Now Tell Me What's Your Sign?

I just had to post this from Sakura's blog because it made me laugh and its totally true. 

 Guess what sign I am?

Zodiac Signs and how they deal with Anger

• Aries: I WILL UNLEASH A WORLD OF RAGE UNLIKE ONE YOU'VE NEVER FUCKING KNOWN.
• Taurus: Stop it. No, seriously, fucking STOP IT. HOLD STILL, STRUGGLING MAKES IT HARDER FOR ME TO CHOKE YOU.
• Gemini: BITCHASS CUNT FUCKFACE DIPSHIT ASSHOLE.
• Cancer: *sobbing silently in their own corner* Just leave me alone.
• Leo: *INDISCERNIBLE NOISES OF RAGE* ...wait...what was I mad about again? Let's go get ice cream.
• Virgo: No really, I'm fine. *writing out an extremely detailed plot of your eventual murder.*
• Libra: HOW DARE YOU! I'M SO OFFENDED RIGHT NOW, I CAN'T EVEN. I NEED TO GO BLOG ABOUT THIS INJUSTICE ON TUMBLR.
• Scorpio: Please, I don't get angry. I'm above that nonsense. Oh, but by the way? Your ass looks fat in those jeans, your makeup is atrocious, and you could stand to take a shower. No one really likes you.
• Sagittarius: No. I'm right and you're wrong. Fuck your mother, I'M RIGHT! The moon landing was TOTALLY FAKED. I even have proof from *THREE* different websites that I skimmed! OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU'RE SUCH A PETTY DICKHEAD, I'M SO DONE WITH THIS. *slams door*
• Capricorn: The honest to God problem here is that you don't like the fact that I'm better than you.
• Aquarius: Excuse me, I have to go collect my eyes as I rolled them so hard they fell out of my head.
• Pisces: Um guys, I really don't like fighting. Can we please get along? Oh GOD THIS IS ALL MY FAULT. I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON.
• (Note that this is my own version of the "Zodiac Temperament" post that's floating around. These are more true to the characteristics that each sign actually embodies when angry. The Fire signs are passionate and quick to anger, the Earth signs are slow to anger, the Water signs are extremely emotional and will attempt to act as though they aren't angry, and the Air signs react quickly and directly. It's definitely not as funny as the other one, but it's at least more true to life.)