adult perspective creeping in, but I think a lot of important characters are like that. I think Holden Caufeild is a punk, but I get why he was and I know why that's important. Scout Finch was a smart-aleck brat. I liked her, but that's the truth. Lady McBeth was a whiner and a wimp but you can't have Out Spot Out without her crazy ass. I mean, look at the people we idolize now- Frank Sinatra beat his wife. Queen Elizabeth the first had a mercurial temper. Hell, look at all the celebrities who are dead that we idolize- Curt Kobain, Amy Winehouse, Corey Monteith, Marilyn Monroe- most of them were bad people. Unlikable people, but that's part of their charm. In Ken Keysey's One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest Randall McMurphy talks about the "average asshole on the street." all of us are that person- the average asshole- but that makes us no less deserving of love or interest, or no less lovable or interesting for that matter. I propose that's what makes us worth reading about. Alaska was an extraordinary "ordinary asshole" and I think that's why I (and everyone in the book) loved her.
Alright, kiddies, this is me tapping out because I have three other spaces to hit on the internet before I have to go to bed because I get up before the sun and its already way past my bedtime. John Green, you're costing me sleep, but you're worth it- you brilliant writer you. I have two more questions to answer tomorrow and those will be the ones with the spoilers.
For those of you who have read the book, what do you think? For those of you who haven't- go get it. Seriously.
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label books. Show all posts
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Friday, July 19, 2013
These Stories Don't Mean Anything If You've Got No One To Tell Them To
My love of books is something bordering on psychological disorder. Anyone who's seen my house can tell you that. Anyone who's ever looked at a picture of the inside of my home can tell you that. We have a joke in our home about how we used to have a dining room and then one day we woke up to discover that our table was in the kitchen, there was a library where the dining room had disappeared and the bookshelves were marching relentlessly towards the living room (which now has three bookshelves). If you do the math something like a full third of our wall space is covered by bookshelves. The number of books we have has a comma in it, and we acquire approximately 3-10 books a month. You might be able to accuse us of hoarding if it weren't for the fact that we actually read them.
I've also never made much of a secret of the fact that I'm a huge snob. Up until recent years I've sworn I'm a classics girl to the bone. I love Jane Austen on a rainy day. Some Dostoevsky or Tolstoy when I need an escape in the winter is perfect (given my obvious issues with spelling, would it horrify you to know I spelled Dostoevsky without the aid of spell check?). I recommend books like Gone with the Wind to my female friends. I insist that you can find entertainment in Tudor biographies. You can. Promise.
So up until now, well, recently, I was the kind of girl you could sit and have a cuppa with and I would be happy to discuss why certain British authors bore me (really, have you read Dickens?) or why I don't really care for most early American literature (trite) and how The Three Musketeers gets way too much credit for being Dumas' great work, when anyone with half a brain has read The Count of Monte Cristo and know better. I can even tell you which unabridged edition I prefer (the one with the introduction by Lorenzo Carcatera, he wrote Sleepers, by the way). What you couldn't do was ask me for a recommendation about a romance or fantasy series. I was useless there. Until about a year ago. When I quit my job and became a housewife.
I am always protesting that I actually do work pretty hard at the house, and I do. But the truth is, I've been trying to work on my writing as well. For some reason I can't recall, I decided I wanted to write a historical romance novel this year for NaNoWriMo. I think it was an inspiration that hit while we were at the Kansas City Renaissance Faire in October. I was sick of trying to write lesbian romances and literary fiction (not together, both are hard enough on their own) and so I thought I would branch out and try something new.
Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of experience with the field. So I got on my favorite networking site for writers and I asked some of the ladies (it really is mostly ladies) in the forum who their favorite authors were for historicals. I discovered Candace Camp and Eloisa James and Connie Brockway and Alexandra Hawkins and Tessa Dare and would you believe I got so wrapped up in those books I found it hard to write? Its intimidating. The women I listed? They're all college graduates. There's an Ivy Leaguer in there. Let me tell you, they aren't lacking in plot or detail or execution. They write brilliant female characters who love themselves and their bodies (and food, bless them!) and know what they want. They write women who won't take crap from men. They write stories I want to read. Two years ago I would have died rather than admit I read romance, because I didn't know any better. Now I'll freely admit I have one whole bookshelf stacked two deep full of romance novels. I also have several that have taken over Dean Koontz's bookshelf. Its okay, he was getting lonely.
One day right before we left on our trip (the dreaded trip...in which I did, in fact, stop to buy more books- five of them- because I had read the four I had brought along halfway into the trip) I was talking to Felix about books and we got on the topic of fantasy novels. Again, I found myself out of my depth. I've read Imajica (Clive Barker) and I loved it. Of course I've read Tolkien and Paolini and the Harry Potter series. Otherwise, I'm pretty useless- that's more Kitten's bag and she leans more towards SciFi. But then I remembered while we were talking a book I had checked out of the library at school when I was in 5th grade or so and I remembered liking it. All I could remember was the cover was red and there was a princess in a diamond box on the throne. That's right kids...The Diamond Throne, by David Eddings; the first book of the Elenium trilogy. I'm sure you know how this turned out. I read through it on the trip and was salivating for book 2 by the time we got home. I've finished that series and I'm going to start the Belgariad, which is supposed to be just as good. I've also agreed to start reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series with Swisslet and I'm truly excited about it because my buddies on Goodreads have all rated it as one of the best series they've ever read.
Speaking of Goodreads, I have no idea how I missed it before. Its like Facebook for literature nerds like me. I'm obsessed. You know what's funny? I look at the books on my shelves (on goodreads not in my house) and I almost feel bad there's not a wider genre representation on there. I've got tons of other stuff in my house. There's more to life than classics and non-fiction. And I'm learning. Slowly, but I'm learning.
Today is my literary liberation moment. I'm making my confessions boldly and proudly:
I love romance novels. Dashing rakes and silk ball gowns make me happy. I read fantasy and find it engaging and enriching. Yes, I did read Fifty Shades of Grey (it was just as awful as I thought it would be). No, I don't care if you judge me, I do own the Twilight series and I've read it enough times the spines on the books are cracked. Bite me, its a brilliant idea, however poorly edited or executed it might have been. I do read children's series and not just Potter. Johnathan Franzen is not god (even if I want him to be sometimes). There is nothing wrong with my tastes. I do not have to give up Austen just because I like Seth Graham Smyth's version of Pride and Prejudice. Urban Fantasy is actually a thing.
Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?
I don't care what you read, but read something y'all. Then tell me if its good. I'll read it too. After Swiss and I finish that series...(something like 17 books, you know that, right ST?)
AGxx
I've also never made much of a secret of the fact that I'm a huge snob. Up until recent years I've sworn I'm a classics girl to the bone. I love Jane Austen on a rainy day. Some Dostoevsky or Tolstoy when I need an escape in the winter is perfect (given my obvious issues with spelling, would it horrify you to know I spelled Dostoevsky without the aid of spell check?). I recommend books like Gone with the Wind to my female friends. I insist that you can find entertainment in Tudor biographies. You can. Promise.
So up until now, well, recently, I was the kind of girl you could sit and have a cuppa with and I would be happy to discuss why certain British authors bore me (really, have you read Dickens?) or why I don't really care for most early American literature (trite) and how The Three Musketeers gets way too much credit for being Dumas' great work, when anyone with half a brain has read The Count of Monte Cristo and know better. I can even tell you which unabridged edition I prefer (the one with the introduction by Lorenzo Carcatera, he wrote Sleepers, by the way). What you couldn't do was ask me for a recommendation about a romance or fantasy series. I was useless there. Until about a year ago. When I quit my job and became a housewife.
I am always protesting that I actually do work pretty hard at the house, and I do. But the truth is, I've been trying to work on my writing as well. For some reason I can't recall, I decided I wanted to write a historical romance novel this year for NaNoWriMo. I think it was an inspiration that hit while we were at the Kansas City Renaissance Faire in October. I was sick of trying to write lesbian romances and literary fiction (not together, both are hard enough on their own) and so I thought I would branch out and try something new.
Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of experience with the field. So I got on my favorite networking site for writers and I asked some of the ladies (it really is mostly ladies) in the forum who their favorite authors were for historicals. I discovered Candace Camp and Eloisa James and Connie Brockway and Alexandra Hawkins and Tessa Dare and would you believe I got so wrapped up in those books I found it hard to write? Its intimidating. The women I listed? They're all college graduates. There's an Ivy Leaguer in there. Let me tell you, they aren't lacking in plot or detail or execution. They write brilliant female characters who love themselves and their bodies (and food, bless them!) and know what they want. They write women who won't take crap from men. They write stories I want to read. Two years ago I would have died rather than admit I read romance, because I didn't know any better. Now I'll freely admit I have one whole bookshelf stacked two deep full of romance novels. I also have several that have taken over Dean Koontz's bookshelf. Its okay, he was getting lonely.
One day right before we left on our trip (the dreaded trip...in which I did, in fact, stop to buy more books- five of them- because I had read the four I had brought along halfway into the trip) I was talking to Felix about books and we got on the topic of fantasy novels. Again, I found myself out of my depth. I've read Imajica (Clive Barker) and I loved it. Of course I've read Tolkien and Paolini and the Harry Potter series. Otherwise, I'm pretty useless- that's more Kitten's bag and she leans more towards SciFi. But then I remembered while we were talking a book I had checked out of the library at school when I was in 5th grade or so and I remembered liking it. All I could remember was the cover was red and there was a princess in a diamond box on the throne. That's right kids...The Diamond Throne, by David Eddings; the first book of the Elenium trilogy. I'm sure you know how this turned out. I read through it on the trip and was salivating for book 2 by the time we got home. I've finished that series and I'm going to start the Belgariad, which is supposed to be just as good. I've also agreed to start reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series with Swisslet and I'm truly excited about it because my buddies on Goodreads have all rated it as one of the best series they've ever read.Speaking of Goodreads, I have no idea how I missed it before. Its like Facebook for literature nerds like me. I'm obsessed. You know what's funny? I look at the books on my shelves (on goodreads not in my house) and I almost feel bad there's not a wider genre representation on there. I've got tons of other stuff in my house. There's more to life than classics and non-fiction. And I'm learning. Slowly, but I'm learning.
Today is my literary liberation moment. I'm making my confessions boldly and proudly:
I love romance novels. Dashing rakes and silk ball gowns make me happy. I read fantasy and find it engaging and enriching. Yes, I did read Fifty Shades of Grey (it was just as awful as I thought it would be). No, I don't care if you judge me, I do own the Twilight series and I've read it enough times the spines on the books are cracked. Bite me, its a brilliant idea, however poorly edited or executed it might have been. I do read children's series and not just Potter. Johnathan Franzen is not god (even if I want him to be sometimes). There is nothing wrong with my tastes. I do not have to give up Austen just because I like Seth Graham Smyth's version of Pride and Prejudice. Urban Fantasy is actually a thing.
Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?
I don't care what you read, but read something y'all. Then tell me if its good. I'll read it too. After Swiss and I finish that series...(something like 17 books, you know that, right ST?)
AGxx
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Na Na Na Na Na Na YEAH!
Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a huge fan of Jane Austen. I've got copies, sometimes multiple ones, of all her works. I own all the DVD adaptations. I even have some of the fan work and mashups like Seth Graham Smith's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." If there's something out there that smacks of Austen, I've probably got it in my house somewhere.
Naturally, I'm a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice. Its my favorite work of hers, and I think its a brilliantly written novel. For me, there isn't much in this world that's as fun as cracking open my incredibly dog-eared copy of P&P and rereading the exploits of Elizabeth Bennet. I love her humor and wit. I love her mistakes and her ability to learn with humility. She's a great character.
About two or three months ago Sakura came over, and knowing I am a huge fan, he asked me if I had seen the new YouTube series based on P&P. I hadn't. Naturally, I was a little leery of an online adaptation of my favorite book. I thought there was no way that anyone could make the book as engaging on screen as it is in print. I love the movie adaptations, but none of them, up until now, really spoke to me.
The Lizzie Bennet Diaries has changed all of that.
This is Lizzie Bennet, and I'm a little bit in love.
The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is one of the most wonderful adaptations of any book I've ever seen. And I've seen plenty of them. Its part of why I am so critical of movie/screen adaptations of great books. They normally ruin the original. I loved Jurassic Park before I read the book. Gone with the Wind is a great movie, but it will never compare to the original writing. Even the recent adaptations of books like Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) and The Hunger Games (Susanne Collins), while wonderful, and really close to the original story, leave a sense of wanting when it comes to viewing versus reading. Not so with the fabulous LBD.
The whole premise of this adaptation is that Lizzie is a graduate student in Mass Communications and is doing a vlog about her life as part of her final project. I love this premise, because it gives the viewer, immediately, a solid reason as to why Lizzie would be recording the craziness of her life and family for all of mankind to view. After you deal with that idea (and its used well throughout the storyline- not just as a set-up for the series) you can dive right in to the awesomeness that is LBD.
The characters are amazing. I love how the creators of the show Bernie Su and Hank Green have managed to keep the show, despite the pantings of the fandom (and there's a surprisingly huge fandom) focused on Lizzie and in a more peripheral way, her family. This isn't about Lizzie and Darcy or about Jane and Bing Lee (great name, right?). The creators got it right- this video series is all about the girl making it. And as an added benefit, you get to see a wonderful cast pf characters, the ones you loved so much in the book, come to life in ways you never imagined.
I won't spoil what happens in the series for you, because I know you're going to trust my judgement of all things Austen and go check it out. You should, really. Even if you go on a marathon watch, you've only lost six hours, and really, that's like watching Lord of the Rings in its entirety. You can do it. But I will say this- it is seriously addictive. When I first picked up the channel on You Tube (you can click here to go there when you're done reading here) I watched the first few episodes, decided it was too much fun for the girls to miss out, so I stopped, waited for them to get home from work, and then spent the evening in front of the computer with them watching the series up until we ran out of videos. We skipped dinner, ordered pizza and ate in front of the television. That's huge in our house. The only other time we've done that was when we streamed election results this last November. From then on, the girls and I watch the newest updates as soon as we can. When the girls started missing some because life gets you busy sometimes, I started watching on my own. And then I discovered what geniuses the creators of the show really are.
There are tumblr accounts. There are twitter accounts. (Go to this page to get them all) Lydia has her own channel on YouTube. Charlotte's little sister has her own channel, too. Heck- Lydia's cat Kitty Bennet (see what they did there?) has its own Twitter account. Weeks before you even see some characters they start popping up on tumblr and twitter, they follow Lizzie's videos. Its amazing and intricate and smart. Pemberley has its own channel, twitter feed. It blows my mind the amount of time that they creators of the show spend working these little trans-media tidbits into the show. Last week there was a fandom explosion. I won't tell you what its about, I'll let you catch up on the series, but there were rumblings of what was going on in the comments on Lydia's channel days before the video that dropped the bomb was released. But if you don't read YouTube comments, you wouldn't know. I didn't. Until I heard. Until I went to find them myself. And I was mind-blown again. So mind-blown, in fact, that I immediately called Sakura to see if he had seen/heard it yet.
This is a series made to be enjoyed by an internet savvy generation. Can you just watch the LBD videos and enjoy the series? Oh, absolutely. They write it with those people in mind. But when you get down to brass tacks, there is so much more there for a person who lives on their computer. Like me. Like most of my friends. I've never experienced something like this- a form of entertainment that is so interactive and exciting. As an experience, its incredible. I get up every day and like the fan geek that I am, I check the channels, I check YouTube, twitter and tumblr. I check it throughout the day to see what's happening. I subscribed on Facebook. I'm obsessed- something no other adaptation has been able to do to me. Do I love the Hunger Games? Sure, but I don't check the fan sites. I lost the obsession with Potter like that days after it started. But for me, LBD is going about this the right way. I can't get enough.
What's even more amazing to me, is that the show's creators, the actors, the producers are all so open about what they do and why they do it. There's hangouts on YouTube and live chats via twitter and Facebook. The people who created the show listen to the playlists that fans make, they look at the fan art. They listen to the joys and sorrows of the fans. They think of things I would never have thought of...when Darcy asks Lizzie to the theater they actually know what's playing in SF at the moment of the airing, what's on in neighboring cities and they even have head cannon answers that make sense within the storyline, even if they aren't playing. The crazy thing is, you'll never know...it never comes up in the story. But they have that answer for you, just because you might ask. I love that.
Even if you don't care how revolutionary and wonderful the adaptation is, the story itself is enough to keep you happy. The execution is amazing. In a vlog, we know we won't see everyone...so how do you deal with that in an adaptation?
Meet Mrs and Mr. Bennet, as portrayed by Lizzie and her bff Charlotte. Its genius, right? The use of costume theater is an amazing idea, and one they use to great effect. Especially with Bing Lee, Darcy and Caroline, who you don't see on camera until much later in the series.
The dialog is fun. The lines are witty. And there is still an amazing amount of original Austen left in there, just in case you're a Janeite. The way the characters are developed and adapted for modern times is great. They're completely believable. The actors inhabit those characters completely. I've even seen on a behind the scenes video somewhere that the actors, for the most part, use their own clothes for the shoots. They are the character they play.
I can't recommend this series enough. I truly can't. But if you don't want to take my word for it, check out these articles about the series:
The Guardian calling it the best adaptation ever. Seriously.
Buzzfeed calling the series YouTube's hidden Masterpiece Theater
Mrs. Magazine discusses how great it is that the series is Lizzie centered here
Those are just a sampling from new sources (The Wall Street Journal even covered the show in January!)
Beyond my trying to convince all of you there's nothing better to watch than this series, I have to express the joy and admiration I feel every time I interact with this series. Yeah, yeah...maybe its just lonely housewife talk. Maybe I'm a huge geek. But in a world where I am increasingly irritated every time I open Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media platform I'm on it is simply wonderful to have something to look forward to. I like knowing that even though the war (its not a debate anymore) about gun control still rages online, even though I still get spammed with Jesus posts on Facebook, despite the fact that I can't get through a day without seeing some stupid, cryptic, passive aggressive post somewhere I can count on Lizzie and her world to make me smile. Even when the series gets dramatic (believe me, it does) there's something sadly real about it, something human, and it makes me relate a lot more than I do when I'm looking at my friends posting about how they need (another) new iPhone but are too broke to get it yet. Is that sad? Yeah, probably. But the truth is that the LBD has managed to create a show that taps in to the essence of what makes us human, fallible and ultimately lovable.
Have you ran into the LBD yet? What did you think? If you haven't, go check it out. Let me know how you feel. Even if you aren't an Austen fan, you'll thank me.
AGxx
Note- the title for this post is the last line of the outtro to Lydia's videos.
Second note- obviously I don't own any of the articles, photos or people I've mentioned. I do not work for the news sources I cited. My opinions are the only thing I possess.
Naturally, I'm a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice. Its my favorite work of hers, and I think its a brilliantly written novel. For me, there isn't much in this world that's as fun as cracking open my incredibly dog-eared copy of P&P and rereading the exploits of Elizabeth Bennet. I love her humor and wit. I love her mistakes and her ability to learn with humility. She's a great character.
About two or three months ago Sakura came over, and knowing I am a huge fan, he asked me if I had seen the new YouTube series based on P&P. I hadn't. Naturally, I was a little leery of an online adaptation of my favorite book. I thought there was no way that anyone could make the book as engaging on screen as it is in print. I love the movie adaptations, but none of them, up until now, really spoke to me.
The Lizzie Bennet Diaries has changed all of that.
This is Lizzie Bennet, and I'm a little bit in love.
The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is one of the most wonderful adaptations of any book I've ever seen. And I've seen plenty of them. Its part of why I am so critical of movie/screen adaptations of great books. They normally ruin the original. I loved Jurassic Park before I read the book. Gone with the Wind is a great movie, but it will never compare to the original writing. Even the recent adaptations of books like Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) and The Hunger Games (Susanne Collins), while wonderful, and really close to the original story, leave a sense of wanting when it comes to viewing versus reading. Not so with the fabulous LBD.
The whole premise of this adaptation is that Lizzie is a graduate student in Mass Communications and is doing a vlog about her life as part of her final project. I love this premise, because it gives the viewer, immediately, a solid reason as to why Lizzie would be recording the craziness of her life and family for all of mankind to view. After you deal with that idea (and its used well throughout the storyline- not just as a set-up for the series) you can dive right in to the awesomeness that is LBD.
The characters are amazing. I love how the creators of the show Bernie Su and Hank Green have managed to keep the show, despite the pantings of the fandom (and there's a surprisingly huge fandom) focused on Lizzie and in a more peripheral way, her family. This isn't about Lizzie and Darcy or about Jane and Bing Lee (great name, right?). The creators got it right- this video series is all about the girl making it. And as an added benefit, you get to see a wonderful cast pf characters, the ones you loved so much in the book, come to life in ways you never imagined.
I won't spoil what happens in the series for you, because I know you're going to trust my judgement of all things Austen and go check it out. You should, really. Even if you go on a marathon watch, you've only lost six hours, and really, that's like watching Lord of the Rings in its entirety. You can do it. But I will say this- it is seriously addictive. When I first picked up the channel on You Tube (you can click here to go there when you're done reading here) I watched the first few episodes, decided it was too much fun for the girls to miss out, so I stopped, waited for them to get home from work, and then spent the evening in front of the computer with them watching the series up until we ran out of videos. We skipped dinner, ordered pizza and ate in front of the television. That's huge in our house. The only other time we've done that was when we streamed election results this last November. From then on, the girls and I watch the newest updates as soon as we can. When the girls started missing some because life gets you busy sometimes, I started watching on my own. And then I discovered what geniuses the creators of the show really are.
There are tumblr accounts. There are twitter accounts. (Go to this page to get them all) Lydia has her own channel on YouTube. Charlotte's little sister has her own channel, too. Heck- Lydia's cat Kitty Bennet (see what they did there?) has its own Twitter account. Weeks before you even see some characters they start popping up on tumblr and twitter, they follow Lizzie's videos. Its amazing and intricate and smart. Pemberley has its own channel, twitter feed. It blows my mind the amount of time that they creators of the show spend working these little trans-media tidbits into the show. Last week there was a fandom explosion. I won't tell you what its about, I'll let you catch up on the series, but there were rumblings of what was going on in the comments on Lydia's channel days before the video that dropped the bomb was released. But if you don't read YouTube comments, you wouldn't know. I didn't. Until I heard. Until I went to find them myself. And I was mind-blown again. So mind-blown, in fact, that I immediately called Sakura to see if he had seen/heard it yet.
This is a series made to be enjoyed by an internet savvy generation. Can you just watch the LBD videos and enjoy the series? Oh, absolutely. They write it with those people in mind. But when you get down to brass tacks, there is so much more there for a person who lives on their computer. Like me. Like most of my friends. I've never experienced something like this- a form of entertainment that is so interactive and exciting. As an experience, its incredible. I get up every day and like the fan geek that I am, I check the channels, I check YouTube, twitter and tumblr. I check it throughout the day to see what's happening. I subscribed on Facebook. I'm obsessed- something no other adaptation has been able to do to me. Do I love the Hunger Games? Sure, but I don't check the fan sites. I lost the obsession with Potter like that days after it started. But for me, LBD is going about this the right way. I can't get enough.
What's even more amazing to me, is that the show's creators, the actors, the producers are all so open about what they do and why they do it. There's hangouts on YouTube and live chats via twitter and Facebook. The people who created the show listen to the playlists that fans make, they look at the fan art. They listen to the joys and sorrows of the fans. They think of things I would never have thought of...when Darcy asks Lizzie to the theater they actually know what's playing in SF at the moment of the airing, what's on in neighboring cities and they even have head cannon answers that make sense within the storyline, even if they aren't playing. The crazy thing is, you'll never know...it never comes up in the story. But they have that answer for you, just because you might ask. I love that.
Even if you don't care how revolutionary and wonderful the adaptation is, the story itself is enough to keep you happy. The execution is amazing. In a vlog, we know we won't see everyone...so how do you deal with that in an adaptation?
Meet Mrs and Mr. Bennet, as portrayed by Lizzie and her bff Charlotte. Its genius, right? The use of costume theater is an amazing idea, and one they use to great effect. Especially with Bing Lee, Darcy and Caroline, who you don't see on camera until much later in the series.
The dialog is fun. The lines are witty. And there is still an amazing amount of original Austen left in there, just in case you're a Janeite. The way the characters are developed and adapted for modern times is great. They're completely believable. The actors inhabit those characters completely. I've even seen on a behind the scenes video somewhere that the actors, for the most part, use their own clothes for the shoots. They are the character they play.
I can't recommend this series enough. I truly can't. But if you don't want to take my word for it, check out these articles about the series:
The Guardian calling it the best adaptation ever. Seriously.
Buzzfeed calling the series YouTube's hidden Masterpiece Theater
Mrs. Magazine discusses how great it is that the series is Lizzie centered here
Those are just a sampling from new sources (The Wall Street Journal even covered the show in January!)
Beyond my trying to convince all of you there's nothing better to watch than this series, I have to express the joy and admiration I feel every time I interact with this series. Yeah, yeah...maybe its just lonely housewife talk. Maybe I'm a huge geek. But in a world where I am increasingly irritated every time I open Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media platform I'm on it is simply wonderful to have something to look forward to. I like knowing that even though the war (its not a debate anymore) about gun control still rages online, even though I still get spammed with Jesus posts on Facebook, despite the fact that I can't get through a day without seeing some stupid, cryptic, passive aggressive post somewhere I can count on Lizzie and her world to make me smile. Even when the series gets dramatic (believe me, it does) there's something sadly real about it, something human, and it makes me relate a lot more than I do when I'm looking at my friends posting about how they need (another) new iPhone but are too broke to get it yet. Is that sad? Yeah, probably. But the truth is that the LBD has managed to create a show that taps in to the essence of what makes us human, fallible and ultimately lovable.
Have you ran into the LBD yet? What did you think? If you haven't, go check it out. Let me know how you feel. Even if you aren't an Austen fan, you'll thank me.
AGxx
Note- the title for this post is the last line of the outtro to Lydia's videos.
Second note- obviously I don't own any of the articles, photos or people I've mentioned. I do not work for the news sources I cited. My opinions are the only thing I possess.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It Must Be True, I Read It In The Daily Mail
As a writer and avid reader I am always interested in how people (and media) view the literary world. Most of the people who know me as a writer and reader know that I read a lot of reviews, that I am pretty in touch with the literary community at large. There isn't a whole lot that surprises me anymore. However, this article by The UK Daily Mail really threw me for a loop.
Now, because I am all about source material, I suggest you take a moment to read it. Go on. I'll wait. Back? Sweet. For those of you who know that I'm going to surmise the article and didn't read it- bravo. It says, in essence, that there is a disturbing trend in Young Adult (YA) literature of books that involve harsh and realistic situations in teen life-- suicide, self-harm, terminal illness, etc. It further says that these books have a harmful effect on their readers, that children will read them and be emotionally damaged by them. Not only that, but they are more likely to engage in self-harm, suicide attempts and inappropriate sexual behaviors. It cites several young adult books, though the two most often referenced are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It is a cautionary style article that almost reads as an open letter to parents and educators warning of the dangers of what they call "sick lit." Let your kids read this, it says, and they'll turn in to sexual deviants, drug users, cutters- they'll even try to kill themselves. Stuff like this, they say, is just too depressing. Especially since these books are being marketed to12 year olds.
I completely disagree with this article. Completely and whole-heartedly. In part, I think this sort of opinion treats young adults as though they are stupid, mindless lemmings. The idea that just because a teen reads about a character committing suicide means they'll want to is silly. Give the kids some credit. While you're handing out that credit, give them some for being able to handle emotionally difficult situations. By the time you are twelve you've likely had some sort of real-life experience dealing with grief, suffering, unhappiness, sex, poverty or low self-esteem. They know what sex is. They know what cancer is. If they've even caught a glimpse of the television they know there are bad things in the world. They aren't morons. Young people are usually far more observant that adults give them credit for. Moreover, I think there's been some sort of disconnect, because I don't know that they're technically paying attention to the difference between Middle Grade literature, YA12+ literature and YA14+ literature, all of which have very different content.
Laying those things aside, though, I'd like to know why it is the Daily Mail feels that other YA books might be preferable to the ones they object to because they are too "real life" for the kids to handle? I think there's a strong argument to be made, using their logic, that you shouldn't let children read at all. Let's work with this theory that kids are gullible and they can be emotionally damaged by what they read. Let's also agree they might choose to act out in a particular manner because they identify with a character. Running with these assumptions, lets look at other popular YA books and see how they might affect the children.
Let's just jump in with the most obvious. Harry Potter (JK Rowling). Great, intelligent, healthy books- right? Heavens no. Harry Potter teaches children to subvert authority. Harry, Hermione and Ron are constantly breaking rules and disrespecting authority figures and they are constantly rewarded for it. It teaches them that its okay to do bad things if your parents do it too. Draco Malfoy makes out like a bandit at the end of the series, no nevermind that he's responsible for the deaths of several people, the mauling of Bill Weasley and any other number of bad things that happen throughout the books. It teaches our kids that smart people like Hermione, Luna and Ginny are really only worth having around if you can get something out of them or if they're good looking. What's that you say? Harry Potter teaches kids witchcraft? Oh, well, let's just abandon them for something more suitable.
How about Twilight? (Stephanie Meyer) That's a popular YA book. Here's a nice healthy love story about a girl who falls for a good looking guy. She likes him even though he treats her like crap. She likes him even though he's emotionally manipulative and controlling. We'll just ignore the fact that he wants to kill her at first. Or that he's almost 100 years older than her. Or that he's dead. Barring those things, Twilight also teaches us that it is okay to lie to our parents. They're probably overbearing- what with the caring about us and wanting us to be safe and all. It teaches us that it is okay to take unnecessary and stupid risks for the people we love, especially when they've done something stupid that puts their life in danger. Moreover, it teaches us that if the boy/girl we like doesn't like us back, or dumps us, its okay to act like life is over. I mean, there's nothing to life as a teenager outside of having a boy/girlfriend. Right? And those people who actually love you, who want to take care of you, who want to make you feel like you're the most special person ever? Screw them. They don't understand who you really are. Oh, you don't like Twilight either? Too much vampire and werewolf action? Let's move on then.
How about The Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins)? Now there is a cultural phenomenon. I hear a lot of schools are assigning it to their students to read. Well, they shouldn't. First off, this is a post-democracy North America. We should never suggest to teenagers that there might come a time when democracy is not the accepted world-wide governing standard. Also, this book is set after ice-caps melt and nuclear weapons have been used. That's too upsetting to the kids. We don't want them to think about the social or political or environmental consequences of their actions. That's too upsetting for them. Worse, this is a book where kids kill other kids. Yes, I am aware that the main characters will die if they don't kill the other kids. It doesn't matter. Killing is wrong and they should take the high road. Reading this will cause children to think it is acceptable to kill people. Worse, it will breed in them the desire to use weapons. It will. What's worse, one of the heroes (Haymich) is an alcoholic. It glorifies drinking. And it paints an undesirable picture of people who want to live in comfort, and who care about fads and fashion. These books clearly are trying to impart socialist lessons that are anti-consumer culture. We can't have that. This book also blatantly glorifies sexuality. Katniss and two different boys kiss. Sometimes more than once. And Katniss and Peeta sleep together in the same bed, even. The end of the series is also wildly inappropriate. All of that death and war is upsetting, and Katniss being medicated with the future equivalent of Morphine tells children its okay to use drugs, even prescription ones, to deal with depression. They will eventually draw the conclusion that using drugs for other purposes is okay. Didn't you see how they painted the morphlings from District 6 in a completely sympathetic light?
Perhaps the problem with these books is that they're too recent. We should address the classics we read when we were growing up. There was nothing upsetting in those books. I mean, nothing that would scar a child like these current ones do...
Except that the March girls in Little Women (Alcott) are poor. And Beth dies. And several times in the book its rather implied that they're on the brink of starvation. In Hiedi (Spyri) one of the main characters is a cripple. Ditto The Secret Garden (Hodgeson-Burnett). On top of that, it teaches children its okay to be brats if you're ill or you've had bad things happen to you. Good lord, A Little Princess (also by Burnett) teaches children that if you're smart and good and well behaved and rich you'll be well loved, but that if you are smart and good and well behaved and poor you'll be mistreated and you'll live an unhappy life because of it. Woodsong (Paulsen) is far too graphic with animal violence and only teaches children escapism- what kind of person actually lives in the woods and raises dogs for sled racing? No normal person. You definitely can't let them read fairy tales. Not the real ones! They're graphic, violent and full of inappropriate language and witchcraft and such. I'd tell you to let them see the clean, Disney versions of them, but since Disney loves gay people, we can't have that either.
Yes, indeed, children's literature is clearly unhealthy. What we really need is to get back to good old-fashioned morals. Children should read the Bible. After all, the Bible has no graphic violence, sexism, racism, or blatant sexuality. Nope, none at all. Wait- what? It does? Well, hell.
I think its clear, then, what has to be done. We can't let children read anymore. Nope. Can't do it. If we do there's no getting around it, our children will be damaged. Or so goes the logic of the UK Daily Mail.
Honestly, I read a lot as a child. Not just the books I mentioned (well, the classics, the others hadn't been published yet.) but many others. I wasn't scarred by The Goosebumps books(Stein). Sweet Valley High (Pascal) had no effect on my burgeoning sexuality or my self esteem. I was not irreparably damaged when I read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Schwartz). The Boxcar Children (Warner) didn't make me want to run away. The first time I stumbled across a romance novel at 13 I didn't immediately run out and have sex. I wasn't scarred by the trials and tribulations of Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House series. Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew made me no more nosy than I already was. James and The Giant Peach (Dahl) didn't cause me to cuss, or want to run away, it didn't make me afraid of bugs. Honestly the only effect that book had on me at the time was a propensity to try a rhyme all of my words and sing like the bugs. By the time I was in 4th grade I was checking out books from the Jr. High side of my school's library. I remained unscathed. As I got older I branched into more adult, more graphic books. I've survived all of those as well.
Here's the thing, children are generally aware of the world around them. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you. Its amazing what they learn, what they absorb and their capacity for compassion, love and internalizing the life lessons that books like the ones I mentioned teach. Literature is a tool in which writers reach out to the world. Sometimes it is to make a connection, to teach a lesson or to share an experience. But all of those reasons contribute to our world view as we read. All of them give us the ability to live through others, to experience that which might never happen to us, or give us the opportunity to see that we are never quite as alone in our trials and sufferings as we think we are.
As a child, books were one of my greatest companions. I came from a broken home. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother, bless her, worked all the time to support us and was often from home. By the time I was the age of a YA14+ reader I knew all about terminal illnesses, death, sexual abuse and poverty. I'd seen through other school mates first hand what drugs, violence and alienation could do to a person. I knew what it was like to be poor, a little strange, and unpopular. Through all of this, though, I read. And I read. And I read. I was in seventh grade the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee). As a 13 year old girl it didn't horrify me, or hurt me or scare me. It spoke to me, in a way I could hardly express. A year after I read Oliver Twist (Dickens) and the violence, poverty and sadness in that book hurt me no more than any other book I read.
What I discovered as I read was that I was not alone in the great human experience. I was not the only one who had felt the things I was feeling. I found comfort. I found acceptance. I found peace reading those books. That, to me, makes every word I read during that time worthwhile.
It is my sincere hope that people will not take this article to heart. What I do hope happens is that parents, teachers and other adults become more aware of the widespread and positive experience that literature can provide. That they realize that their young adults can relate to these works and that they should be not only encouraging them to read, but encouraging them to discuss what they're reading and how it makes them feel. Maybe, just maybe, if we take the time to do that we will emerge with a well-read, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted generation who can reflect well on their place in the world, and how they are connected to it at large.
We can hope, right?
I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts.
Keep Reading.
AGxx
A note and disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the books I mentioned. I did not write them. That is why I put the authors' names in for you. Additionally, I would encourage you to read any or all of these books if you can. Most of them are great works of literature, and I am proud to have read them. Also, in case you had not caught the tenor of my arguments, I actually quite like most of the books I mentioned.
Also, the title comes from a lyric from The Daily Mail song, which was John Greene's only response to the article. Having followed the link, I can only suggest you do so as well. Its worth a good laugh, anyway.
Now, because I am all about source material, I suggest you take a moment to read it. Go on. I'll wait. Back? Sweet. For those of you who know that I'm going to surmise the article and didn't read it- bravo. It says, in essence, that there is a disturbing trend in Young Adult (YA) literature of books that involve harsh and realistic situations in teen life-- suicide, self-harm, terminal illness, etc. It further says that these books have a harmful effect on their readers, that children will read them and be emotionally damaged by them. Not only that, but they are more likely to engage in self-harm, suicide attempts and inappropriate sexual behaviors. It cites several young adult books, though the two most often referenced are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It is a cautionary style article that almost reads as an open letter to parents and educators warning of the dangers of what they call "sick lit." Let your kids read this, it says, and they'll turn in to sexual deviants, drug users, cutters- they'll even try to kill themselves. Stuff like this, they say, is just too depressing. Especially since these books are being marketed to12 year olds.
I completely disagree with this article. Completely and whole-heartedly. In part, I think this sort of opinion treats young adults as though they are stupid, mindless lemmings. The idea that just because a teen reads about a character committing suicide means they'll want to is silly. Give the kids some credit. While you're handing out that credit, give them some for being able to handle emotionally difficult situations. By the time you are twelve you've likely had some sort of real-life experience dealing with grief, suffering, unhappiness, sex, poverty or low self-esteem. They know what sex is. They know what cancer is. If they've even caught a glimpse of the television they know there are bad things in the world. They aren't morons. Young people are usually far more observant that adults give them credit for. Moreover, I think there's been some sort of disconnect, because I don't know that they're technically paying attention to the difference between Middle Grade literature, YA12+ literature and YA14+ literature, all of which have very different content.
Laying those things aside, though, I'd like to know why it is the Daily Mail feels that other YA books might be preferable to the ones they object to because they are too "real life" for the kids to handle? I think there's a strong argument to be made, using their logic, that you shouldn't let children read at all. Let's work with this theory that kids are gullible and they can be emotionally damaged by what they read. Let's also agree they might choose to act out in a particular manner because they identify with a character. Running with these assumptions, lets look at other popular YA books and see how they might affect the children.
Let's just jump in with the most obvious. Harry Potter (JK Rowling). Great, intelligent, healthy books- right? Heavens no. Harry Potter teaches children to subvert authority. Harry, Hermione and Ron are constantly breaking rules and disrespecting authority figures and they are constantly rewarded for it. It teaches them that its okay to do bad things if your parents do it too. Draco Malfoy makes out like a bandit at the end of the series, no nevermind that he's responsible for the deaths of several people, the mauling of Bill Weasley and any other number of bad things that happen throughout the books. It teaches our kids that smart people like Hermione, Luna and Ginny are really only worth having around if you can get something out of them or if they're good looking. What's that you say? Harry Potter teaches kids witchcraft? Oh, well, let's just abandon them for something more suitable.
How about Twilight? (Stephanie Meyer) That's a popular YA book. Here's a nice healthy love story about a girl who falls for a good looking guy. She likes him even though he treats her like crap. She likes him even though he's emotionally manipulative and controlling. We'll just ignore the fact that he wants to kill her at first. Or that he's almost 100 years older than her. Or that he's dead. Barring those things, Twilight also teaches us that it is okay to lie to our parents. They're probably overbearing- what with the caring about us and wanting us to be safe and all. It teaches us that it is okay to take unnecessary and stupid risks for the people we love, especially when they've done something stupid that puts their life in danger. Moreover, it teaches us that if the boy/girl we like doesn't like us back, or dumps us, its okay to act like life is over. I mean, there's nothing to life as a teenager outside of having a boy/girlfriend. Right? And those people who actually love you, who want to take care of you, who want to make you feel like you're the most special person ever? Screw them. They don't understand who you really are. Oh, you don't like Twilight either? Too much vampire and werewolf action? Let's move on then.
How about The Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins)? Now there is a cultural phenomenon. I hear a lot of schools are assigning it to their students to read. Well, they shouldn't. First off, this is a post-democracy North America. We should never suggest to teenagers that there might come a time when democracy is not the accepted world-wide governing standard. Also, this book is set after ice-caps melt and nuclear weapons have been used. That's too upsetting to the kids. We don't want them to think about the social or political or environmental consequences of their actions. That's too upsetting for them. Worse, this is a book where kids kill other kids. Yes, I am aware that the main characters will die if they don't kill the other kids. It doesn't matter. Killing is wrong and they should take the high road. Reading this will cause children to think it is acceptable to kill people. Worse, it will breed in them the desire to use weapons. It will. What's worse, one of the heroes (Haymich) is an alcoholic. It glorifies drinking. And it paints an undesirable picture of people who want to live in comfort, and who care about fads and fashion. These books clearly are trying to impart socialist lessons that are anti-consumer culture. We can't have that. This book also blatantly glorifies sexuality. Katniss and two different boys kiss. Sometimes more than once. And Katniss and Peeta sleep together in the same bed, even. The end of the series is also wildly inappropriate. All of that death and war is upsetting, and Katniss being medicated with the future equivalent of Morphine tells children its okay to use drugs, even prescription ones, to deal with depression. They will eventually draw the conclusion that using drugs for other purposes is okay. Didn't you see how they painted the morphlings from District 6 in a completely sympathetic light?
Perhaps the problem with these books is that they're too recent. We should address the classics we read when we were growing up. There was nothing upsetting in those books. I mean, nothing that would scar a child like these current ones do...
Except that the March girls in Little Women (Alcott) are poor. And Beth dies. And several times in the book its rather implied that they're on the brink of starvation. In Hiedi (Spyri) one of the main characters is a cripple. Ditto The Secret Garden (Hodgeson-Burnett). On top of that, it teaches children its okay to be brats if you're ill or you've had bad things happen to you. Good lord, A Little Princess (also by Burnett) teaches children that if you're smart and good and well behaved and rich you'll be well loved, but that if you are smart and good and well behaved and poor you'll be mistreated and you'll live an unhappy life because of it. Woodsong (Paulsen) is far too graphic with animal violence and only teaches children escapism- what kind of person actually lives in the woods and raises dogs for sled racing? No normal person. You definitely can't let them read fairy tales. Not the real ones! They're graphic, violent and full of inappropriate language and witchcraft and such. I'd tell you to let them see the clean, Disney versions of them, but since Disney loves gay people, we can't have that either.
Yes, indeed, children's literature is clearly unhealthy. What we really need is to get back to good old-fashioned morals. Children should read the Bible. After all, the Bible has no graphic violence, sexism, racism, or blatant sexuality. Nope, none at all. Wait- what? It does? Well, hell.
I think its clear, then, what has to be done. We can't let children read anymore. Nope. Can't do it. If we do there's no getting around it, our children will be damaged. Or so goes the logic of the UK Daily Mail.
Honestly, I read a lot as a child. Not just the books I mentioned (well, the classics, the others hadn't been published yet.) but many others. I wasn't scarred by The Goosebumps books(Stein). Sweet Valley High (Pascal) had no effect on my burgeoning sexuality or my self esteem. I was not irreparably damaged when I read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Schwartz). The Boxcar Children (Warner) didn't make me want to run away. The first time I stumbled across a romance novel at 13 I didn't immediately run out and have sex. I wasn't scarred by the trials and tribulations of Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House series. Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew made me no more nosy than I already was. James and The Giant Peach (Dahl) didn't cause me to cuss, or want to run away, it didn't make me afraid of bugs. Honestly the only effect that book had on me at the time was a propensity to try a rhyme all of my words and sing like the bugs. By the time I was in 4th grade I was checking out books from the Jr. High side of my school's library. I remained unscathed. As I got older I branched into more adult, more graphic books. I've survived all of those as well.
Here's the thing, children are generally aware of the world around them. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you. Its amazing what they learn, what they absorb and their capacity for compassion, love and internalizing the life lessons that books like the ones I mentioned teach. Literature is a tool in which writers reach out to the world. Sometimes it is to make a connection, to teach a lesson or to share an experience. But all of those reasons contribute to our world view as we read. All of them give us the ability to live through others, to experience that which might never happen to us, or give us the opportunity to see that we are never quite as alone in our trials and sufferings as we think we are.
As a child, books were one of my greatest companions. I came from a broken home. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother, bless her, worked all the time to support us and was often from home. By the time I was the age of a YA14+ reader I knew all about terminal illnesses, death, sexual abuse and poverty. I'd seen through other school mates first hand what drugs, violence and alienation could do to a person. I knew what it was like to be poor, a little strange, and unpopular. Through all of this, though, I read. And I read. And I read. I was in seventh grade the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee). As a 13 year old girl it didn't horrify me, or hurt me or scare me. It spoke to me, in a way I could hardly express. A year after I read Oliver Twist (Dickens) and the violence, poverty and sadness in that book hurt me no more than any other book I read.
What I discovered as I read was that I was not alone in the great human experience. I was not the only one who had felt the things I was feeling. I found comfort. I found acceptance. I found peace reading those books. That, to me, makes every word I read during that time worthwhile.
It is my sincere hope that people will not take this article to heart. What I do hope happens is that parents, teachers and other adults become more aware of the widespread and positive experience that literature can provide. That they realize that their young adults can relate to these works and that they should be not only encouraging them to read, but encouraging them to discuss what they're reading and how it makes them feel. Maybe, just maybe, if we take the time to do that we will emerge with a well-read, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted generation who can reflect well on their place in the world, and how they are connected to it at large.
We can hope, right?
I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts.
Keep Reading.
AGxx
A note and disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the books I mentioned. I did not write them. That is why I put the authors' names in for you. Additionally, I would encourage you to read any or all of these books if you can. Most of them are great works of literature, and I am proud to have read them. Also, in case you had not caught the tenor of my arguments, I actually quite like most of the books I mentioned.
Also, the title comes from a lyric from The Daily Mail song, which was John Greene's only response to the article. Having followed the link, I can only suggest you do so as well. Its worth a good laugh, anyway.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
If God Had A Face, What Would It Look Like?
I can say without doubt that this post is of the complete opposite tenor of my previous one, but there you have it.
I've been doing more reading this week on Wicca and the history of Wicca. I've also spent much more time looking at older traditions of my religion, including Gardenarian and Alexandrian Wicca. I have to say, its really not to my tastes, and its given me a completely new perspective on my religion as a whole.
I have to first say, in all honesty, I truly believe there is no such thing as one right path, even in Wicca. I think that spirituality is something that is fluid and has to relate to the person who is practicing that particular form of spirituality. When I blog, in the following, that I don't particularly care for something, it isn't me saying it is wrong, only that it doesn't resonate for me. This does not mean I feel the people who use such practices should change, or that they are bad, or anything like that. It only means I relate differently. I still respect the founders of these traditions because they have done much for my religion as a whole, and their contributions are both large and valuable.
Rather than boring you with a history lesson, I will instead direct you to information concerning Gardinarian Wicca and Alexandrian Wicca. Feel free to read up, it will give you a much better idea of where I am coming from with regard to my thoughts. In fact, it might also give you a good background to look into Janet and Stewart Ferrar as well, as most of my thoughts have come from reading their excellent books on witchcraft: The Witches' Bible, The Witches' God, and The Witches' Goddess. They are wonderful, well written, informative books. If you are interested in learning more about the general history of Wicca, both in its more ancient forms and in its modern incarnations, I would suggest reading Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler, an excellent journalist and practicing pagan.
I will also add, in case you've missed any of my other posts about wicca, that I (along with Sakura, Kitten and Oscelot) am a tradition head for a new form of wicca. Or I should say, if my coven ever hives, I will be. A tradition head simply means that I have founded my own coven and that I (and by I, I mean our group) have created an eclectic coven that operates on its own principles and beliefs within the Wiccan framework. Should, and I hope it does, our coven ever grow past 13 members it will "hive" or split off from the original coven, practicing under new leadership the same things the current coven does, acting as a "daughter coven" which would relate to the older, original coven. The hope is, of course, to have several hives, and a large group of practitioners that relate to your particular brand of wicca because it brings them joy and comfort.
That said, I've had a lot of food for thought in the last couple of days. Part of this is a direct result of reading these books and becoming more intimately acquainted with the particulars of Gardenarian and Alexandrian rituals and coven practice. They really aren't my style. Part of that is that there is a certain ancientness and solemnity surrounding their ritual. Part of it is that it is very solid, there is no change. The ritual for Beltane, for example, is the same every year, and so on for all of the holidays. That, also, is not to my tastes. There is also a certain...I don't know...feel you get from the books I've been reading that while we are all very open about agreeing there is no one right path, the authors of the book feel that if there were one right path to be chosen, it would be theirs. It almost borders on dogma.
As you know, I am a very take it or leave it kind of person. Whenever we have people approach us about joining the coven or wanting to know more about it, I am very open about our ideas and practices. If they like what they hear, we can talk further. If they don't, well, I appreciate their time and we all move on with no hard feelings. I don't believe there is room for dogma in any reasonable religion, because you have to be concerned with other things. I don't have time to fight about whether I am right or wrong, I only need to know that I and my coven feel right about our practice. That has to be enough. We have other things to think about- like living good lives, and playing by the rules, etc. I'm all for theological discussion, but I am not into argument. I don't have the energy for it. Two people can be philosophically very different and agree to respect each others opinion even when they don't see eye to eye.
There was one passage in particular very early in the book (The Witch's Bible) which in specific gave me that impression:
"Interestingly, what Doreen Valiente has done for Gardenarian Wicca in Witchcraft for Tomorrow, Raymond Buckland has done for another tradition, Saxon Wicca, in The Tree, The Complete Book of Saxon Witchcraft. That, too, includes a simple but comprehensive Book of Shadows and procedures for self-initiation and the founding of your own coven. We found many of the rituals in The Tree admirable, though we were less happy about its eight Festival rites, which are even scantier than in the Gardinarian Book of Shadows, and amount to little more than brief spoken declamations; they are based on the idea that the Goddess rules the summer, from Beltaine to Samhain, and the God the winter, from Damhain to Beltaine- a concept to which we cannot attune ourselves. Persephone, who withdraws to the underworld in winter, is only one aspect of the Goddess- a fact which her legend emphasizes by making her the daughter of the Great Mother.
However, to each his own; it is presumptuous to be too dogmatic, from the outside, about other traditions of the Craft. What matters is that anyone who wants to follow the Wiccan path but cannot get in touch with an established coven, now has two valid Wiccan traditions open to him in published form." (The Witches' Bible, p.29)
To me, this passage gave the impression that because the Saxon tradition chose to focus on Persephone as an archetype, and that wasn't really the authors' thing, that they were probably wrong. I wasn't a fan of the phrase "Too dogmatic from the outside" because I don't think you should be too dogmatic at all. It seems as though its maybe more acceptable to them to badmouth other traditions only within the privacy of the coven circle. It goes, to me, directly against one of the basic laws of the Craft "do not gossip or speak evil of other witches." Maybe I'm wrong there. I could be.
Anyway, with that at the outset of my studying, I felt a little unsettled with the book, and wondered how I would feel in relation to their other ideas. I won't bore you with a chapter by chapter analysis of the book, you can read it if you want to. I will say that I did enjoy looking at the basic rituals for all of the holidays, and for how they are relevant to them.
It was not for me.
I believe, very firmly, that wicca is an experiential religion. I think that interaction with god (and by god I of course mean the god, goddess or great spirit, The All, or however you express divinity) is something that is personal and has to relate directly to you. I think there are things that make less sense as a modern witch in some of these traditions than they would if we were still living at the turn of the century. Do I believe that god has existed since before time, is ancient and ageless and perfect? Yep, I sure do. Do I believe that this god is the only god there is? No.
I dislike the idea that god has to be some bearded man in the sky, or some crone sitting on a throne in a castle made of clouds. I see them that way, but I see god as both constant and ever changing. Because god is in everything, and everything changes, then god must change too. How else can he be relevant in a modern age? I think this is why some witches are into ceremonial magick, which involves pop culture references, because it is something relevant that relates to them. To me, its not something I am ready for, because I am more immersed in the things around me than pop culture, but I understand it from the view that we must see god in all places, rather than in one.
To me, the idea that god can only be spoken to in flowery, old fashioned language is an insult to the deity. They created the world which we live in, and have watched and existed in the changes that humans manifest. They would surely understand this blog post as well as they would a Shakespearean sonnet, right? (Maybe better, who writes in sonnets but bards?)
I have a hard time accepting that just because a way of doing things is older, or has been done more often, means it is better or works more effectively. Sometimes this is true. Sometimes not at all. Experience, then, is the only test of what really works for a person.
Another thing that I found irksome was the implication that if you were not living in the country it was hard to be in touch with the earth and the seasons. This is particularly insulting because we practice an earth based religion where the cycle of the seasons marks the turn of our year, our lives, and gives significance to our holidays. To tell me that if I can only view the change of the fall into winter from my window at my house in town rather than seeing my field frost in the country makes me less attuned to the earth, is the same as telling me that because I drive a car, I cannot relate to the feeling of walking or riding a bicycle or a horse. That's silly. Its condescending to say that when I note to myself that its time to get out the winter sweaters and scarves that this is my only way of marking the passing of the seasons is purely insulting. I may not have fields but I have a yard, and gardens and parks and lakes very close to me. My garden may be small, but it is mine, and I tend it with as much love as I would a whole crop of wheat.
My relationship to the earth, indeed, is one I could argue is as strong, or more strong, than a country person's because I crave the earth more- having less access to it on a moment to moment basis. I appreciate the fruits from my garden more, because I am not always able to have them. They are wonderful to me, and I understand the barrenness that comes with Lammas, Mabon and the dark months better, because I have less to store and enjoy during those times. Don't I count the months in which I wait to seed start? Don't I wait, too, for the blooming of my first flower in the spring?
Maybe I am wrongly indignant, but to me, saying "poor little city witch, you'll never feel the seasons the way I do" is hurtful and marginalizes my experience with the earth as a witch because I am not fortunate to have the means to live on a giant farm or commune. This is not the path for everyone. And to marginalize that path because it is not yours? I call it hubris.
There are other things, too, that bother me. Grated, this book was written in 1981, and those traditions were founded long before the gay liberation movement, or even the women's right's movement, but there is a distinct distaste projected in the book for gay covens and gay coven members. They say they do indeed, have gay friends, and gay coven members, but the coven members were only allowed in when they were able to "assume the role of their actual gender when in a Wiccan context." Thsi could of course lead to a lengthy discourse on whether or not a person's actual gender is their sex organs or what is in their soul, but lets all agree to what is obvious- I think that's a silly thing to require.
I also seem to feel more than a little reverse discrimination in the idea of these forms of wicca, and its something that bothers me deeply. I do know that I practice a goddess centered religion. As the High Priestess of my coven, I am the supreme authority, and the High Priest is second to me. In our mythology, the mother goddess never dies, whereas the father god is sacrificed twice a year for the sake of fertility (that's an oversimplification, but you get the gist of it). However, it seems wrong to me not to recognize further the polarity of nature. Is there not light and dark, day and night, frost and fire, god and goddess? Everything has a mate, a match, an opposite. This, to me, seems something that should hold true in the religious structure as well.
Sakura, who I am blessed to work with, is our High Priest. He is my dear friend and partner in this spiritual journey. In other traditions of wicca, it is not uncommon for a husband and wife to be high priest and priestess. However, we are both gay. I can say though, he and I understand each other fully, and there is no question in my mind of how we ever need proceed. It is an excellent partnership based on trust and love. His contributions to our tradition are no less significant than mine. It bothers me that as a priest of the wicca, he may be accorded the honor of "strapping on the sword" which is his right as a High Priest and a tradition head. It is his symbol of manhood and strength, and of the gifts of the god. I may wear a garter, with buckles for each of my daughter covens, and it is my honor and right as a High Priestess and tradition head to do so. What upsets me is that I may also strap on the sword. But Sakura may not wear a garter, because he is a male. I suppose this is to signify that while a woman can imbibe and even imitate the strength of a man by using an imitation phallus, a male may never understand the female experience because he cannot get rid of his penis.
I call bullshit. What about Oscelot, who has both sets of chromosomes, though she has a female's body? What does she do? May she only strap on the sword, because of her Y chromosome? I find it puzzling. I do see, with respect to Dianic Wicaa, which is all female, the need for a woman to strap on the sword. But what happens in an all male coven? Do such covens even exist? They surely must...but I have never heard of them. I would be interested to see what they do in such a situation. Polarity, to me, and the recognition of balance, seems so much more important.
The only other thing which I truly disagree with is the opinion of working skyclad, or naked. Now, I completely agree that if you want to and you have a private place to practice, its your right. I mean, it goes without saying you can raise great energy when you are not working with clothes- there is less between you and the rest of the universe. But there was implied that working with clothes on, choosing not to be skyclad was a result of three things- the first, vanity. If you are thinking of how you feel naked, you are more concerned with how you look than how your soul looks. The next is prudery, which I won't even argue, because you can read the post I made before this and know I'm not a prude. Finally, there is the implication that modesty is something that is imposed upon all of us by the patriarchal society that we live in. The man, they say, is trying to keep me covered.
I disagree completely. If my body, in its divinity, is something I regard as a beauty and a mystery, my source of power, why would I reveal that to someone? Even within the sacred circle, where I am with my most trusted spiritual family, I feel as though my understanding of myself and my divinity is mine alone, as their body and their divinity is theirs. Do I choose to share that with some of my circle, certainly. I am married to Kitten and I am lovers with Oscelot. however, it is only upon deep spiritual connection that I would choose to make the jump from physical connection to spiritual connection with regards to my body. As it is, I only do that with Kitten, and that's my private business.
I am not ashamed of myself. Yes, I am vain, but not so that I would be thinking of whether or not my coven thinks my thighs are fat. They seem them often enough when I wear skirts, or my underwear or whatever. I trust them to see me as I am. I don't need to be naked to touch the divine. The divine is already within the body, and in touch with me, whether I am clothed or not. And, though it may seem bold to say so, I trust my ability to raise power with my clothes on just fine.
So what has all this reflection done for me? It has made me more determined than ever to found a tradition of wicca, and to work with other traditions of wicca, who have the spiritual best in mind for their covens, where the relevance of deity is something that comes from both a modern and ancient perspective. I want to be a tradition where there is equal respect for all aspects of deity, and recognition of polarity in all places, not just in form or thought.
As I said, I am not saying they are wrong. It works for them, and practice is the only way to know whether or not something will work for you. I simply think it does not work for me, and I felt like I wanted to write about why. As I mentioned, I have great respect for the traditions I have mentioned. I have great respect for the authors in question. Without them, I would not have the tools I have now to form my own ideas and opinions. I will even confess that parts of my eclectic tradition draw from their traditions. But not all of them. Not even most of them.
I am much more clear, now, though, as to what direction I would like to take my coven. I know where I feel I have more growth to make, and where I can work to do more for the development of our spirituality and philosophy. For that, I am very thankful.
I hope my little rant has been interesting, or at least enlightening or entertaining for you.
AGxx
A note, I obviously do not own Janet and Stewart Ferrar, any of their books or covens. I do not have claim to Alexandrian or Gardinarian or Saxon witchcraft. In general, nothing is my own except my coven and my opinions. I do, however, encourage you to read them in full to get a full picture of their ideas and thoughts, as this is merely my reflections and impressions of their work. Their ideas are their own, which I respect. I have no intention of offending or misusing any of their works, and this post was made with the intention of expressing my love of the Craft, harming none.
I've been doing more reading this week on Wicca and the history of Wicca. I've also spent much more time looking at older traditions of my religion, including Gardenarian and Alexandrian Wicca. I have to say, its really not to my tastes, and its given me a completely new perspective on my religion as a whole.
I have to first say, in all honesty, I truly believe there is no such thing as one right path, even in Wicca. I think that spirituality is something that is fluid and has to relate to the person who is practicing that particular form of spirituality. When I blog, in the following, that I don't particularly care for something, it isn't me saying it is wrong, only that it doesn't resonate for me. This does not mean I feel the people who use such practices should change, or that they are bad, or anything like that. It only means I relate differently. I still respect the founders of these traditions because they have done much for my religion as a whole, and their contributions are both large and valuable.
Rather than boring you with a history lesson, I will instead direct you to information concerning Gardinarian Wicca and Alexandrian Wicca. Feel free to read up, it will give you a much better idea of where I am coming from with regard to my thoughts. In fact, it might also give you a good background to look into Janet and Stewart Ferrar as well, as most of my thoughts have come from reading their excellent books on witchcraft: The Witches' Bible, The Witches' God, and The Witches' Goddess. They are wonderful, well written, informative books. If you are interested in learning more about the general history of Wicca, both in its more ancient forms and in its modern incarnations, I would suggest reading Drawing Down the Moon by Margot Adler, an excellent journalist and practicing pagan.
I will also add, in case you've missed any of my other posts about wicca, that I (along with Sakura, Kitten and Oscelot) am a tradition head for a new form of wicca. Or I should say, if my coven ever hives, I will be. A tradition head simply means that I have founded my own coven and that I (and by I, I mean our group) have created an eclectic coven that operates on its own principles and beliefs within the Wiccan framework. Should, and I hope it does, our coven ever grow past 13 members it will "hive" or split off from the original coven, practicing under new leadership the same things the current coven does, acting as a "daughter coven" which would relate to the older, original coven. The hope is, of course, to have several hives, and a large group of practitioners that relate to your particular brand of wicca because it brings them joy and comfort.
That said, I've had a lot of food for thought in the last couple of days. Part of this is a direct result of reading these books and becoming more intimately acquainted with the particulars of Gardenarian and Alexandrian rituals and coven practice. They really aren't my style. Part of that is that there is a certain ancientness and solemnity surrounding their ritual. Part of it is that it is very solid, there is no change. The ritual for Beltane, for example, is the same every year, and so on for all of the holidays. That, also, is not to my tastes. There is also a certain...I don't know...feel you get from the books I've been reading that while we are all very open about agreeing there is no one right path, the authors of the book feel that if there were one right path to be chosen, it would be theirs. It almost borders on dogma.
As you know, I am a very take it or leave it kind of person. Whenever we have people approach us about joining the coven or wanting to know more about it, I am very open about our ideas and practices. If they like what they hear, we can talk further. If they don't, well, I appreciate their time and we all move on with no hard feelings. I don't believe there is room for dogma in any reasonable religion, because you have to be concerned with other things. I don't have time to fight about whether I am right or wrong, I only need to know that I and my coven feel right about our practice. That has to be enough. We have other things to think about- like living good lives, and playing by the rules, etc. I'm all for theological discussion, but I am not into argument. I don't have the energy for it. Two people can be philosophically very different and agree to respect each others opinion even when they don't see eye to eye.
There was one passage in particular very early in the book (The Witch's Bible) which in specific gave me that impression:
"Interestingly, what Doreen Valiente has done for Gardenarian Wicca in Witchcraft for Tomorrow, Raymond Buckland has done for another tradition, Saxon Wicca, in The Tree, The Complete Book of Saxon Witchcraft. That, too, includes a simple but comprehensive Book of Shadows and procedures for self-initiation and the founding of your own coven. We found many of the rituals in The Tree admirable, though we were less happy about its eight Festival rites, which are even scantier than in the Gardinarian Book of Shadows, and amount to little more than brief spoken declamations; they are based on the idea that the Goddess rules the summer, from Beltaine to Samhain, and the God the winter, from Damhain to Beltaine- a concept to which we cannot attune ourselves. Persephone, who withdraws to the underworld in winter, is only one aspect of the Goddess- a fact which her legend emphasizes by making her the daughter of the Great Mother.
However, to each his own; it is presumptuous to be too dogmatic, from the outside, about other traditions of the Craft. What matters is that anyone who wants to follow the Wiccan path but cannot get in touch with an established coven, now has two valid Wiccan traditions open to him in published form." (The Witches' Bible, p.29)
To me, this passage gave the impression that because the Saxon tradition chose to focus on Persephone as an archetype, and that wasn't really the authors' thing, that they were probably wrong. I wasn't a fan of the phrase "Too dogmatic from the outside" because I don't think you should be too dogmatic at all. It seems as though its maybe more acceptable to them to badmouth other traditions only within the privacy of the coven circle. It goes, to me, directly against one of the basic laws of the Craft "do not gossip or speak evil of other witches." Maybe I'm wrong there. I could be.
Anyway, with that at the outset of my studying, I felt a little unsettled with the book, and wondered how I would feel in relation to their other ideas. I won't bore you with a chapter by chapter analysis of the book, you can read it if you want to. I will say that I did enjoy looking at the basic rituals for all of the holidays, and for how they are relevant to them.
It was not for me.
I believe, very firmly, that wicca is an experiential religion. I think that interaction with god (and by god I of course mean the god, goddess or great spirit, The All, or however you express divinity) is something that is personal and has to relate directly to you. I think there are things that make less sense as a modern witch in some of these traditions than they would if we were still living at the turn of the century. Do I believe that god has existed since before time, is ancient and ageless and perfect? Yep, I sure do. Do I believe that this god is the only god there is? No.
I dislike the idea that god has to be some bearded man in the sky, or some crone sitting on a throne in a castle made of clouds. I see them that way, but I see god as both constant and ever changing. Because god is in everything, and everything changes, then god must change too. How else can he be relevant in a modern age? I think this is why some witches are into ceremonial magick, which involves pop culture references, because it is something relevant that relates to them. To me, its not something I am ready for, because I am more immersed in the things around me than pop culture, but I understand it from the view that we must see god in all places, rather than in one.
To me, the idea that god can only be spoken to in flowery, old fashioned language is an insult to the deity. They created the world which we live in, and have watched and existed in the changes that humans manifest. They would surely understand this blog post as well as they would a Shakespearean sonnet, right? (Maybe better, who writes in sonnets but bards?)
I have a hard time accepting that just because a way of doing things is older, or has been done more often, means it is better or works more effectively. Sometimes this is true. Sometimes not at all. Experience, then, is the only test of what really works for a person.
Another thing that I found irksome was the implication that if you were not living in the country it was hard to be in touch with the earth and the seasons. This is particularly insulting because we practice an earth based religion where the cycle of the seasons marks the turn of our year, our lives, and gives significance to our holidays. To tell me that if I can only view the change of the fall into winter from my window at my house in town rather than seeing my field frost in the country makes me less attuned to the earth, is the same as telling me that because I drive a car, I cannot relate to the feeling of walking or riding a bicycle or a horse. That's silly. Its condescending to say that when I note to myself that its time to get out the winter sweaters and scarves that this is my only way of marking the passing of the seasons is purely insulting. I may not have fields but I have a yard, and gardens and parks and lakes very close to me. My garden may be small, but it is mine, and I tend it with as much love as I would a whole crop of wheat.
My relationship to the earth, indeed, is one I could argue is as strong, or more strong, than a country person's because I crave the earth more- having less access to it on a moment to moment basis. I appreciate the fruits from my garden more, because I am not always able to have them. They are wonderful to me, and I understand the barrenness that comes with Lammas, Mabon and the dark months better, because I have less to store and enjoy during those times. Don't I count the months in which I wait to seed start? Don't I wait, too, for the blooming of my first flower in the spring?
Maybe I am wrongly indignant, but to me, saying "poor little city witch, you'll never feel the seasons the way I do" is hurtful and marginalizes my experience with the earth as a witch because I am not fortunate to have the means to live on a giant farm or commune. This is not the path for everyone. And to marginalize that path because it is not yours? I call it hubris.
There are other things, too, that bother me. Grated, this book was written in 1981, and those traditions were founded long before the gay liberation movement, or even the women's right's movement, but there is a distinct distaste projected in the book for gay covens and gay coven members. They say they do indeed, have gay friends, and gay coven members, but the coven members were only allowed in when they were able to "assume the role of their actual gender when in a Wiccan context." Thsi could of course lead to a lengthy discourse on whether or not a person's actual gender is their sex organs or what is in their soul, but lets all agree to what is obvious- I think that's a silly thing to require.
I also seem to feel more than a little reverse discrimination in the idea of these forms of wicca, and its something that bothers me deeply. I do know that I practice a goddess centered religion. As the High Priestess of my coven, I am the supreme authority, and the High Priest is second to me. In our mythology, the mother goddess never dies, whereas the father god is sacrificed twice a year for the sake of fertility (that's an oversimplification, but you get the gist of it). However, it seems wrong to me not to recognize further the polarity of nature. Is there not light and dark, day and night, frost and fire, god and goddess? Everything has a mate, a match, an opposite. This, to me, seems something that should hold true in the religious structure as well.
Sakura, who I am blessed to work with, is our High Priest. He is my dear friend and partner in this spiritual journey. In other traditions of wicca, it is not uncommon for a husband and wife to be high priest and priestess. However, we are both gay. I can say though, he and I understand each other fully, and there is no question in my mind of how we ever need proceed. It is an excellent partnership based on trust and love. His contributions to our tradition are no less significant than mine. It bothers me that as a priest of the wicca, he may be accorded the honor of "strapping on the sword" which is his right as a High Priest and a tradition head. It is his symbol of manhood and strength, and of the gifts of the god. I may wear a garter, with buckles for each of my daughter covens, and it is my honor and right as a High Priestess and tradition head to do so. What upsets me is that I may also strap on the sword. But Sakura may not wear a garter, because he is a male. I suppose this is to signify that while a woman can imbibe and even imitate the strength of a man by using an imitation phallus, a male may never understand the female experience because he cannot get rid of his penis.
I call bullshit. What about Oscelot, who has both sets of chromosomes, though she has a female's body? What does she do? May she only strap on the sword, because of her Y chromosome? I find it puzzling. I do see, with respect to Dianic Wicaa, which is all female, the need for a woman to strap on the sword. But what happens in an all male coven? Do such covens even exist? They surely must...but I have never heard of them. I would be interested to see what they do in such a situation. Polarity, to me, and the recognition of balance, seems so much more important.
The only other thing which I truly disagree with is the opinion of working skyclad, or naked. Now, I completely agree that if you want to and you have a private place to practice, its your right. I mean, it goes without saying you can raise great energy when you are not working with clothes- there is less between you and the rest of the universe. But there was implied that working with clothes on, choosing not to be skyclad was a result of three things- the first, vanity. If you are thinking of how you feel naked, you are more concerned with how you look than how your soul looks. The next is prudery, which I won't even argue, because you can read the post I made before this and know I'm not a prude. Finally, there is the implication that modesty is something that is imposed upon all of us by the patriarchal society that we live in. The man, they say, is trying to keep me covered.
I disagree completely. If my body, in its divinity, is something I regard as a beauty and a mystery, my source of power, why would I reveal that to someone? Even within the sacred circle, where I am with my most trusted spiritual family, I feel as though my understanding of myself and my divinity is mine alone, as their body and their divinity is theirs. Do I choose to share that with some of my circle, certainly. I am married to Kitten and I am lovers with Oscelot. however, it is only upon deep spiritual connection that I would choose to make the jump from physical connection to spiritual connection with regards to my body. As it is, I only do that with Kitten, and that's my private business.
I am not ashamed of myself. Yes, I am vain, but not so that I would be thinking of whether or not my coven thinks my thighs are fat. They seem them often enough when I wear skirts, or my underwear or whatever. I trust them to see me as I am. I don't need to be naked to touch the divine. The divine is already within the body, and in touch with me, whether I am clothed or not. And, though it may seem bold to say so, I trust my ability to raise power with my clothes on just fine.
So what has all this reflection done for me? It has made me more determined than ever to found a tradition of wicca, and to work with other traditions of wicca, who have the spiritual best in mind for their covens, where the relevance of deity is something that comes from both a modern and ancient perspective. I want to be a tradition where there is equal respect for all aspects of deity, and recognition of polarity in all places, not just in form or thought.
As I said, I am not saying they are wrong. It works for them, and practice is the only way to know whether or not something will work for you. I simply think it does not work for me, and I felt like I wanted to write about why. As I mentioned, I have great respect for the traditions I have mentioned. I have great respect for the authors in question. Without them, I would not have the tools I have now to form my own ideas and opinions. I will even confess that parts of my eclectic tradition draw from their traditions. But not all of them. Not even most of them.
I am much more clear, now, though, as to what direction I would like to take my coven. I know where I feel I have more growth to make, and where I can work to do more for the development of our spirituality and philosophy. For that, I am very thankful.
I hope my little rant has been interesting, or at least enlightening or entertaining for you.
AGxx
A note, I obviously do not own Janet and Stewart Ferrar, any of their books or covens. I do not have claim to Alexandrian or Gardinarian or Saxon witchcraft. In general, nothing is my own except my coven and my opinions. I do, however, encourage you to read them in full to get a full picture of their ideas and thoughts, as this is merely my reflections and impressions of their work. Their ideas are their own, which I respect. I have no intention of offending or misusing any of their works, and this post was made with the intention of expressing my love of the Craft, harming none.
Friday, December 30, 2011
There's Nothing That I Won't Try
Its that time of year again. Yep, my calendar shows we only have one more day after today before 2011 is gone forever. I don't regret it, with the coming of each new year there is always something exciting and different. I like change. I like newness. You know me well enough, novelty is always welcome.
But, as always, it is time to evaluate and look forward. Now, technically, I do that on October 31, and my new year started a couple months ago. But, if you separate the spiritual new year with the calendar one, well- now's the time, isn't it? I'm terribly afraid all of you religious blog readers are going to be bored, for I know every blogger must feel compulsed to do this kind of post. My only reassurance is that you must like me, or you'd not be reading, so progress for me might be interesting to you, no?
I suppose I ought to start off with what I was resolved upon last year. I can't seem to find my dang list, but I remember what I was planning on last year. My big ones were 1) to read a new book every other day or so for the whole year 2) not to reread any books I've already read and 3) to be down to two cigarettes a day by Jan 1, 2012. I failed. Epically. I did read quite a lot of books, but I have a tedency to pick big ones, so of course I never did make it to the 127 mark. But I did read quite a few new books this year and I enjoyed them very much.
Among my new ones that I enjoyed were the Inheritance Cycle, by Christopher Paolini; The Sex Lives of Cannibals and Getting Stoned with Savages by J. Maarten Troost and Band of Brothers by Steven Ambrose. I picked up some non-fiction too, reading about the court of Henry VIII and about Elizabeth I. That was fun. I have lately become addicted to the series of Books of Useless Information. They're great fun to read. So all in all, I'm not angry with my showing of new books. I did, also, reread my favorites. It turns out that the call of Gone with the Wind, Pride and Prejudice and The Count of Monte Cristo were too much for me. Although I made it until March before I broke down.
I am obviously not down to one cigarette a day. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. I will say this- I smoke less than I did. I also realized I'm not a person who smokes because they are stressed or because they want to loose weight or whatever. I honestly like to smoke, and I like the flavor of tobacco. Since me quitting is more a health thing than anything else, I'm considering investing in a hookah. Shisha tobacco is less harsh and tastes better. I'm relatively certain if I had a hookah at home, I'd quit smoking cigarettes. I'm just snob enough to confess it. If I have good tobacco at home smoking Marlboro at work will not suffice for me, and I dont have time to roll my own or any of that sort of nonsense. And hookah takes too long to smoke at work. Haha.
Now, outside of those failed resolutions I have had a good year for personal change. I've learned a lot about myself.
Sometime just before May, when we officially formed our coven, I began to think about my personal flaws. I know I have many, but the one I kept coming back to most often was my anger problem. It was something I decided at that time that I really wanted to work on. Since then, with the help of my coven on occasion, I've really taken the time to think before I get angry and conssider whether or not I am really mad, or if I need to be. I've been taking a moment to consider whether or not a vertain situation that makes me angry will really effect me in the long run, and Ithink my temper has improved by leaps and bounds. Now, I'm not perfect, not even close...but I do think I am much closer than I was to embracing the darker side of myself and using it for something mroe than counter-productive and often futile fuming over nonsense.
As a result, I have found I am actually able to meditate. I can travel astrally with much more ease. My spellwork has seriously improved. Not to mention, I am much more plesant to be around. A side effect of me learning to control my temper is that I have been forced to work on my patience. I won't lie, sometimes work is a trial to me. Its not that I don't like my job or the people I work with. For the most part, I do. I'm really very lucky. But that doesn't mean there aren't days when I don't want to claw the walls. Instead, I am learning to take a deep breath and try for perspective. Even in my persoanl relationships, I find myself practicing patience. Part of it, for me, is realizing (as I did earlier this uyear) that I am a rather high maintenance partner. I'm nto demanding, but emotionally I carry a lot of weight. I also require a lot of physical affection and constant reassurance. My recognizing this has made me much more patient with regards to Oscleot and Kitten. I feel bad for them sometimes. I never regret them loving me, but I do know sometimes I don't make it easy. As a dedicated partner, I have foudnt here are often times I must be patient with them. I find it easier to do now, especially in consideration of how often I think they must be patient with me. Again, I know I fail more frequently than I ought, but I am much more in control now than I ever was.
This year at work brought promotion, and with it I learned to face my terror of failure. I aldo had to face my fear that everyone hates me- and accept it. I've come to terms with the fact that as an older staff member, one of the most senior ones, and one of the most dogmatic about the way I do things, I'm natually going toh ave people not like me. Add in that Ihave a reputation (rather deserved actually) of being a huge bitch, and yeah, I can't really expect most people to like me. I'm okay with it. Now, I have tried to be more reasonable, I have tried to be fair and good to our staff. I think its helping me succeed, because they are very willing to work with me, and for that I am really grateful. Of course, I know that I screw up now and again (okay, a lot) but I think I am gradually overcoming that terror that one day I'm going to walk into Casa Bueno and they're going to say "Alecya, you're a terrible supervisor,and we realized we don't like you. You're fired." I have to give my bosses credit, they wouldn't do that, but it doesn't mean that I don't worry about it all the same.
With regards to relationships (outside my romantic ones, with Kitten and Oscelot, which you get to hear about all the time) I've found a firm footing in my world for once. I thought that I was really a rather lonely person until this year. After years of feelig like my friends were not really my own ,I finally have that sense that I belong somewhere. The forming of our coven brought Sakura to me, much closer than we had been before. In the crosswires I was lucky enough thast Hedgewitch and her husband came into (or back into, rather) my life. I've missed that old sense of connection, and there's nothing like an old friend tohelp give you perspective and love, and remind you you aren't nearly as screwed up as you think you are- or that if you are, well, aren't we all?
I made a few mistakes, I think. I mistook some of the people It hought were my friends. I made some relationship mistakes that ended some friendships. But, I'm pkay with it. I think to myself now, I deserve people who love me at my worst. I do. And Ithink, sometimes, I erringly pick people who only see me at my best. It doesn't help me to do that. I have to be willing to let people see me when I'm not at 100% or hell, barely at 1%.
In that light, I lucked into Flyguy, who has already seen me sick more times than I care to admit, and who despite all of my oddities, has stuck me outand become a spectacular friend. His goodness is only equalled by his humor and his ability to see right through all my rediculous pretensions right into what I really am, which most days is a silly girl, playing at being a woman, trying desperately to cover up the fact that she is terrified of everything. In fact, I mentioned to him the other night, sometimes it amazes me how terribly vain and compeltelyinsecure I canbe all at once. He smiled at me, and his response makes me feel so much better, so terribly normal, that I can't help but love him for it. Of course, working with him is a bonus, because I feel much less isolated and old when I work with him. I can't believe I ever thought he was a personality void. Turns out, friends, first impressions are not everything (who knew?).
Through all of this year, and I have to mention her, because Iknow she's reading and wondering where the hell she's atin all of this- Perpet has become a better friend than ever. Seems like the distance between here and the rose City is gradually shrinking because we will it to. I was so happy to see her at Yule, I couldn't believe it. It seems like light has burst into myhome, and I am thankful she and the Boy were there to be with me for it. Also, in case you didn't know, she's going to be a famous author one day. Seriously. She's well on her wya. I couldn't be prouder. This year she has given me more good advice, more comfort and more laughs than just about anyone.
So, you see, I've been a very lucky woman. Of course, I have other friends, other people who bear mentioning here, but Iwould bore you with a laundry list of how fortuante I truly am. Although (Bobcat and Lynx) I have to make a special shout out to the people in my Kitteh family, because they do mean so very much to me.
Normally, I suppose, this would be the time when I talk about the resolutions I've made, and how I'm going to achieve them. But the one thing I've learned this year is that soetimes growth isn't quantifiable until after its been achieved, and the things you can count aren't always the ones that should count. Instead, I will say this. I want to keep working on my anger. I need to keep working on my patience. Spiritually, I've aquired apatron god, one who willingly reminds me that I am vain and rather silly. They are things I know will need to change for me to be a happy, successful person, and witch. At Yule, rather than wishing, I blessed myself, and I chose more friends, love, health and spirituality. These are things I already have, yes, but they are things I want to keep and to grow in this next year. I want to grow my skills as a witch, and I want to grow myself as a person. I can't quantify that. I can say, though, that in hte next year, we can watch my progress together. And you, my friend, will always be there to remind e that I've chosen to make myself better, and that once a choice is made there isn't a way to take it back.
I sincerely hope that each of you has found many blessings this year. I hope that 2011 was kind to you, and that when it wasn't you were able to bear through it. I think we can, together, approach 2012 with the Grace and Humor we all hold within us. We wouldn't be friends otherwise, right?
Lord and Lady Bless you. Be safe, and have a wonderful start to your new year. I'm glad for you being here. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us.
AGxx
But, as always, it is time to evaluate and look forward. Now, technically, I do that on October 31, and my new year started a couple months ago. But, if you separate the spiritual new year with the calendar one, well- now's the time, isn't it? I'm terribly afraid all of you religious blog readers are going to be bored, for I know every blogger must feel compulsed to do this kind of post. My only reassurance is that you must like me, or you'd not be reading, so progress for me might be interesting to you, no?
I suppose I ought to start off with what I was resolved upon last year. I can't seem to find my dang list, but I remember what I was planning on last year. My big ones were 1) to read a new book every other day or so for the whole year 2) not to reread any books I've already read and 3) to be down to two cigarettes a day by Jan 1, 2012. I failed. Epically. I did read quite a lot of books, but I have a tedency to pick big ones, so of course I never did make it to the 127 mark. But I did read quite a few new books this year and I enjoyed them very much.
Among my new ones that I enjoyed were the Inheritance Cycle, by Christopher Paolini; The Sex Lives of Cannibals and Getting Stoned with Savages by J. Maarten Troost and Band of Brothers by Steven Ambrose. I picked up some non-fiction too, reading about the court of Henry VIII and about Elizabeth I. That was fun. I have lately become addicted to the series of Books of Useless Information. They're great fun to read. So all in all, I'm not angry with my showing of new books. I did, also, reread my favorites. It turns out that the call of Gone with the Wind, Pride and Prejudice and The Count of Monte Cristo were too much for me. Although I made it until March before I broke down.
I am obviously not down to one cigarette a day. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. I will say this- I smoke less than I did. I also realized I'm not a person who smokes because they are stressed or because they want to loose weight or whatever. I honestly like to smoke, and I like the flavor of tobacco. Since me quitting is more a health thing than anything else, I'm considering investing in a hookah. Shisha tobacco is less harsh and tastes better. I'm relatively certain if I had a hookah at home, I'd quit smoking cigarettes. I'm just snob enough to confess it. If I have good tobacco at home smoking Marlboro at work will not suffice for me, and I dont have time to roll my own or any of that sort of nonsense. And hookah takes too long to smoke at work. Haha.
Now, outside of those failed resolutions I have had a good year for personal change. I've learned a lot about myself.
Sometime just before May, when we officially formed our coven, I began to think about my personal flaws. I know I have many, but the one I kept coming back to most often was my anger problem. It was something I decided at that time that I really wanted to work on. Since then, with the help of my coven on occasion, I've really taken the time to think before I get angry and conssider whether or not I am really mad, or if I need to be. I've been taking a moment to consider whether or not a vertain situation that makes me angry will really effect me in the long run, and Ithink my temper has improved by leaps and bounds. Now, I'm not perfect, not even close...but I do think I am much closer than I was to embracing the darker side of myself and using it for something mroe than counter-productive and often futile fuming over nonsense.
As a result, I have found I am actually able to meditate. I can travel astrally with much more ease. My spellwork has seriously improved. Not to mention, I am much more plesant to be around. A side effect of me learning to control my temper is that I have been forced to work on my patience. I won't lie, sometimes work is a trial to me. Its not that I don't like my job or the people I work with. For the most part, I do. I'm really very lucky. But that doesn't mean there aren't days when I don't want to claw the walls. Instead, I am learning to take a deep breath and try for perspective. Even in my persoanl relationships, I find myself practicing patience. Part of it, for me, is realizing (as I did earlier this uyear) that I am a rather high maintenance partner. I'm nto demanding, but emotionally I carry a lot of weight. I also require a lot of physical affection and constant reassurance. My recognizing this has made me much more patient with regards to Oscleot and Kitten. I feel bad for them sometimes. I never regret them loving me, but I do know sometimes I don't make it easy. As a dedicated partner, I have foudnt here are often times I must be patient with them. I find it easier to do now, especially in consideration of how often I think they must be patient with me. Again, I know I fail more frequently than I ought, but I am much more in control now than I ever was.
This year at work brought promotion, and with it I learned to face my terror of failure. I aldo had to face my fear that everyone hates me- and accept it. I've come to terms with the fact that as an older staff member, one of the most senior ones, and one of the most dogmatic about the way I do things, I'm natually going toh ave people not like me. Add in that Ihave a reputation (rather deserved actually) of being a huge bitch, and yeah, I can't really expect most people to like me. I'm okay with it. Now, I have tried to be more reasonable, I have tried to be fair and good to our staff. I think its helping me succeed, because they are very willing to work with me, and for that I am really grateful. Of course, I know that I screw up now and again (okay, a lot) but I think I am gradually overcoming that terror that one day I'm going to walk into Casa Bueno and they're going to say "Alecya, you're a terrible supervisor,and we realized we don't like you. You're fired." I have to give my bosses credit, they wouldn't do that, but it doesn't mean that I don't worry about it all the same.
With regards to relationships (outside my romantic ones, with Kitten and Oscelot, which you get to hear about all the time) I've found a firm footing in my world for once. I thought that I was really a rather lonely person until this year. After years of feelig like my friends were not really my own ,I finally have that sense that I belong somewhere. The forming of our coven brought Sakura to me, much closer than we had been before. In the crosswires I was lucky enough thast Hedgewitch and her husband came into (or back into, rather) my life. I've missed that old sense of connection, and there's nothing like an old friend tohelp give you perspective and love, and remind you you aren't nearly as screwed up as you think you are- or that if you are, well, aren't we all?
I made a few mistakes, I think. I mistook some of the people It hought were my friends. I made some relationship mistakes that ended some friendships. But, I'm pkay with it. I think to myself now, I deserve people who love me at my worst. I do. And Ithink, sometimes, I erringly pick people who only see me at my best. It doesn't help me to do that. I have to be willing to let people see me when I'm not at 100% or hell, barely at 1%.
In that light, I lucked into Flyguy, who has already seen me sick more times than I care to admit, and who despite all of my oddities, has stuck me outand become a spectacular friend. His goodness is only equalled by his humor and his ability to see right through all my rediculous pretensions right into what I really am, which most days is a silly girl, playing at being a woman, trying desperately to cover up the fact that she is terrified of everything. In fact, I mentioned to him the other night, sometimes it amazes me how terribly vain and compeltelyinsecure I canbe all at once. He smiled at me, and his response makes me feel so much better, so terribly normal, that I can't help but love him for it. Of course, working with him is a bonus, because I feel much less isolated and old when I work with him. I can't believe I ever thought he was a personality void. Turns out, friends, first impressions are not everything (who knew?).
Through all of this year, and I have to mention her, because Iknow she's reading and wondering where the hell she's atin all of this- Perpet has become a better friend than ever. Seems like the distance between here and the rose City is gradually shrinking because we will it to. I was so happy to see her at Yule, I couldn't believe it. It seems like light has burst into myhome, and I am thankful she and the Boy were there to be with me for it. Also, in case you didn't know, she's going to be a famous author one day. Seriously. She's well on her wya. I couldn't be prouder. This year she has given me more good advice, more comfort and more laughs than just about anyone.
So, you see, I've been a very lucky woman. Of course, I have other friends, other people who bear mentioning here, but Iwould bore you with a laundry list of how fortuante I truly am. Although (Bobcat and Lynx) I have to make a special shout out to the people in my Kitteh family, because they do mean so very much to me.
Normally, I suppose, this would be the time when I talk about the resolutions I've made, and how I'm going to achieve them. But the one thing I've learned this year is that soetimes growth isn't quantifiable until after its been achieved, and the things you can count aren't always the ones that should count. Instead, I will say this. I want to keep working on my anger. I need to keep working on my patience. Spiritually, I've aquired apatron god, one who willingly reminds me that I am vain and rather silly. They are things I know will need to change for me to be a happy, successful person, and witch. At Yule, rather than wishing, I blessed myself, and I chose more friends, love, health and spirituality. These are things I already have, yes, but they are things I want to keep and to grow in this next year. I want to grow my skills as a witch, and I want to grow myself as a person. I can't quantify that. I can say, though, that in hte next year, we can watch my progress together. And you, my friend, will always be there to remind e that I've chosen to make myself better, and that once a choice is made there isn't a way to take it back.
I sincerely hope that each of you has found many blessings this year. I hope that 2011 was kind to you, and that when it wasn't you were able to bear through it. I think we can, together, approach 2012 with the Grace and Humor we all hold within us. We wouldn't be friends otherwise, right?
Lord and Lady Bless you. Be safe, and have a wonderful start to your new year. I'm glad for you being here. I can't wait to see what the future holds for all of us.
AGxx
Friday, December 2, 2011
How I Miss You, and I Just Want to Kiss You
The weeks continue to tumble by so quickly I have hardly the chance to keep up! I feel the turning of the earth below me, faster than usual it seems, and I look forward to the approach of the holiday season immensly. I must confess, part of that excitement is knowing that my dearest friend, Perpet and her husband, Boy, will be in town soon and I will get to see her for the first time in over a year. I'm happy about it, I haven't been able to spend quality time with her in a couple of years at least. It delights me to know they are coming for a good solid week and I can spend time with her. It also makes me anxious to succeed so that we can move. I want a good home in a city that makes me happy, but it will be nice to be near her again when that time comes.
I am also looking forward to another excursion at the beginning of next week. The girls and I are heading to Kansas City, MO to go see the inimitable Brandi Carlile in concert once again. I am always delighted when she comes close enough to my hometown that I am able to go to see her. Especially when it makes it possible to not have to take more than two days off of work.
Speaking of work, I feel changes in the air. We've lost a pretty healthy amount of staff members as of late. I can't say I regret it, many who left are ones that needed to leave, so i am glad to have the chance to build a new crew with the proper skills and lack of bad habits. We had a meeting the other day with the managment and our trainers, and we set goals for things we'd like to accomplish. So far, things are looking well and everyone seems to be on board. If we are able to follow through, I will be delighted to work inan even better environment where everyone can play for the same team. I've got my hopes up, and I pray that they are not in vain. I pray we follow through. I think we will. Yesterday two of the trainers and I stayed after we got off work to do some deep cleaning and some much needed store rearranging, as far as decoration goes. We're doing it again Saturday morning before we work, and if all goes well, we think we might get permission to repaint, which is something we desperately need. I'll definately keep you updated there. I might even take some pictures, if I think of it.
Otuside of work I've made good progress on my new novel. It shows no signs of slowing, although I must make myself work if I wish to be successful. By all rights, I should be at it now. I comfort myself with the thought I can work tonight and gte back in the saddle. Everything is going as planned there, which makes me happy.
I've been reading more again, after taking a somewhat lengthy break from my usual book every day or two pace. I read Band of Brothers, by Steven Ambrose, which is a nonfiction account of E Company of the 101st Airborne during WWII. My Grandfather was in the 101st, so it was quite touching for me. I have even more respect for his bravery now than I had ever before. Afterwards, I have been taking the time to reread the Inheritance Cycle. The last book int he series came out just before I went on vacation. I want to purchase it, but I need to refresh myself on the series first. I have to confess, I love those books. Mrs. Boss is reading them now, her son convinced her to, and she is enjoying them. I can't wait to talk to her about them. She seems really excited. She even made me go into the office the other day and tell Mr. Boss that yes, they are better than the LOTR series. No offense to Tollkein, he was talented and created a beautiful world. Paolini, though did something better. Tollkein was an Oxford professor, Paolini was 16 when he wrote the first book inthe series. A far more difficult feat. I think the young man a genius. Plus, the books dont drag with heacy, florid language, but read with all the swiftness and excitment an action-adventure should have. Yes, I like them very much.
I've set Oscelot to reading David Sedaris. I thought, with her rather short attention span, that she might like the short stories. Also, he's funny as hell. She read When You Are Engulfed in Flames, which I gave her to take on vacation with us. She loved it. I am going to read it next, its one that I haven't tackled yet. She's now onto Me Talk Pretty One Day, which I have read, and I loved. Its nice, because it gives us something to talk about. I like that, because sometimes I feel we have a tendency to fall into a rut and discuss work and other mundanities. I like having something to say that doesn't involve those things. Kitten, of course, I never seem to run out of things to talk about. She reads more than I do, which is great. I also get a great writing perspective for her, becaue she reads quite a bit in the genre I write, and she gives me a nice reader's perspective. She also reads a lot of Mystery and Thriller genre books, and while I don't read them myself, I am always interested in what she is reading because the plots give me fits sometimes.
One nasty side effect of the Eragon books, however, is I am feeling a bent towards poetry, which I am terrible at writing. Unfortunately, the books are riddled with poems and floral language, which always makes me want to try my hand at it. I always fail miserably. My poetry always sounds trite. Ah, well, its the thought that counts most days. I figure someday I will turn my head to the study of it, and then possibly escape my prison of meloncholy ABAB rhyming. in the meantime, I muddle through and laugh at my own work. It gives me perspective. I thought I would share my latest attempt with you. I sent it to Flyguy last night, and he was kind enough to respond with a correlating verse, which pleased me immensly.
My Stupid Poem
Draw a breath and close your eyes
Notch the barb, the arrow flies-
fast and hard the darkness turns
to slake desire for which we yearn.
Shatter quick the brittle glass
The one we hold which cannot last,
Turn the eye and shake the head
Tumble loose the feelings dead.
Yet lips murmur soft and sweet
Shower poison petals at the feet.
Trip them softly, trip them true
Another chance to play the fool.
Draw the bow and sight the sky
let yet another arrow fly.
Seeking true the greatest mark
In loving war, the subtle art.
Fill the quiver as you must,
Each wild repost and daring thrust
Draw a breath, and close the eyes
Notch the barb, the arrow flies.
Terrible isn't it? Ah, well. Practice makes perfect I hear. I will keep trying in the hopes of getting a passable poem at some point. In case you're interested, Flyguy's response, which I won't post here without obtaining his permission, addressed the preparatory moment before the arrow is let loose, the feeling of tension that fills us all before that moment comes, and how the past, the present and the future are our greatest burdens. I responded with a quick verse back:
Kiss the arrow, seal your fate. The time has come, you cannot wait.
It makes me want to keep after this miserable slog of a poem. Someone tell me to abandon it now.
Oh, an interesting thing I forgot to tell you with respect to work. Rogue doesn't work there anymore. She went back to our previous restaurant, because the old GMis gone and she quite likes the new one. I do hope she's happy. I was thinking the other day how odd it is, because I am no longer working with her, and I have since just after I started my old blog aeons ago. I commented to someone how strange it seemed, not having her in my life, whether we are friends ornot. Funnily enough, she friended me on Facebook that day. I say this in the most positive way possible, sometimes people we have loved, or people we still care for but are separated from, have a way of being a part of our lives always.
To be truthful, I have another friend I've been thinking of lately, and I know I've crossed their mind (not ego, sometimes you truly know things without being told) and I am interested to see how long it will take before they contact me. You never loose the people you love. Never. I'm waiting patiently, and we'll see. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
That's all I've got for now, although heaven knows I've got plenty to talk about.
We'll chat soon, eh?
AGxx
I am also looking forward to another excursion at the beginning of next week. The girls and I are heading to Kansas City, MO to go see the inimitable Brandi Carlile in concert once again. I am always delighted when she comes close enough to my hometown that I am able to go to see her. Especially when it makes it possible to not have to take more than two days off of work.
Speaking of work, I feel changes in the air. We've lost a pretty healthy amount of staff members as of late. I can't say I regret it, many who left are ones that needed to leave, so i am glad to have the chance to build a new crew with the proper skills and lack of bad habits. We had a meeting the other day with the managment and our trainers, and we set goals for things we'd like to accomplish. So far, things are looking well and everyone seems to be on board. If we are able to follow through, I will be delighted to work inan even better environment where everyone can play for the same team. I've got my hopes up, and I pray that they are not in vain. I pray we follow through. I think we will. Yesterday two of the trainers and I stayed after we got off work to do some deep cleaning and some much needed store rearranging, as far as decoration goes. We're doing it again Saturday morning before we work, and if all goes well, we think we might get permission to repaint, which is something we desperately need. I'll definately keep you updated there. I might even take some pictures, if I think of it.
Otuside of work I've made good progress on my new novel. It shows no signs of slowing, although I must make myself work if I wish to be successful. By all rights, I should be at it now. I comfort myself with the thought I can work tonight and gte back in the saddle. Everything is going as planned there, which makes me happy.
I've been reading more again, after taking a somewhat lengthy break from my usual book every day or two pace. I read Band of Brothers, by Steven Ambrose, which is a nonfiction account of E Company of the 101st Airborne during WWII. My Grandfather was in the 101st, so it was quite touching for me. I have even more respect for his bravery now than I had ever before. Afterwards, I have been taking the time to reread the Inheritance Cycle. The last book int he series came out just before I went on vacation. I want to purchase it, but I need to refresh myself on the series first. I have to confess, I love those books. Mrs. Boss is reading them now, her son convinced her to, and she is enjoying them. I can't wait to talk to her about them. She seems really excited. She even made me go into the office the other day and tell Mr. Boss that yes, they are better than the LOTR series. No offense to Tollkein, he was talented and created a beautiful world. Paolini, though did something better. Tollkein was an Oxford professor, Paolini was 16 when he wrote the first book inthe series. A far more difficult feat. I think the young man a genius. Plus, the books dont drag with heacy, florid language, but read with all the swiftness and excitment an action-adventure should have. Yes, I like them very much.
I've set Oscelot to reading David Sedaris. I thought, with her rather short attention span, that she might like the short stories. Also, he's funny as hell. She read When You Are Engulfed in Flames, which I gave her to take on vacation with us. She loved it. I am going to read it next, its one that I haven't tackled yet. She's now onto Me Talk Pretty One Day, which I have read, and I loved. Its nice, because it gives us something to talk about. I like that, because sometimes I feel we have a tendency to fall into a rut and discuss work and other mundanities. I like having something to say that doesn't involve those things. Kitten, of course, I never seem to run out of things to talk about. She reads more than I do, which is great. I also get a great writing perspective for her, becaue she reads quite a bit in the genre I write, and she gives me a nice reader's perspective. She also reads a lot of Mystery and Thriller genre books, and while I don't read them myself, I am always interested in what she is reading because the plots give me fits sometimes.
One nasty side effect of the Eragon books, however, is I am feeling a bent towards poetry, which I am terrible at writing. Unfortunately, the books are riddled with poems and floral language, which always makes me want to try my hand at it. I always fail miserably. My poetry always sounds trite. Ah, well, its the thought that counts most days. I figure someday I will turn my head to the study of it, and then possibly escape my prison of meloncholy ABAB rhyming. in the meantime, I muddle through and laugh at my own work. It gives me perspective. I thought I would share my latest attempt with you. I sent it to Flyguy last night, and he was kind enough to respond with a correlating verse, which pleased me immensly.
My Stupid Poem
Draw a breath and close your eyes
Notch the barb, the arrow flies-
fast and hard the darkness turns
to slake desire for which we yearn.
Shatter quick the brittle glass
The one we hold which cannot last,
Turn the eye and shake the head
Tumble loose the feelings dead.
Yet lips murmur soft and sweet
Shower poison petals at the feet.
Trip them softly, trip them true
Another chance to play the fool.
Draw the bow and sight the sky
let yet another arrow fly.
Seeking true the greatest mark
In loving war, the subtle art.
Fill the quiver as you must,
Each wild repost and daring thrust
Draw a breath, and close the eyes
Notch the barb, the arrow flies.
Terrible isn't it? Ah, well. Practice makes perfect I hear. I will keep trying in the hopes of getting a passable poem at some point. In case you're interested, Flyguy's response, which I won't post here without obtaining his permission, addressed the preparatory moment before the arrow is let loose, the feeling of tension that fills us all before that moment comes, and how the past, the present and the future are our greatest burdens. I responded with a quick verse back:
Kiss the arrow, seal your fate. The time has come, you cannot wait.
It makes me want to keep after this miserable slog of a poem. Someone tell me to abandon it now.
Oh, an interesting thing I forgot to tell you with respect to work. Rogue doesn't work there anymore. She went back to our previous restaurant, because the old GMis gone and she quite likes the new one. I do hope she's happy. I was thinking the other day how odd it is, because I am no longer working with her, and I have since just after I started my old blog aeons ago. I commented to someone how strange it seemed, not having her in my life, whether we are friends ornot. Funnily enough, she friended me on Facebook that day. I say this in the most positive way possible, sometimes people we have loved, or people we still care for but are separated from, have a way of being a part of our lives always.
To be truthful, I have another friend I've been thinking of lately, and I know I've crossed their mind (not ego, sometimes you truly know things without being told) and I am interested to see how long it will take before they contact me. You never loose the people you love. Never. I'm waiting patiently, and we'll see. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.
That's all I've got for now, although heaven knows I've got plenty to talk about.
We'll chat soon, eh?
AGxx
Sunday, August 14, 2011
I'm Swinging on the Stars
Hi there. Sorry I dropped out for a week. I've actually been pretty busy. Also, this was the last week of freedom before Kitten went back to school so we've made an effort to spend a little extra time together.
As I'm sure you've figured out, I am not going back to school this semester. I can live with it. I will be going in the spring, so I'm letting my disappointment go. That doesn't mean I haven't got a ton of reading to do.
Lately fiction hasn't really been holding my attention. I attribute part of this to the fact that despite there being literally hundreds of books on my shelves I can read, nothing is interesting to me. I attribute the other part of it to my growing spirituality. Now, I don't want to bore you with details of my religion because I don't like blogs that advertise for Jesus and Buddah, so I figure I can keep the "My Religion is Great" to a minimum. I'm not out to convert you. Honestly.
I will say this, though. I've been fascinated. I've been reading a book by former NPR journalist Margot Adler called "Drawing Down the Moon" and its on the history of Neo-Pagans, which includes Wicca, of course. Its a really interesting peice of work, I've learned a lot about myself and about the religion -the history and philosophies behind the modern movement that is.
Anywho, as a voracious reader who can hardly get my hands on enough books, I've compiled a to-read list (a start anyway) of books related to the occult, Wicca and divinatory arts. I've got a ton of books on astrology coming to me in the mail. We received a few earlier this week that Kitten ordered. One of them tells you about your personality, flaws and the challenges you face based on your birthday. Its interesting because I felt like it resonated for me when it came to Kitten and Oscelot's personalities. I feel I can hardly be pbjective when it comes to me. Maybe I should post what it says and you can tell me what you think?
Anyway, astrology is interesting me more than I care to admit. That means at some point I am going to have to become better at math. or at least learn to be comfortable with using it. Trust me to find a way to finally force myself into math exercises for something that doesn't have to do with work or school, eh?
Speaking of work, things have been going pretty well. Oscelot likes her new job, Kitten hasn't killed the new guy in the kitchen yet, and I'm getting along okay with my coworkers, even when they annoy me. I had another moment where I wanted to tell my staff to stop talking, they were makng me feel old, the other day. I overheard them talking about pop stars at the hostess stand and one of them was telling the others how she remembered that she had a Brittany Spears lunch box When she was in first grade! By that time I was listening to her in the clubs! Terrible, terrible children I say.
Well, that's a brief update. I wanted to write, get my fingers working, I plan on coming back tonight and giving you a fuller update as to what's been going on. In specific, I feel like I want to rant about Oscelot's family. They've been making me very, very angry. And here i was, working on my anger issues. Ah well, best we can do for ourselves, right? Oh- and I want to talk about Hedgewitch- because she's awesome.
I continue to thank for your thoughts. I managed to put on 5 pounds this last couple weeks. I'm almost back to 130.
Have a happy Sunday. See you later tonight.
AGxx
As I'm sure you've figured out, I am not going back to school this semester. I can live with it. I will be going in the spring, so I'm letting my disappointment go. That doesn't mean I haven't got a ton of reading to do.
Lately fiction hasn't really been holding my attention. I attribute part of this to the fact that despite there being literally hundreds of books on my shelves I can read, nothing is interesting to me. I attribute the other part of it to my growing spirituality. Now, I don't want to bore you with details of my religion because I don't like blogs that advertise for Jesus and Buddah, so I figure I can keep the "My Religion is Great" to a minimum. I'm not out to convert you. Honestly.
I will say this, though. I've been fascinated. I've been reading a book by former NPR journalist Margot Adler called "Drawing Down the Moon" and its on the history of Neo-Pagans, which includes Wicca, of course. Its a really interesting peice of work, I've learned a lot about myself and about the religion -the history and philosophies behind the modern movement that is.
Anywho, as a voracious reader who can hardly get my hands on enough books, I've compiled a to-read list (a start anyway) of books related to the occult, Wicca and divinatory arts. I've got a ton of books on astrology coming to me in the mail. We received a few earlier this week that Kitten ordered. One of them tells you about your personality, flaws and the challenges you face based on your birthday. Its interesting because I felt like it resonated for me when it came to Kitten and Oscelot's personalities. I feel I can hardly be pbjective when it comes to me. Maybe I should post what it says and you can tell me what you think?
Anyway, astrology is interesting me more than I care to admit. That means at some point I am going to have to become better at math. or at least learn to be comfortable with using it. Trust me to find a way to finally force myself into math exercises for something that doesn't have to do with work or school, eh?
Speaking of work, things have been going pretty well. Oscelot likes her new job, Kitten hasn't killed the new guy in the kitchen yet, and I'm getting along okay with my coworkers, even when they annoy me. I had another moment where I wanted to tell my staff to stop talking, they were makng me feel old, the other day. I overheard them talking about pop stars at the hostess stand and one of them was telling the others how she remembered that she had a Brittany Spears lunch box When she was in first grade! By that time I was listening to her in the clubs! Terrible, terrible children I say.
Well, that's a brief update. I wanted to write, get my fingers working, I plan on coming back tonight and giving you a fuller update as to what's been going on. In specific, I feel like I want to rant about Oscelot's family. They've been making me very, very angry. And here i was, working on my anger issues. Ah well, best we can do for ourselves, right? Oh- and I want to talk about Hedgewitch- because she's awesome.
I continue to thank for your thoughts. I managed to put on 5 pounds this last couple weeks. I'm almost back to 130.
Have a happy Sunday. See you later tonight.
AGxx
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Day of Things Banned
A note to anyone who saw the unedited version of this post- I was typing in html and hit the wrong button so the first part posted on accident. This is the full post, you can stop wondering if I was asleep at the wheel.
I was visiting one of the links I've got in my sidebar, a lovely author called Trisha Leaver and saw that she had a post on banned books in her child's school. This got me thinking about banned books in my area of the country.
When I was in high school my school district (yes, I still live in it) had a policy that soem books had to be checked out with a permission slip from the parents. For example, if you wanted to read The Qua'ran you had to get permission from your parents. There were other books, I don't remember them right now, but I rmeember at the time a vague idea that it wasn't okay for the school to be minding my reading.
I will say this, when I was in elementary school, my school shared a library with the junior high we shared a name with. When I hit about fourth grade the books in the elementary section were starting to bore me. I asked permission to check out books from the junior high side of the library. I had to have my parents sign a note for me. They did, and I honestly don't think my mom paid the slightest attention to what I was reading at home. But I am glad the librarian made me ask them. Then again, once I was in high school, if I needed a book they wanted permission for me to check out I would either forge my mom's signature or go to the public library or a bookstore and get it. My family was very poor when I was a kid, but what little income I had left over from my after school job went to the local Barnes and Noble or Waldenbooks.
So, like I said, Trisha got me thinking, and I wanted to look at a list of the books banned in my area. This was suprisingly hard to find. There is not actually a list of books on the internet that my school district has banned or restricted. This is particularly interesting to me because today is school board elections. (There's another ban going on, I'll talk about that later)So I went to the Secretary of State's website for my state and looked up the books that have been banned (that is, taken of public or school chelves) or challenged (that means someone or a group of someones objected to them but it didn't get banned). I've actually read quite a few of them.
So I am going to bore you with a list of books from my state banned or restricted list that I have actually read. I will occasionally make a note about some of them. I think some of the books banned are suprising. (a note, I cannot tell from the SOS website whether some of these books are still banned, challenged or otherwise restricted, there is no mention of it) I will star anything I checked out without needing permission or was required to read in high school. Those are obvisouly not banned anymore
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain* I checked this out from my old church library when I was about 12. We read it in high school.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain*
All Quiet on the Western Front, Erich Maria Remarche*
Animal Farm, George Orwell * I read this my sophmore year in english. We learned all about the parallels to communism and how its evil. Seriously. I thought this book was a bore.
As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner
The Bean Tress, Babrbara Kingsolver
Beloved, Toni Morrison Another one of those books I read because we read another Toni Morrison in class at school. You'd think they wouldn't give us the works of banned authors just in case we liked them so much we did further reading on our own. Then again, maybe they don't expect teenagers to do further reading.
Black Beauty, Anna Sewell
CAll of The Wilde, Jack London
Candide, Voltaire
The Cantebury Tales, Geoffrey Chaucer* We not only read this, we hda to memorie the prolouge in the old germanic for my advanced lit class my senior year. Our teacher took the time to explain to us about the preists being syphillitic, in case we missed it. We got the total breakdown on how gross that book really is. Also, made me apprciate the movie A Knight's Tale a lot more.
Carrie, Steven King
Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
The Crucible, Arthur Miller* One of our local high schools actually did this for their spring play a few years back.
The Davinci Code, Dan Brown I assume this one is because we aren't allowed to contemplate the Bible being wrong. That said, I didn't like this book too well. It's well written but Dan Brown's tone is so superior it makes me angry.
Death of a Salesman, Arthur Miller*
The Diary of a Young Girl, Anne Frank* Read this one in junior high
Farenheight 451, Ray bradbury
Fellowship of the Ring, JRR Tolkein
Flowers for Algernon, Daniel Keyes*
For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
Frankenstein, Marie Shelley
Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell One of my favorite books of all time. Banned because of the use of the n-word.
The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinback* I still have a hard time understanding how anything this boring could be banned. (only kidding, I get why it was banned)
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald *
HArry Potter and the Socerer's Stone, JK Rowling I remember this one really specifically because at the time I had just started reading the series. Apparently a lot of the people who had wanted the book banned hadn't even read it. They just assumed that if the main character was going to a school for witchcraft and wizzardry, it was about the devil and it would teach children to worship satan.
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee* I read this when I was in seventh grade, we had it as a required book when I was a Freshman in high school. I didn't understand the meaning of teh book until I was in high school, but I was completely able to follow the plot and enjoy the book when I was younger without being scarred for life.
King Lear, Shakespere*
Lady Chetterly's Lover, DH Lawrence
The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis I bet they felt really stupid when they figured out Aslan was a Christ symbol
Lord of the Flies, William Golding * This book did scar me. I had problems for weeks after I read this. I was a sophmore in high school. Maybe it was teh symbolism that got me. Maybe I didn't want to be marooned on an island with my classmates. Whatever it was, I STILL dont like this book.
The Martian Chronicles, Ray Bradbury*
The Merchant of Venice, Shakespere*
Moll Flanders, Daniel Defoe
1984, George Orwell*
Of Mice and Men, John Steiback*
The Oddessy, Homer*
One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, Ken Kesey
Paradise Lost, John Milton*
The Pillar sof the Earth, Ken Follett
A Prayer for Owen Meany, John Irving
A Raisin in the Sun, Lorainne Hansbury*
Schindlers List, Thomas Keaneally
Snow Falling on Cedars, David Gutterson This is a great book. I honestly can's see why it was being challenged unless it was in an elementary school. It briefly mentions that sex happens, but nothing graphic goes on at all. I may have to re-read it now to see if I can figure out why it was challenged.
A Time to Kill, John Grisham
HAmlet, Shakespere*
Richard II, Shakespere*
Macbeth, Shakespere*
Twelfth Night, Shakespere*
Ulysses, James Joyce
A Wrinkle In Time, Madeline L'Engle*
On this list that I found are also about 20 other books I have on my shelves that I have been meaning to read. I'll definately have to get on that.
I would like to hear from my readers (all seven of you!) whether or not there are any books you think should be banned, or if there are books you've read that were banned or banned at the time. Thoughts on my list? Thoughts on my school district making me read books that were banned by the state at one point or another? (I might also mention, I read all of those almost exclusively during my freshman and sophmore years)
Honestly, I understand how some books probably don't need to be in junior high and high school libraries. For example, The Joy of Sex not really needed for academic achievement unless you're in a sociology class. Sociology is only offered as a dual college credit course in my town anyway. I get the whole freedom of speech and reading what you want, but then, that's what a public library and the bookstore are for.
It's hard for me to draw that line because I do know awesome parents that keep tabs on what their kids read and will know if the book is healthy for them or not. On the other hand, most parents will not keep track. Mine didn't. I was reading Lois duncan when I was ten years old. I probably didn't need to be. Of course, it didn't hurt me at all.
In other news, there is a vote in my city today to ban smoking in all public places and to ban alcohol consumption in movie theaters and other family venues. I haven't had anythign to vote for since I moved in with Kitten just after the last presidential election, so I haven't changed my voting district. I don't get to go vote today. Oscelot and Kitten are going to vote. I'm a smoker, and I am avidly following how this works out. It's likely I will post something on the vote later today.
I hope everyone is having a lovely day. Whether it is banned or not, go read a book soon.
AGx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)