Saturday, August 6, 2011

Can You Make it Last?

I'm not going to lie, if there are any of you out there who read my last post and lit the candle for me, thank you! In the last two days I have felt better than I have in months. I've been able to eat real food and enjoy it, I've had more energy, and I haven't been nearly as grumpy. I appreciate it if you were thinking of me.

I had a great couple of days off work. First, I woke up both days to a thunderstorm. Now, I know in the middle of summer most people wouldn't think that was a good thing. Unfortuantely for the last month we've had more days of 95 degree plus temperatures than not. I think one of my coworkers said she heard on the news that we only had four days below ninety five in July. While it does tend to get hot here in the summer, this is unnatually hot. And it doesn't look like its going to stop terribly soon. We get a bit of a break next week and then its supposed to get hot again. i'm disappointed. Normally we only have our air conditioning on for about two weeks out of the whole summer. Its been so hot we've had it on since early June. I just want to open the windows and let the fresh air in. Its part of the joy of the warmer months.

Anyway, I woke up to rain, and a lot of it. I was thankful. I'm pretty sure my plants were thankful too. We got to see some blooms come out on our roses and the cats look way less miserable than they had. A bonus, because the kittens outside were so hot we'd been taking them in until the temp dropped back below 100 and now they think they need to be inside all the time. They do, just not in my home.

Thursday I as able to meet up with an old friend of mine. I grew up next door to her grandparents when I was a little girl. We used to play together all the time. After we started high school we lost track of each other. I would call our reunion a fortunate coincidence, but you know I don't belive in coincidence. Turns out Hedgewitch lives across the street from Black Magic. When she friended her on facebook, she saw my profile and was able to get back in touch with me.

I was delighted. She is the same wonderful, sensetive, fun person I remember as a child, only all grown up. We have a lot of similar interests, and we had no trouble whiling the day away together. She came to meet me at my house and we went to lunch together. I didn't know how long she would hang out, having a husband and a life and all that, but we came back to my house and she ended up staying and chatting for almost five hours. It was amazing. She also had a chance to meet Kitten, Oscelot and Sakura, and they loved her. She has a good energy. I'm looking forward to hearing from her again very soon.

Speaking of things I am looking forward to, tomorrow morining I am having breakfast with one of my coworkers. Flyguy is a lot of fun and he's my age, which is such a relief at my workplace. I feel like I actually have someone my own age to relate to and talk to. I don't feel out of touch all the time. As dorky as it sounds, I was nervous giving him my phone number. I assume all of my coworkers tolerate me, rather than actually like me. He's been shooting me messages every now and again, and I like him better each time we talk. He's a nice, clean, stable person. I need friends like that in my life. Anyway, breakfast should be fun, and even though it means I'll wind up at work a half an hour earlier than I am scheduled, I'm not too bitter. I used to go have breakfast with some of my former coworkers every saturday, and I kind of miss it. I like being able to talk to people that I work with.

Speaking of talking to people at work, I won't be able to chat to Oscelot anymore. She's got a new job, funnily enough, at The Happy Waffle. She's really happy there, and making a ton of money. I'm glad for her. They're also calling her by her preferred name rather than her given name, which I think makes her feel a lot more comfortable. She gets to see Kitten all the time now, and I have to admit, I appreciate her company more now that I'm not with her 24 hours a day. It was rather annoying for this first week, though, because everyone keeps remarking that I must feel really lonely without her there, as though I didn't work at Casa Bueno for three years before she started. Ah, well, I hate admitting it, but I had gotten accustomed to having someone who would always smile at me and always had a kind word. We'll see if my mood suffers. I certainly hope it doesn't. i'm immensley thankful though, now that she's out of the insurance plan at Casa Bueno, which doesn't cover anything at all and has no network providers in our city, she may actually have a chance to get real, decent medical care, and she needs that. I'll be happy to see her healthier and with doctors who are able to help her rather than make halfhazard guesses as to how to treat her condition.

School's getting ready to start, and I know soon I'll be missing Kitten. I've forgotten over the summer how taxing the schoolyear is, since she goes to school all day on her days off from work. I'm also fighting the disappointment of not getting to go back this fall, but the girls have promised me they are setting aside money to pay for me taking classes next semester, so its only three more months. To be perfectly honest, I've almost gotten to the point of giving up. I don't want to. I really want to go, but after years of thinking about how badly I want to go back, and not being able to, it seems silly to get my hopes up. I think I'm decent at the job I do now, and I think I'm doingokay as a manager. I could do it for the rest of my life and not be loved any less by the people who matter. Still, I want to try. I get frustrated. I do.

Mom's birthday is tomorrow. I hadn't found anything I though she might want or need as a gift. She's living with my grandmother right now, so more fun things to pack into the house don't seem practical. I wouldn't dream of shopping for clothes for her, and I can't even take a stab at the kind of book she might want. She reads a lot of things, but its hit and miss as to whether or not she likes them. I've decided later this week I'm going to take her to a nice dinner, and hope that its the thought that counts. In the past, I've always gotten her ornate gifts, and packaged them prettily, and taken her to dinner, and for night on the town. This year, that's not really in the cards for me. Not to mention she and I work such different schedules its almost impossible to arrange a day to have lunch , let alone a whole day to do things. I'll be sure to call her tomorrow, and tell her happy birthday. I'll make plans with her to go to dinner. It'll work out I hope. Bet me money, though, that my grandmother calls to remind me to call her, even though I have it marked on my calendar and my mom has mentioned it at least twice in every phone conversation we've had over the last two weeks. Ah, well.

This month is also the month of Kitten and I's one year anniversay with Oscelot. It doesn't seem like its been that long, but it also seems like its been forever, it that makes sense. I feel like I am still learning about her. Of course, she is still learning about herself. With the strides she has made mentally in the last few months, its like she's a new person. I mean, she's the same, but she seems more alert, more emotional, more interesting. I like it. I'm proud to see the way she's taken on her new life. She does it with finesse. I see her outlining new goals for herself and reaching them. It makes me so happy. Not to mention, in case I never have, she's a really patient, giving, loving person. She makes being in a relationship so easy. She is a wonderful partner. I'm thankful to have her every day. I'll have to make sure I tell her that more often. Kitten and I would not be the same without her. Even with the unique structure of our relationship, it feels like we aren't really whole without her as part of our life. I'm so glad we found her.

Well, that's me in a nutshell. I won't bore you with the tedium of my life too much longer. Tomorrow, if I have time, I'm plannign a post on the new US credit rating and a cute rant about how our politicians are making us look like bigger assholes than we normally are. That takes talent.

Wishing you well this late evening, and hoping you find something beautiful in your life to celebrate this coming week.


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