So I'm starting week two of the temp job at Alphabet Soup and so far things are still pretty boring.
I may have mentioned it last post, but last week I spent most of the week going through a list of nearly (I checked today)650 client files that needed to be cataloged and destroyed. For all I was concerned that I might be under-qualified to work in this office, the most I ever did was pick up a highlighter and mess around in Excel. Though, to be honest, I think I spent an equal amount of time simply watching or trying to figure out exactly what goes on in the office. Not exactly challenging stuff.
Today I came to a startling revelation- I think some of the people in the office think I'm an idiot. Not in that "they're so much more genius than I am way" but more of a "should we let her use the copier" kind of way. Come to think of it, I've never seen the copier if they have one. Hmmm. I came to this conclusion after realizing that the other temp Katy Kaye (I love the alliteration in her real name, so I'm keeping it up here) is working on scanning and messing around with the other stuff on the computer while I sit in the floor of my boss's office destroying files (what I did most of the day today). Apparently, Katie is much smarter than me, if she gets to mess with payroll and grant work and stuff. I'd be offended except I truly don't care and honestly, we're being paid the same as temps, so I'm getting off rather easy, aren't I? Plus, I like organizational work. And I got to start that this afternoon when I finished all my cross-referencing. Again, though, Boss seemed surprised that I was able to complete the list on Excel so fast (good grief, it was just deleting stuff) and impressed that I thought to make an index of all the files I am packing away while I do it, so that they are easily located. Almost insulting, but I'll let it go.
There was also that moment when Paper Factory, another one of the higher up types, came into Boss's office to do some work with her. While she stepped out PF asked me if I was normally a student at the university. I looked up long enough to tell her no, I was normally a house wife, and then went back to my task. She made a noise somewhere between a confused grunt and a squeak of disdain. I let it pass. She (from what I can tell) thinks she's pretty hot stuff already. There's no point in me trying to impress her with other jobs I've had or my wonderful mental or organizational skills. She's going to assume Kmom got me the job whether I was qualified or not. She's pretty well right anyway. After all, I did and she did.
I'm looking forward to another few days of packing things away. I'm not terribly sure what I'll do after that, but I'm sure they can come up with something. They've got a lot on their plates.
In other news, Kitten's birthday celebration was nice. We played Bingo, and even though none of us won it was fun. I got to talk to some of Kitten's coworkers outside of work, and they all seem pretty nice. She had a good time, and that's really what means something, right?
I've still not heard back on my book yet, but I suppose I should keep being patient. I also got a new computer last week, so I'm having a good time adjusting to my new keyboard and having internet that runs at a normal speed. Its pretty cool. Its been very useful as I search for fun places for us to go see while we're in South Carolina. I can't wait for that vacation. Although, I think my mom is a little panicked now that she knows we've decided to go whitewater rafting on the Chattooga River. I think it will be awesome. My mom thinks I'll be coming home in a pine box. I'm more concerned with the fact that SC seems to have the highest concentration, with the greatest variety, of poisonous snakes in the US. Good times. The state park at Myrtle Beach actually has a warning that there are so many copperheads that you should never wear open toes shoes. Even in the water. Creepy.
Otherwise, life seems to be going on normally. Nothing earth shattering here.
Anything fun going on with you all?
AGxx
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
She Works Hard For The Money
Despite the fact that I absolutely love being a housewife, I have a job right now. No panicking. We're not strapped for cash or anything. This certainly isn't permanent. But Kittens mom (Kmom, from now on) works in an office at the local university and they're in desperate need of help. They're moving buildings in a month or so and things get crazy around a move. Throw in that their normal office coordinator moved to another job, and they're seriously short handed. So she asked me if I wanted to come in and temp.
Now, I had originally declined to apply for the office coordinating job because I didn't feel like it would be good for me, and I also didn't think I would be up to it. And having seen the job firsthand, I can say without a doubt that I wouldn't have been able to hack it. So I'm glad I made the decision I did. That said, that is nothing like what I am doing now. Right now, I'm sort of working as a clean up clerk and jack of all trades. Today was my second day on the job.
Its an interesting place.
The first thing I'll say is that I am, without a doubt, the least educated, dumbest person who works there. Now, I'm not being down on myself, truly. I'm a smart woman. But these people...they're geniuses. Of course, they also work with businesses and numbers and all of those things that I don't usually deal with. I'm already out of my depth when speaking with them. But the whole lot of them are really, really intelligent. Yesterday the longest conversation I had not pertaining to work was a discussion about the benefits of Title 9 for women. Seriously. That's the water cooler talk around the office. There's another woman working there who's writing a book or a screenplay or something like that. And it sounds like she knows what she's doing. Even the secretary is pretty darn sharp. Yeah. Lots of smart people.
And its not a casual office either. I dress up to work. All the guys look like Mr. Rogers only young and good looking. But there is some serious argyle and neck-tie action going on there. All the women dress nice. My boss wears some seriously intense power outfits. Its insane. They're all business there.
Which is why I was so surprised to see how terribly NOT ORGANIZED everything is. And that's my job. Help with the move, make things more streamlined. Now that I can do. I did have a good laugh because I was starting a new file and I was in their (train wreck of a) supply closet looking for file folders. When I found them I thought, I wonder what color they use for this type of file. Then I laughed, because they don't have a color coding system. It seems like they have no system at all. I've told Kitten I'm going to beg them to keep me on long enough to let me re-do their filing system and make their offices easier to access from an organization point of view. I'll even do it for free if the money isn't there. Its that bad. One of the higher ups...her office looks like a paper and file factory exploded next to a laptop store. Its frightening. And my boss, she has like, four inboxes, I think. Yeah, no system whatsoever.
In spite of all of this, I feel like I am being overpaid. I'm making substantially more than I made as a manager at Casa Bueno and its a little frightening given how little I'm actually doing. Yesterday I went through a bunch of files and made sure that they were all organized by date, most recent on top. Then I brought them into the office and set them somewhere for my boss to decide which stuff from the folders she wanted to scan into their system since they're also trying to go paperless when they move. Frightening stuff. Also, to me it made no sense to put them in order. Why not scan first, then order them the proper way, rather than tearing them up after all that work? I have no idea, but I suppose that's their prerogative.
I fully expected today I would spend the morning scanning the papers into the system. Someone else, apparently, had done it while I was away last night. (I only work from 9-1) Instead, this morning I was given a list of about 200 inactive files to find in their cabinets to be destroyed, after cross checking them to make sure they were actually inactive. I only found about 25-30 of them. So I spent the rest of my day highlighting the old "destroyed files" documents to cross reference the ones on my list that were not in the cabinets but for some reason still in the system. I found most of them, but then, I didn't make it very far back. I assume that I'll spend the rest of my morning tomorrow finding the rest. Of course, I would also assume I would then destroy the files and delete them from the system, but then again, I can never really tell what's going to happen. Maybe I'll be doing something completely different. There's never any telling.
I mean, I spent the better part of an hour yesterday listening to my boss talk on the phone about a bank account and panic about how far behind she was. She keeps telling me all these things she wanted to do...I felt a little bit like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. I had no pen or pencil or paper and was trying to keep in my head what I was supposed to be doing. Even then, today I came in and waited a good twenty minutes before I was given instructions on what to do. And I was on the clock. I spent another twenty minutes watching one of the Mr. Rogers guys add a second screen to my boss' computer. That was thrilling. Then we talked about the prints she had on her walls. Andrew Llyod Wright, I think. They're carvings of some sort.
The work is easy. I'm not challenged at all, which is interesting, because I know there is challenging stuff in their office. I'm just wondering if they're afraid of overtaxing me, or if they're just so behind that this is truly what needs to be done. I've mentioned to Kmom that my boss needs a secretary. She said she was pretty sure that was what they hired me for, though I've yet to touch a letter or whatever. Of course, I am messing with the filing, so maybe that's what she means.
All that said, I'm having a good time. It gives me something to do during the day. I'm still getting my writing done, and I managed all the housework between the hours I dropped the girls off at work (our Hondra has an oil leak, so we're back to sharing the truck) and when I had to go in at nine. I love to organize things, so this is totally my cup of tea. I am really shy, and I remember it now, because I have a hard time talking to people in the office, even when they make an effort. I was in Mr. Rogers #1's office today for most of the morning because the cabinets are in there. He tried really hard to make small talk. I mostly grunted in reply. When I did talk it was because I had to ask a question. I felt bad. He seems really nice and I know he was trying to put me at ease...no such luck. Also? He types really, really fast. Like, I thought I was fast until I listened to the sound of his hands on the keyboard for about an hour. I've decided I need to spend more time at the keyboard, because he is easily at somewhere around 150 WPM. He has to be. I type about 88 WPM corrected, and I know I don't sound like that when I type. It was almost like a symphony.
I'll be sure to keep you all posted about my work at Alphabet Soup office. That's my name for it because the title of their office is really long, like 15 words and it doesn't make a pronounceable acronym. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun tales before the month is out. That's how long they think they'll n eed me. I'm betting I'll still be there in March. We'll see. I move fast. Maybe they will too.
Whatever you're doing, have fun.
AGxx
Now, I had originally declined to apply for the office coordinating job because I didn't feel like it would be good for me, and I also didn't think I would be up to it. And having seen the job firsthand, I can say without a doubt that I wouldn't have been able to hack it. So I'm glad I made the decision I did. That said, that is nothing like what I am doing now. Right now, I'm sort of working as a clean up clerk and jack of all trades. Today was my second day on the job.
Its an interesting place.
The first thing I'll say is that I am, without a doubt, the least educated, dumbest person who works there. Now, I'm not being down on myself, truly. I'm a smart woman. But these people...they're geniuses. Of course, they also work with businesses and numbers and all of those things that I don't usually deal with. I'm already out of my depth when speaking with them. But the whole lot of them are really, really intelligent. Yesterday the longest conversation I had not pertaining to work was a discussion about the benefits of Title 9 for women. Seriously. That's the water cooler talk around the office. There's another woman working there who's writing a book or a screenplay or something like that. And it sounds like she knows what she's doing. Even the secretary is pretty darn sharp. Yeah. Lots of smart people.
And its not a casual office either. I dress up to work. All the guys look like Mr. Rogers only young and good looking. But there is some serious argyle and neck-tie action going on there. All the women dress nice. My boss wears some seriously intense power outfits. Its insane. They're all business there.
Which is why I was so surprised to see how terribly NOT ORGANIZED everything is. And that's my job. Help with the move, make things more streamlined. Now that I can do. I did have a good laugh because I was starting a new file and I was in their (train wreck of a) supply closet looking for file folders. When I found them I thought, I wonder what color they use for this type of file. Then I laughed, because they don't have a color coding system. It seems like they have no system at all. I've told Kitten I'm going to beg them to keep me on long enough to let me re-do their filing system and make their offices easier to access from an organization point of view. I'll even do it for free if the money isn't there. Its that bad. One of the higher ups...her office looks like a paper and file factory exploded next to a laptop store. Its frightening. And my boss, she has like, four inboxes, I think. Yeah, no system whatsoever.
In spite of all of this, I feel like I am being overpaid. I'm making substantially more than I made as a manager at Casa Bueno and its a little frightening given how little I'm actually doing. Yesterday I went through a bunch of files and made sure that they were all organized by date, most recent on top. Then I brought them into the office and set them somewhere for my boss to decide which stuff from the folders she wanted to scan into their system since they're also trying to go paperless when they move. Frightening stuff. Also, to me it made no sense to put them in order. Why not scan first, then order them the proper way, rather than tearing them up after all that work? I have no idea, but I suppose that's their prerogative.
I fully expected today I would spend the morning scanning the papers into the system. Someone else, apparently, had done it while I was away last night. (I only work from 9-1) Instead, this morning I was given a list of about 200 inactive files to find in their cabinets to be destroyed, after cross checking them to make sure they were actually inactive. I only found about 25-30 of them. So I spent the rest of my day highlighting the old "destroyed files" documents to cross reference the ones on my list that were not in the cabinets but for some reason still in the system. I found most of them, but then, I didn't make it very far back. I assume that I'll spend the rest of my morning tomorrow finding the rest. Of course, I would also assume I would then destroy the files and delete them from the system, but then again, I can never really tell what's going to happen. Maybe I'll be doing something completely different. There's never any telling.
I mean, I spent the better part of an hour yesterday listening to my boss talk on the phone about a bank account and panic about how far behind she was. She keeps telling me all these things she wanted to do...I felt a little bit like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. I had no pen or pencil or paper and was trying to keep in my head what I was supposed to be doing. Even then, today I came in and waited a good twenty minutes before I was given instructions on what to do. And I was on the clock. I spent another twenty minutes watching one of the Mr. Rogers guys add a second screen to my boss' computer. That was thrilling. Then we talked about the prints she had on her walls. Andrew Llyod Wright, I think. They're carvings of some sort.
The work is easy. I'm not challenged at all, which is interesting, because I know there is challenging stuff in their office. I'm just wondering if they're afraid of overtaxing me, or if they're just so behind that this is truly what needs to be done. I've mentioned to Kmom that my boss needs a secretary. She said she was pretty sure that was what they hired me for, though I've yet to touch a letter or whatever. Of course, I am messing with the filing, so maybe that's what she means.
All that said, I'm having a good time. It gives me something to do during the day. I'm still getting my writing done, and I managed all the housework between the hours I dropped the girls off at work (our Hondra has an oil leak, so we're back to sharing the truck) and when I had to go in at nine. I love to organize things, so this is totally my cup of tea. I am really shy, and I remember it now, because I have a hard time talking to people in the office, even when they make an effort. I was in Mr. Rogers #1's office today for most of the morning because the cabinets are in there. He tried really hard to make small talk. I mostly grunted in reply. When I did talk it was because I had to ask a question. I felt bad. He seems really nice and I know he was trying to put me at ease...no such luck. Also? He types really, really fast. Like, I thought I was fast until I listened to the sound of his hands on the keyboard for about an hour. I've decided I need to spend more time at the keyboard, because he is easily at somewhere around 150 WPM. He has to be. I type about 88 WPM corrected, and I know I don't sound like that when I type. It was almost like a symphony.
I'll be sure to keep you all posted about my work at Alphabet Soup office. That's my name for it because the title of their office is really long, like 15 words and it doesn't make a pronounceable acronym. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun tales before the month is out. That's how long they think they'll n eed me. I'm betting I'll still be there in March. We'll see. I move fast. Maybe they will too.
Whatever you're doing, have fun.
AGxx
Saturday, January 5, 2013
It Must Be True, I Read It In The Daily Mail
As a writer and avid reader I am always interested in how people (and media) view the literary world. Most of the people who know me as a writer and reader know that I read a lot of reviews, that I am pretty in touch with the literary community at large. There isn't a whole lot that surprises me anymore. However, this article by The UK Daily Mail really threw me for a loop.
Now, because I am all about source material, I suggest you take a moment to read it. Go on. I'll wait. Back? Sweet. For those of you who know that I'm going to surmise the article and didn't read it- bravo. It says, in essence, that there is a disturbing trend in Young Adult (YA) literature of books that involve harsh and realistic situations in teen life-- suicide, self-harm, terminal illness, etc. It further says that these books have a harmful effect on their readers, that children will read them and be emotionally damaged by them. Not only that, but they are more likely to engage in self-harm, suicide attempts and inappropriate sexual behaviors. It cites several young adult books, though the two most often referenced are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It is a cautionary style article that almost reads as an open letter to parents and educators warning of the dangers of what they call "sick lit." Let your kids read this, it says, and they'll turn in to sexual deviants, drug users, cutters- they'll even try to kill themselves. Stuff like this, they say, is just too depressing. Especially since these books are being marketed to12 year olds.
I completely disagree with this article. Completely and whole-heartedly. In part, I think this sort of opinion treats young adults as though they are stupid, mindless lemmings. The idea that just because a teen reads about a character committing suicide means they'll want to is silly. Give the kids some credit. While you're handing out that credit, give them some for being able to handle emotionally difficult situations. By the time you are twelve you've likely had some sort of real-life experience dealing with grief, suffering, unhappiness, sex, poverty or low self-esteem. They know what sex is. They know what cancer is. If they've even caught a glimpse of the television they know there are bad things in the world. They aren't morons. Young people are usually far more observant that adults give them credit for. Moreover, I think there's been some sort of disconnect, because I don't know that they're technically paying attention to the difference between Middle Grade literature, YA12+ literature and YA14+ literature, all of which have very different content.
Laying those things aside, though, I'd like to know why it is the Daily Mail feels that other YA books might be preferable to the ones they object to because they are too "real life" for the kids to handle? I think there's a strong argument to be made, using their logic, that you shouldn't let children read at all. Let's work with this theory that kids are gullible and they can be emotionally damaged by what they read. Let's also agree they might choose to act out in a particular manner because they identify with a character. Running with these assumptions, lets look at other popular YA books and see how they might affect the children.
Let's just jump in with the most obvious. Harry Potter (JK Rowling). Great, intelligent, healthy books- right? Heavens no. Harry Potter teaches children to subvert authority. Harry, Hermione and Ron are constantly breaking rules and disrespecting authority figures and they are constantly rewarded for it. It teaches them that its okay to do bad things if your parents do it too. Draco Malfoy makes out like a bandit at the end of the series, no nevermind that he's responsible for the deaths of several people, the mauling of Bill Weasley and any other number of bad things that happen throughout the books. It teaches our kids that smart people like Hermione, Luna and Ginny are really only worth having around if you can get something out of them or if they're good looking. What's that you say? Harry Potter teaches kids witchcraft? Oh, well, let's just abandon them for something more suitable.
How about Twilight? (Stephanie Meyer) That's a popular YA book. Here's a nice healthy love story about a girl who falls for a good looking guy. She likes him even though he treats her like crap. She likes him even though he's emotionally manipulative and controlling. We'll just ignore the fact that he wants to kill her at first. Or that he's almost 100 years older than her. Or that he's dead. Barring those things, Twilight also teaches us that it is okay to lie to our parents. They're probably overbearing- what with the caring about us and wanting us to be safe and all. It teaches us that it is okay to take unnecessary and stupid risks for the people we love, especially when they've done something stupid that puts their life in danger. Moreover, it teaches us that if the boy/girl we like doesn't like us back, or dumps us, its okay to act like life is over. I mean, there's nothing to life as a teenager outside of having a boy/girlfriend. Right? And those people who actually love you, who want to take care of you, who want to make you feel like you're the most special person ever? Screw them. They don't understand who you really are. Oh, you don't like Twilight either? Too much vampire and werewolf action? Let's move on then.
How about The Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins)? Now there is a cultural phenomenon. I hear a lot of schools are assigning it to their students to read. Well, they shouldn't. First off, this is a post-democracy North America. We should never suggest to teenagers that there might come a time when democracy is not the accepted world-wide governing standard. Also, this book is set after ice-caps melt and nuclear weapons have been used. That's too upsetting to the kids. We don't want them to think about the social or political or environmental consequences of their actions. That's too upsetting for them. Worse, this is a book where kids kill other kids. Yes, I am aware that the main characters will die if they don't kill the other kids. It doesn't matter. Killing is wrong and they should take the high road. Reading this will cause children to think it is acceptable to kill people. Worse, it will breed in them the desire to use weapons. It will. What's worse, one of the heroes (Haymich) is an alcoholic. It glorifies drinking. And it paints an undesirable picture of people who want to live in comfort, and who care about fads and fashion. These books clearly are trying to impart socialist lessons that are anti-consumer culture. We can't have that. This book also blatantly glorifies sexuality. Katniss and two different boys kiss. Sometimes more than once. And Katniss and Peeta sleep together in the same bed, even. The end of the series is also wildly inappropriate. All of that death and war is upsetting, and Katniss being medicated with the future equivalent of Morphine tells children its okay to use drugs, even prescription ones, to deal with depression. They will eventually draw the conclusion that using drugs for other purposes is okay. Didn't you see how they painted the morphlings from District 6 in a completely sympathetic light?
Perhaps the problem with these books is that they're too recent. We should address the classics we read when we were growing up. There was nothing upsetting in those books. I mean, nothing that would scar a child like these current ones do...
Except that the March girls in Little Women (Alcott) are poor. And Beth dies. And several times in the book its rather implied that they're on the brink of starvation. In Hiedi (Spyri) one of the main characters is a cripple. Ditto The Secret Garden (Hodgeson-Burnett). On top of that, it teaches children its okay to be brats if you're ill or you've had bad things happen to you. Good lord, A Little Princess (also by Burnett) teaches children that if you're smart and good and well behaved and rich you'll be well loved, but that if you are smart and good and well behaved and poor you'll be mistreated and you'll live an unhappy life because of it. Woodsong (Paulsen) is far too graphic with animal violence and only teaches children escapism- what kind of person actually lives in the woods and raises dogs for sled racing? No normal person. You definitely can't let them read fairy tales. Not the real ones! They're graphic, violent and full of inappropriate language and witchcraft and such. I'd tell you to let them see the clean, Disney versions of them, but since Disney loves gay people, we can't have that either.
Yes, indeed, children's literature is clearly unhealthy. What we really need is to get back to good old-fashioned morals. Children should read the Bible. After all, the Bible has no graphic violence, sexism, racism, or blatant sexuality. Nope, none at all. Wait- what? It does? Well, hell.
I think its clear, then, what has to be done. We can't let children read anymore. Nope. Can't do it. If we do there's no getting around it, our children will be damaged. Or so goes the logic of the UK Daily Mail.
Honestly, I read a lot as a child. Not just the books I mentioned (well, the classics, the others hadn't been published yet.) but many others. I wasn't scarred by The Goosebumps books(Stein). Sweet Valley High (Pascal) had no effect on my burgeoning sexuality or my self esteem. I was not irreparably damaged when I read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Schwartz). The Boxcar Children (Warner) didn't make me want to run away. The first time I stumbled across a romance novel at 13 I didn't immediately run out and have sex. I wasn't scarred by the trials and tribulations of Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House series. Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew made me no more nosy than I already was. James and The Giant Peach (Dahl) didn't cause me to cuss, or want to run away, it didn't make me afraid of bugs. Honestly the only effect that book had on me at the time was a propensity to try a rhyme all of my words and sing like the bugs. By the time I was in 4th grade I was checking out books from the Jr. High side of my school's library. I remained unscathed. As I got older I branched into more adult, more graphic books. I've survived all of those as well.
Here's the thing, children are generally aware of the world around them. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you. Its amazing what they learn, what they absorb and their capacity for compassion, love and internalizing the life lessons that books like the ones I mentioned teach. Literature is a tool in which writers reach out to the world. Sometimes it is to make a connection, to teach a lesson or to share an experience. But all of those reasons contribute to our world view as we read. All of them give us the ability to live through others, to experience that which might never happen to us, or give us the opportunity to see that we are never quite as alone in our trials and sufferings as we think we are.
As a child, books were one of my greatest companions. I came from a broken home. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother, bless her, worked all the time to support us and was often from home. By the time I was the age of a YA14+ reader I knew all about terminal illnesses, death, sexual abuse and poverty. I'd seen through other school mates first hand what drugs, violence and alienation could do to a person. I knew what it was like to be poor, a little strange, and unpopular. Through all of this, though, I read. And I read. And I read. I was in seventh grade the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee). As a 13 year old girl it didn't horrify me, or hurt me or scare me. It spoke to me, in a way I could hardly express. A year after I read Oliver Twist (Dickens) and the violence, poverty and sadness in that book hurt me no more than any other book I read.
What I discovered as I read was that I was not alone in the great human experience. I was not the only one who had felt the things I was feeling. I found comfort. I found acceptance. I found peace reading those books. That, to me, makes every word I read during that time worthwhile.
It is my sincere hope that people will not take this article to heart. What I do hope happens is that parents, teachers and other adults become more aware of the widespread and positive experience that literature can provide. That they realize that their young adults can relate to these works and that they should be not only encouraging them to read, but encouraging them to discuss what they're reading and how it makes them feel. Maybe, just maybe, if we take the time to do that we will emerge with a well-read, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted generation who can reflect well on their place in the world, and how they are connected to it at large.
We can hope, right?
I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts.
Keep Reading.
AGxx
A note and disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the books I mentioned. I did not write them. That is why I put the authors' names in for you. Additionally, I would encourage you to read any or all of these books if you can. Most of them are great works of literature, and I am proud to have read them. Also, in case you had not caught the tenor of my arguments, I actually quite like most of the books I mentioned.
Also, the title comes from a lyric from The Daily Mail song, which was John Greene's only response to the article. Having followed the link, I can only suggest you do so as well. Its worth a good laugh, anyway.
Now, because I am all about source material, I suggest you take a moment to read it. Go on. I'll wait. Back? Sweet. For those of you who know that I'm going to surmise the article and didn't read it- bravo. It says, in essence, that there is a disturbing trend in Young Adult (YA) literature of books that involve harsh and realistic situations in teen life-- suicide, self-harm, terminal illness, etc. It further says that these books have a harmful effect on their readers, that children will read them and be emotionally damaged by them. Not only that, but they are more likely to engage in self-harm, suicide attempts and inappropriate sexual behaviors. It cites several young adult books, though the two most often referenced are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It is a cautionary style article that almost reads as an open letter to parents and educators warning of the dangers of what they call "sick lit." Let your kids read this, it says, and they'll turn in to sexual deviants, drug users, cutters- they'll even try to kill themselves. Stuff like this, they say, is just too depressing. Especially since these books are being marketed to12 year olds.
I completely disagree with this article. Completely and whole-heartedly. In part, I think this sort of opinion treats young adults as though they are stupid, mindless lemmings. The idea that just because a teen reads about a character committing suicide means they'll want to is silly. Give the kids some credit. While you're handing out that credit, give them some for being able to handle emotionally difficult situations. By the time you are twelve you've likely had some sort of real-life experience dealing with grief, suffering, unhappiness, sex, poverty or low self-esteem. They know what sex is. They know what cancer is. If they've even caught a glimpse of the television they know there are bad things in the world. They aren't morons. Young people are usually far more observant that adults give them credit for. Moreover, I think there's been some sort of disconnect, because I don't know that they're technically paying attention to the difference between Middle Grade literature, YA12+ literature and YA14+ literature, all of which have very different content.
Laying those things aside, though, I'd like to know why it is the Daily Mail feels that other YA books might be preferable to the ones they object to because they are too "real life" for the kids to handle? I think there's a strong argument to be made, using their logic, that you shouldn't let children read at all. Let's work with this theory that kids are gullible and they can be emotionally damaged by what they read. Let's also agree they might choose to act out in a particular manner because they identify with a character. Running with these assumptions, lets look at other popular YA books and see how they might affect the children.
Let's just jump in with the most obvious. Harry Potter (JK Rowling). Great, intelligent, healthy books- right? Heavens no. Harry Potter teaches children to subvert authority. Harry, Hermione and Ron are constantly breaking rules and disrespecting authority figures and they are constantly rewarded for it. It teaches them that its okay to do bad things if your parents do it too. Draco Malfoy makes out like a bandit at the end of the series, no nevermind that he's responsible for the deaths of several people, the mauling of Bill Weasley and any other number of bad things that happen throughout the books. It teaches our kids that smart people like Hermione, Luna and Ginny are really only worth having around if you can get something out of them or if they're good looking. What's that you say? Harry Potter teaches kids witchcraft? Oh, well, let's just abandon them for something more suitable.
How about Twilight? (Stephanie Meyer) That's a popular YA book. Here's a nice healthy love story about a girl who falls for a good looking guy. She likes him even though he treats her like crap. She likes him even though he's emotionally manipulative and controlling. We'll just ignore the fact that he wants to kill her at first. Or that he's almost 100 years older than her. Or that he's dead. Barring those things, Twilight also teaches us that it is okay to lie to our parents. They're probably overbearing- what with the caring about us and wanting us to be safe and all. It teaches us that it is okay to take unnecessary and stupid risks for the people we love, especially when they've done something stupid that puts their life in danger. Moreover, it teaches us that if the boy/girl we like doesn't like us back, or dumps us, its okay to act like life is over. I mean, there's nothing to life as a teenager outside of having a boy/girlfriend. Right? And those people who actually love you, who want to take care of you, who want to make you feel like you're the most special person ever? Screw them. They don't understand who you really are. Oh, you don't like Twilight either? Too much vampire and werewolf action? Let's move on then.
How about The Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins)? Now there is a cultural phenomenon. I hear a lot of schools are assigning it to their students to read. Well, they shouldn't. First off, this is a post-democracy North America. We should never suggest to teenagers that there might come a time when democracy is not the accepted world-wide governing standard. Also, this book is set after ice-caps melt and nuclear weapons have been used. That's too upsetting to the kids. We don't want them to think about the social or political or environmental consequences of their actions. That's too upsetting for them. Worse, this is a book where kids kill other kids. Yes, I am aware that the main characters will die if they don't kill the other kids. It doesn't matter. Killing is wrong and they should take the high road. Reading this will cause children to think it is acceptable to kill people. Worse, it will breed in them the desire to use weapons. It will. What's worse, one of the heroes (Haymich) is an alcoholic. It glorifies drinking. And it paints an undesirable picture of people who want to live in comfort, and who care about fads and fashion. These books clearly are trying to impart socialist lessons that are anti-consumer culture. We can't have that. This book also blatantly glorifies sexuality. Katniss and two different boys kiss. Sometimes more than once. And Katniss and Peeta sleep together in the same bed, even. The end of the series is also wildly inappropriate. All of that death and war is upsetting, and Katniss being medicated with the future equivalent of Morphine tells children its okay to use drugs, even prescription ones, to deal with depression. They will eventually draw the conclusion that using drugs for other purposes is okay. Didn't you see how they painted the morphlings from District 6 in a completely sympathetic light?
Perhaps the problem with these books is that they're too recent. We should address the classics we read when we were growing up. There was nothing upsetting in those books. I mean, nothing that would scar a child like these current ones do...
Except that the March girls in Little Women (Alcott) are poor. And Beth dies. And several times in the book its rather implied that they're on the brink of starvation. In Hiedi (Spyri) one of the main characters is a cripple. Ditto The Secret Garden (Hodgeson-Burnett). On top of that, it teaches children its okay to be brats if you're ill or you've had bad things happen to you. Good lord, A Little Princess (also by Burnett) teaches children that if you're smart and good and well behaved and rich you'll be well loved, but that if you are smart and good and well behaved and poor you'll be mistreated and you'll live an unhappy life because of it. Woodsong (Paulsen) is far too graphic with animal violence and only teaches children escapism- what kind of person actually lives in the woods and raises dogs for sled racing? No normal person. You definitely can't let them read fairy tales. Not the real ones! They're graphic, violent and full of inappropriate language and witchcraft and such. I'd tell you to let them see the clean, Disney versions of them, but since Disney loves gay people, we can't have that either.
Yes, indeed, children's literature is clearly unhealthy. What we really need is to get back to good old-fashioned morals. Children should read the Bible. After all, the Bible has no graphic violence, sexism, racism, or blatant sexuality. Nope, none at all. Wait- what? It does? Well, hell.
I think its clear, then, what has to be done. We can't let children read anymore. Nope. Can't do it. If we do there's no getting around it, our children will be damaged. Or so goes the logic of the UK Daily Mail.
Honestly, I read a lot as a child. Not just the books I mentioned (well, the classics, the others hadn't been published yet.) but many others. I wasn't scarred by The Goosebumps books(Stein). Sweet Valley High (Pascal) had no effect on my burgeoning sexuality or my self esteem. I was not irreparably damaged when I read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Schwartz). The Boxcar Children (Warner) didn't make me want to run away. The first time I stumbled across a romance novel at 13 I didn't immediately run out and have sex. I wasn't scarred by the trials and tribulations of Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House series. Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew made me no more nosy than I already was. James and The Giant Peach (Dahl) didn't cause me to cuss, or want to run away, it didn't make me afraid of bugs. Honestly the only effect that book had on me at the time was a propensity to try a rhyme all of my words and sing like the bugs. By the time I was in 4th grade I was checking out books from the Jr. High side of my school's library. I remained unscathed. As I got older I branched into more adult, more graphic books. I've survived all of those as well.
Here's the thing, children are generally aware of the world around them. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you. Its amazing what they learn, what they absorb and their capacity for compassion, love and internalizing the life lessons that books like the ones I mentioned teach. Literature is a tool in which writers reach out to the world. Sometimes it is to make a connection, to teach a lesson or to share an experience. But all of those reasons contribute to our world view as we read. All of them give us the ability to live through others, to experience that which might never happen to us, or give us the opportunity to see that we are never quite as alone in our trials and sufferings as we think we are.
As a child, books were one of my greatest companions. I came from a broken home. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother, bless her, worked all the time to support us and was often from home. By the time I was the age of a YA14+ reader I knew all about terminal illnesses, death, sexual abuse and poverty. I'd seen through other school mates first hand what drugs, violence and alienation could do to a person. I knew what it was like to be poor, a little strange, and unpopular. Through all of this, though, I read. And I read. And I read. I was in seventh grade the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee). As a 13 year old girl it didn't horrify me, or hurt me or scare me. It spoke to me, in a way I could hardly express. A year after I read Oliver Twist (Dickens) and the violence, poverty and sadness in that book hurt me no more than any other book I read.
What I discovered as I read was that I was not alone in the great human experience. I was not the only one who had felt the things I was feeling. I found comfort. I found acceptance. I found peace reading those books. That, to me, makes every word I read during that time worthwhile.
It is my sincere hope that people will not take this article to heart. What I do hope happens is that parents, teachers and other adults become more aware of the widespread and positive experience that literature can provide. That they realize that their young adults can relate to these works and that they should be not only encouraging them to read, but encouraging them to discuss what they're reading and how it makes them feel. Maybe, just maybe, if we take the time to do that we will emerge with a well-read, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted generation who can reflect well on their place in the world, and how they are connected to it at large.
We can hope, right?
I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts.
Keep Reading.
AGxx
A note and disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the books I mentioned. I did not write them. That is why I put the authors' names in for you. Additionally, I would encourage you to read any or all of these books if you can. Most of them are great works of literature, and I am proud to have read them. Also, in case you had not caught the tenor of my arguments, I actually quite like most of the books I mentioned.
Also, the title comes from a lyric from The Daily Mail song, which was John Greene's only response to the article. Having followed the link, I can only suggest you do so as well. Its worth a good laugh, anyway.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Wouldn't You Prefer A Maiden Fair? Part 2
So, I'm back. As promised, I have dug up a picture of myself and am now going to attempt to write my own description as I would for a romance novel- trying to make me appear as lovely as possible. I won't lie, I tried to find a picture that made me look as attractive as possible- as though that will make a difference....
So- here we go. (Can I confess to being nervous?)
**
The sun shone relentlessly- infusing even the tangled vines of the underpass with a golden tint that lit them from behind and nearly set them ablaze. She stood there, looking at him intently, questioningly, as he approached her. Try as she might, she could not school her features into impassivity. A glimmer of uncertainty shone through her steel grey eyes as she watched him. Be calm, she thought. This is nothing to be nervous about. Even with the thought still echoing in her head she struggled to keep her brows from arching. She steeled herself and forced them into a thin line that would imply a calm demeanor. In spite of her efforts her eyes still glittered with the look of something soft and sweet caught in the sights of a predator at night.
Through the sheen of light reflected on his glasses he was unsure if the soft pink flush over her warm ivory skin was from the heat or from the anticipation that she must feel at him examining her so closely. Would she pass muster? Of course she would. Hidden in her lithe frame was a sureness that she could have what she wanted. She was what he wanted- and she knew it. Her lips were pursed- a perfect red Cupid's bow that was both a warning and an invitation to any man who would take what they could offer. For a moment they quirked at the edges- something had amused her. He could see it in the way she glanced at him- regal, untouchable and slightly snobbish- over the bridge of her nose.
There was a look about her as though she might turn away at any moment. Her thin frame was poised for flight. Still, there was a lushness...something inviting and warm in the way she was looking at him. There was an unspoken challenge in the set of her shoulders. From the way she held herself you could sense there was something inside- something trapped and waiting to break free. The wind caught her hair and tossed the long oak and cinnamon locks over her shoulder. It added to the wild and haunting look she wore. He found it irresistible. He could almost see the breeze pricking little bumps on her skin, dancing across the gentle swell of her breasts. Wrapped in silk, encased in luxury, she was impossibly out of place and somehow completely at home as the wind had it's way with her before leaving her to rest in the oppressive heat.
***
So? Accurate? I don't know. I feel awkward looking at myself this way. It might be easier with others. Still, I think I managed to sound reasonably attractive without me having to resort to outright lies on lengthy descriptions of my clothing. What do you think? How would you have described this photo? I'm all ears.
So- here we go. (Can I confess to being nervous?)
**
The sun shone relentlessly- infusing even the tangled vines of the underpass with a golden tint that lit them from behind and nearly set them ablaze. She stood there, looking at him intently, questioningly, as he approached her. Try as she might, she could not school her features into impassivity. A glimmer of uncertainty shone through her steel grey eyes as she watched him. Be calm, she thought. This is nothing to be nervous about. Even with the thought still echoing in her head she struggled to keep her brows from arching. She steeled herself and forced them into a thin line that would imply a calm demeanor. In spite of her efforts her eyes still glittered with the look of something soft and sweet caught in the sights of a predator at night.
Through the sheen of light reflected on his glasses he was unsure if the soft pink flush over her warm ivory skin was from the heat or from the anticipation that she must feel at him examining her so closely. Would she pass muster? Of course she would. Hidden in her lithe frame was a sureness that she could have what she wanted. She was what he wanted- and she knew it. Her lips were pursed- a perfect red Cupid's bow that was both a warning and an invitation to any man who would take what they could offer. For a moment they quirked at the edges- something had amused her. He could see it in the way she glanced at him- regal, untouchable and slightly snobbish- over the bridge of her nose.
There was a look about her as though she might turn away at any moment. Her thin frame was poised for flight. Still, there was a lushness...something inviting and warm in the way she was looking at him. There was an unspoken challenge in the set of her shoulders. From the way she held herself you could sense there was something inside- something trapped and waiting to break free. The wind caught her hair and tossed the long oak and cinnamon locks over her shoulder. It added to the wild and haunting look she wore. He found it irresistible. He could almost see the breeze pricking little bumps on her skin, dancing across the gentle swell of her breasts. Wrapped in silk, encased in luxury, she was impossibly out of place and somehow completely at home as the wind had it's way with her before leaving her to rest in the oppressive heat.
***
So? Accurate? I don't know. I feel awkward looking at myself this way. It might be easier with others. Still, I think I managed to sound reasonably attractive without me having to resort to outright lies on lengthy descriptions of my clothing. What do you think? How would you have described this photo? I'm all ears.
Wouldn't You Prefer A Maiden Fair?
With my book out on submission there's very little I can do with it at this point until I start getting feedback from the editor I submitted it to, and from my betas, some of whom still have the first draft in their hands. Like most writers, this means I can do one of two things- I can sit on my hands and pace the floor while I wait for feedback (I've been doing a little of that, I'll confess) or I can get to writing another book.
Of course, the book I have out is being pitched as part of a series. Honestly, I think its a great idea and I do need to get to work on book two. Some of that I have done already. I began plotting the outline of the second book and the scratch plots of the five that follow it. I've also began work on a massive family tree for the saga- a daunting task that I've stopped halfway through because I truly need to get a hold of several history books if I want to make the time frames as accurate as possible. And I do. But that means I need to be able to accurately place my characters in Prohibition, the Alaskan Gold Rush and some other really fun places. See, the idea I have is to cross several historical genres with this family saga. I think it would be fun.
I love historical fiction and while I do have a hard preference for Regency fiction (its the dresses, I think, and the Dukes) I am not opposed to other time periods. I've noticed that writer Eloisa James is really good about capturing other time periods. Her Desperate Duchesses series is set in Georgian England. Anyway, I like the idea of doing some of the time-honored tropes, like Regency and maybe a good pirate novel. However, I started my series with an Elizabethan time travel novel, which is different from most historicals being published now. However, I think there are a lot of wonderful time periods that are completely untapped, and I want to see how they would work within the framework of a romance novel.
Anyway, before I get off on a completely different tangent than the one I set out on, I am, as sated, waiting on word back from said publisher and at a stand-still with editing until I hear more back from my betas. As such, I must find something else to do. For the last two weeks or so that has involved me doing research on the Regency period, which I know a little of- but not nearly enough, and spending the rest of my time watching movies (I've seen Pitch Perfect twice and watched nearly every video on YouTube related to the movie) and surfing the internet in hopes of finding something that will inspire me. In some small part it has worked. I have got a working outline. I have found music videos and clips that entertain me and make me feel like there is some hope for me as an artist of the written word. (I confess, I've found a couple of song lyrics by new artists that I like that I simply must find a way to reference in a book- this will of course involve me writing a contemporary novel- no worries, I have a series idea there too.)
In my quest for inspiration and distraction from my never ending list of things to research I have began to feel a little excited about this new book. One of the first things I do when I start writing a new novel is to start working with the characters in my head. I like to get a full visual of them before I start writing them, and by that time I've usually "introduced" myself to them and begun to get a feel for their personalities. This all goes into a notebook where I dutifully record anything that might have any sort of relevance to the book I am currently writing. Its here that I found something that gave me pause and nudged me into writing this post- however long winded and rambling it may seem at this point.
You see, I love to have visuals of my characters. This, to me, is extremely important in the writing of a book. When I read a romance novel one of the things I do is to actually take time to visualize what each person looks like to the best of my ability. Once I have the character cemented in my head I am able to let the action unfold in my mind without me needing to think overlong about the details. The details, you see, start to come naturally. This is the essence of good writing. When the author can carry a reader through the action without having to pause to remind them of the little things. This is especially important, in my mind, in the love scenes. Say what you will about them, but love scenes in a romance novel are necessary and when not properly written can ruin the mood of a book. I've read some that ruined the book for me entirely. My point is, if I have to go back and think of what the heroine and hero look like, or contemplate if "honey-wheat tresses" are blonde or a light brunette, it distracts me. If I already know, then I can move on and enjoy the scene itself.
Here's the thing- I've heard a lot about how romance novel characters are all the same. I hear some say that the women are impossibly perfect and that the men are completely unattainable. There's a lot of jokes, even within the writing community, about man-titty and bosoms and all of that. Granted, its tongue in cheek, and most of us use this is a reminder of how not to write a character- but we are aware of it. I've even seen a growing trend in the books being published (especially the ones I've read of late) where the author takes great pains to make the characters both beautiful and believable. I was thinking of this earlier last month when I was reading through the descriptions of my own characters and noticed that my male main character bore a striking resemblance, in description, to Robert Downey Jr. I did not do that on purpose. I promise. However, having noticed it, I discovered my re-read was much easier for me, because I could see him quite clearly. He was not Mr. Downey Jr. but I could see the resemblance and I think, for me (and hopefully my reader) it was easier to draw his portrait in my head knowing what I was looking at. I'm digressing, again. The point is, there's a lot of really great characters that I've been loving who are described in a way that makes them beautiful, but it is clear they are less than perfect. I really like that. And so to romance descriptions in general, where the thought occurred to me that I can write anyone as beautiful if I want to. Anyone at all. So I was thinking about trying it.
Of course, being vain, I thought about myself first. Now, despite what all of you very generous people tend to say about me, I know I am not a knockout. I am not what most people would call conventionally beautiful. I'm not ugly- don't think I'm saying that- but I do think I am about average. But if I actually took the time to write myself as a romance heroine, I think I could do an admirable job of making myself sound beautiful. In fact, I think I could do it with just about anyone I know. I could probably do it with people I don't know, just based on pictures. Now I have this theory, and I am dying to test it out. Can I really write myself- or anyone else for that matter- in a romance style and make them beautiful with words? I'm thinking I can.
So I am leaving it to you. I'm going to do a few posts, some with pictures included, and I will describe the person in the picture with the language and style I would use in writing one of my own novels. It will be a fun exercise for me and it will eventually, I think, prove my theory. If you would like me to write you up as well, let me know. I don't need a picture, I can do without, but if you want to include one I would be delighted. Most of you know my email, so you can send it to me there. Otherwise, I'll just wait for the fun to start. I'm off to hunt up a picture of myself to start the proceedings. Fun times.
Volunteers in the comments, please.
Your Description Loving Pal-
AGxx
Of course, the book I have out is being pitched as part of a series. Honestly, I think its a great idea and I do need to get to work on book two. Some of that I have done already. I began plotting the outline of the second book and the scratch plots of the five that follow it. I've also began work on a massive family tree for the saga- a daunting task that I've stopped halfway through because I truly need to get a hold of several history books if I want to make the time frames as accurate as possible. And I do. But that means I need to be able to accurately place my characters in Prohibition, the Alaskan Gold Rush and some other really fun places. See, the idea I have is to cross several historical genres with this family saga. I think it would be fun.
I love historical fiction and while I do have a hard preference for Regency fiction (its the dresses, I think, and the Dukes) I am not opposed to other time periods. I've noticed that writer Eloisa James is really good about capturing other time periods. Her Desperate Duchesses series is set in Georgian England. Anyway, I like the idea of doing some of the time-honored tropes, like Regency and maybe a good pirate novel. However, I started my series with an Elizabethan time travel novel, which is different from most historicals being published now. However, I think there are a lot of wonderful time periods that are completely untapped, and I want to see how they would work within the framework of a romance novel.
Anyway, before I get off on a completely different tangent than the one I set out on, I am, as sated, waiting on word back from said publisher and at a stand-still with editing until I hear more back from my betas. As such, I must find something else to do. For the last two weeks or so that has involved me doing research on the Regency period, which I know a little of- but not nearly enough, and spending the rest of my time watching movies (I've seen Pitch Perfect twice and watched nearly every video on YouTube related to the movie) and surfing the internet in hopes of finding something that will inspire me. In some small part it has worked. I have got a working outline. I have found music videos and clips that entertain me and make me feel like there is some hope for me as an artist of the written word. (I confess, I've found a couple of song lyrics by new artists that I like that I simply must find a way to reference in a book- this will of course involve me writing a contemporary novel- no worries, I have a series idea there too.)
In my quest for inspiration and distraction from my never ending list of things to research I have began to feel a little excited about this new book. One of the first things I do when I start writing a new novel is to start working with the characters in my head. I like to get a full visual of them before I start writing them, and by that time I've usually "introduced" myself to them and begun to get a feel for their personalities. This all goes into a notebook where I dutifully record anything that might have any sort of relevance to the book I am currently writing. Its here that I found something that gave me pause and nudged me into writing this post- however long winded and rambling it may seem at this point.
You see, I love to have visuals of my characters. This, to me, is extremely important in the writing of a book. When I read a romance novel one of the things I do is to actually take time to visualize what each person looks like to the best of my ability. Once I have the character cemented in my head I am able to let the action unfold in my mind without me needing to think overlong about the details. The details, you see, start to come naturally. This is the essence of good writing. When the author can carry a reader through the action without having to pause to remind them of the little things. This is especially important, in my mind, in the love scenes. Say what you will about them, but love scenes in a romance novel are necessary and when not properly written can ruin the mood of a book. I've read some that ruined the book for me entirely. My point is, if I have to go back and think of what the heroine and hero look like, or contemplate if "honey-wheat tresses" are blonde or a light brunette, it distracts me. If I already know, then I can move on and enjoy the scene itself.
Here's the thing- I've heard a lot about how romance novel characters are all the same. I hear some say that the women are impossibly perfect and that the men are completely unattainable. There's a lot of jokes, even within the writing community, about man-titty and bosoms and all of that. Granted, its tongue in cheek, and most of us use this is a reminder of how not to write a character- but we are aware of it. I've even seen a growing trend in the books being published (especially the ones I've read of late) where the author takes great pains to make the characters both beautiful and believable. I was thinking of this earlier last month when I was reading through the descriptions of my own characters and noticed that my male main character bore a striking resemblance, in description, to Robert Downey Jr. I did not do that on purpose. I promise. However, having noticed it, I discovered my re-read was much easier for me, because I could see him quite clearly. He was not Mr. Downey Jr. but I could see the resemblance and I think, for me (and hopefully my reader) it was easier to draw his portrait in my head knowing what I was looking at. I'm digressing, again. The point is, there's a lot of really great characters that I've been loving who are described in a way that makes them beautiful, but it is clear they are less than perfect. I really like that. And so to romance descriptions in general, where the thought occurred to me that I can write anyone as beautiful if I want to. Anyone at all. So I was thinking about trying it.
Of course, being vain, I thought about myself first. Now, despite what all of you very generous people tend to say about me, I know I am not a knockout. I am not what most people would call conventionally beautiful. I'm not ugly- don't think I'm saying that- but I do think I am about average. But if I actually took the time to write myself as a romance heroine, I think I could do an admirable job of making myself sound beautiful. In fact, I think I could do it with just about anyone I know. I could probably do it with people I don't know, just based on pictures. Now I have this theory, and I am dying to test it out. Can I really write myself- or anyone else for that matter- in a romance style and make them beautiful with words? I'm thinking I can.
So I am leaving it to you. I'm going to do a few posts, some with pictures included, and I will describe the person in the picture with the language and style I would use in writing one of my own novels. It will be a fun exercise for me and it will eventually, I think, prove my theory. If you would like me to write you up as well, let me know. I don't need a picture, I can do without, but if you want to include one I would be delighted. Most of you know my email, so you can send it to me there. Otherwise, I'll just wait for the fun to start. I'm off to hunt up a picture of myself to start the proceedings. Fun times.
Volunteers in the comments, please.
Your Description Loving Pal-
AGxx
Monday, December 17, 2012
Through The Years We All Will Be Together
Yesterday I woke up with a raging headache. I cannot tell you how much of an inconvenience it was. Normally I would have done what I did first off, and that was call Sakura to see if he could come and sit with me, because I hate being alone when I am throwing up and so dizzy I am terrified I might pass out at any given moment. Normally, I would have done that and rested with him, knowing I was safe, until the headache passed. Normally.
But yesterday was my family Christmas party. That may not seem like a huge deal, but I had decided to go for the first time since Kitten and I got together. We went that first Christmas and then never again. It wasn't that I don't like Christmas with my family. I mean, okay, its always a little...different, with my family- but I always went before now. And Kitten wasn't the reason I wasn't going. It was personal, and I felt like it would be better for me not to be there. This year is different. Circumstances in my life have changes and made it to where I wanted to go, at least in some small measure. I'm on much better terms with my family than I was before, and there are a lot of other things going on in my families lives that make me want to be there.
I'm unsure if I've mentioned it here already, but last week my grandmother was in the hospital. They thought she was having a heart attack. She wasn't, thank god, and she was up and moving around much faster than I would have expected. This, however, put me in the mind of two things yesterday morning. The first was that I need to appreciate every moment I have with my family, because I am not guaranteed anything. The other was that if my grandmother had been in the hospital and was still going to family Christmas, then by god,- so was I.
So I spent a few hours struggling with nausea and my pain, patiently laying on the couch with Sakura, letting him feed me spoonfuls of anti-nausea liquid and sipping at tepid water. He helped me to struggle into a skirt and a long sleeved shirt and we headed off to the party. When we got there my family had already arrived, for the most part. My mom was at the store picking up last minute provisions and my brother came in shortly behind me. It was...overwhelming. At first because I always forget how huge my family is. I mean, we rent a community room because there is no house big enough to hold all of us. There were about 40 there, and I know we were missing a few people. The other thing was...well, my brother.
It was the first time I had seen him since the winter Kitten and I got together. Three years. He's changed. A lot. Appearance wise, he's taller if that's possible, or I forgot how tall he really is. He also wears much nicer clothing than he used to. His extremely long hair is gone (really long, like longer than mine) and he doesn't wear a beard anymore. And he was sober. Sober and clean. I haven't seen him that way since the both of us were in high school. Like a girl, I cried. It was embarrassing. He looked at me, hugged me, and then asked me why I was crying. I told him I wasn't, and he laughed at me and hugged me again. Then he told me he loved me. For the first time in a very long time, I believed him.
Of course, the happy reunion was cut short by me dashing down the hall. First, I needed to throw up. Too much emotion plus a migraine equals sickness. Then I wanted a moment to pull myself together. No such luck. My cousins and my grandmother and Sakura were all hot on my heels. Ah, the joy of family. Once I convinced them that yes, I was fine, they let me have a moment.
I spent most of the first hour sitting along the wall watching my family eat. Honestly, I wasn't very hungry because I was still feeling a little woozy, so I was happy just watching. Sakura and I chatted. I got a huge kick out of him telling me he was surprised that my family was so southern. Like, bless your heart, deep-south southern. Its true. I had never really thought about it before. But seeing my family, all of whom came by to encourage me to eat (because obviously Sakura wasn't going to eat if I didn't and we can't have a guest unfed!) bustling around the room and spending time together, it became very apparent that yes, my family might as well be somewhere in Georgia for how southern we are. And it was funny, too, to watch them try and get me to eat because they were worried about poor Sakura wasting away. It made me giggle, too, because I don't look too much like the rest of my family and my personality is very different from theirs. Sakura says he assumed my family would be more like a group of people from the eastern seaboard. That made me smile.
I was glad to see my cousins, whom I never see enough of. Lovey and her little sister Spurs were up from Oklahoma. I love seeing them. I got a kick out of Spurs, because she is such a little cowgirl, and I would never have guessed her for one when she was little. Now she's all grown up and sometimes I get a little misty eyes thinking of the two of them when they weren't so big. Now instead of talking about our favorite Disney movies or where we want to go on spring break we're talking about our significant others and our first experiences at strip clubs. Ah, growing up. I'm going to do my best to have them up to see me sometime this spring. I'm definitely going to visit them. I love Oklahoma. Plus any chance I get to see them is a holiday.
My younger cousins were there too, and by younger I mean, you know, in high school. (when did I get so old???) It was kind of funny to see them sitting at the table playing some sort of racing game on their smart phones. I remember when I was a kid we would sneak into the back room and play Nintendo when no one was watching. It brought back memories. All of my older relatives don't seem so old now. In fact, I was remarking it to Sakura, some of them are closer to me in age than my cousins. Its strange.
I was really happy when Kitten and Oscelot got there. They got off of work early so they could make it. I was able to introduce them to my whole family for the first time. I was thrilled. Everyone was so kind to them, and so loving. My great-aunt pulled me aside to tell me how wonderful she thought they were, and how she was glad to see I had found people who really, truly loved me. She said I had picked two women with very tender hearts and she was proud of me. It made me want to run out of the room crying again. I got a kick out of Oscelot telling me how huge my brother was. She's super short, so he looks like a giant next to her. It was hilarious. We got to take some pictures with the family, and that was nice. I can't wait for everyone to upload all of their pics so I can save them on my computer. I need a family album.
Anyway, it was a really nice time. I managed to sit down and eat some potatoes. My mom called me this morning and was horrified that's all I had eaten. She's bringing me over leftovers today I think. I got to watch my family interact with my chosen family. It was really, really nice. I feel better about this holiday than I have about any holiday I've had with my family since I was a child.
I hope that all of you are able to find something special this holiday.
AGxx
PS- I'm adding some photos below, because I can. Ignore the fact that I look awful- I was sick, after all.
Here's me and Kitten and Oscelot. Nothing like a smiling family to make the holidays brighter, right? In the background you'll notice my two gargantuan cousins messing around.
Here's me and my mom and Punk. First picture like this in years. I'd like to add that last night my mom texted me to tell me thank you for coming. She said having me, Punk, the girls and Sakura there made it feel like Christmas for her, because she was with her family.
This is my three female cousins. From left to right: Spurs, Colorgirl and Lovey. They are just the darn cutest things. I'd like to mention, Lovey and Spurs are my height. Colorgirl is just super tall. Super, super tall.
But yesterday was my family Christmas party. That may not seem like a huge deal, but I had decided to go for the first time since Kitten and I got together. We went that first Christmas and then never again. It wasn't that I don't like Christmas with my family. I mean, okay, its always a little...different, with my family- but I always went before now. And Kitten wasn't the reason I wasn't going. It was personal, and I felt like it would be better for me not to be there. This year is different. Circumstances in my life have changes and made it to where I wanted to go, at least in some small measure. I'm on much better terms with my family than I was before, and there are a lot of other things going on in my families lives that make me want to be there.
I'm unsure if I've mentioned it here already, but last week my grandmother was in the hospital. They thought she was having a heart attack. She wasn't, thank god, and she was up and moving around much faster than I would have expected. This, however, put me in the mind of two things yesterday morning. The first was that I need to appreciate every moment I have with my family, because I am not guaranteed anything. The other was that if my grandmother had been in the hospital and was still going to family Christmas, then by god,- so was I.
So I spent a few hours struggling with nausea and my pain, patiently laying on the couch with Sakura, letting him feed me spoonfuls of anti-nausea liquid and sipping at tepid water. He helped me to struggle into a skirt and a long sleeved shirt and we headed off to the party. When we got there my family had already arrived, for the most part. My mom was at the store picking up last minute provisions and my brother came in shortly behind me. It was...overwhelming. At first because I always forget how huge my family is. I mean, we rent a community room because there is no house big enough to hold all of us. There were about 40 there, and I know we were missing a few people. The other thing was...well, my brother.
It was the first time I had seen him since the winter Kitten and I got together. Three years. He's changed. A lot. Appearance wise, he's taller if that's possible, or I forgot how tall he really is. He also wears much nicer clothing than he used to. His extremely long hair is gone (really long, like longer than mine) and he doesn't wear a beard anymore. And he was sober. Sober and clean. I haven't seen him that way since the both of us were in high school. Like a girl, I cried. It was embarrassing. He looked at me, hugged me, and then asked me why I was crying. I told him I wasn't, and he laughed at me and hugged me again. Then he told me he loved me. For the first time in a very long time, I believed him.
Of course, the happy reunion was cut short by me dashing down the hall. First, I needed to throw up. Too much emotion plus a migraine equals sickness. Then I wanted a moment to pull myself together. No such luck. My cousins and my grandmother and Sakura were all hot on my heels. Ah, the joy of family. Once I convinced them that yes, I was fine, they let me have a moment.
I spent most of the first hour sitting along the wall watching my family eat. Honestly, I wasn't very hungry because I was still feeling a little woozy, so I was happy just watching. Sakura and I chatted. I got a huge kick out of him telling me he was surprised that my family was so southern. Like, bless your heart, deep-south southern. Its true. I had never really thought about it before. But seeing my family, all of whom came by to encourage me to eat (because obviously Sakura wasn't going to eat if I didn't and we can't have a guest unfed!) bustling around the room and spending time together, it became very apparent that yes, my family might as well be somewhere in Georgia for how southern we are. And it was funny, too, to watch them try and get me to eat because they were worried about poor Sakura wasting away. It made me giggle, too, because I don't look too much like the rest of my family and my personality is very different from theirs. Sakura says he assumed my family would be more like a group of people from the eastern seaboard. That made me smile.
I was glad to see my cousins, whom I never see enough of. Lovey and her little sister Spurs were up from Oklahoma. I love seeing them. I got a kick out of Spurs, because she is such a little cowgirl, and I would never have guessed her for one when she was little. Now she's all grown up and sometimes I get a little misty eyes thinking of the two of them when they weren't so big. Now instead of talking about our favorite Disney movies or where we want to go on spring break we're talking about our significant others and our first experiences at strip clubs. Ah, growing up. I'm going to do my best to have them up to see me sometime this spring. I'm definitely going to visit them. I love Oklahoma. Plus any chance I get to see them is a holiday.
My younger cousins were there too, and by younger I mean, you know, in high school. (when did I get so old???) It was kind of funny to see them sitting at the table playing some sort of racing game on their smart phones. I remember when I was a kid we would sneak into the back room and play Nintendo when no one was watching. It brought back memories. All of my older relatives don't seem so old now. In fact, I was remarking it to Sakura, some of them are closer to me in age than my cousins. Its strange.
I was really happy when Kitten and Oscelot got there. They got off of work early so they could make it. I was able to introduce them to my whole family for the first time. I was thrilled. Everyone was so kind to them, and so loving. My great-aunt pulled me aside to tell me how wonderful she thought they were, and how she was glad to see I had found people who really, truly loved me. She said I had picked two women with very tender hearts and she was proud of me. It made me want to run out of the room crying again. I got a kick out of Oscelot telling me how huge my brother was. She's super short, so he looks like a giant next to her. It was hilarious. We got to take some pictures with the family, and that was nice. I can't wait for everyone to upload all of their pics so I can save them on my computer. I need a family album.
Anyway, it was a really nice time. I managed to sit down and eat some potatoes. My mom called me this morning and was horrified that's all I had eaten. She's bringing me over leftovers today I think. I got to watch my family interact with my chosen family. It was really, really nice. I feel better about this holiday than I have about any holiday I've had with my family since I was a child.
I hope that all of you are able to find something special this holiday.
AGxx
PS- I'm adding some photos below, because I can. Ignore the fact that I look awful- I was sick, after all.
Here's me and Kitten and Oscelot. Nothing like a smiling family to make the holidays brighter, right? In the background you'll notice my two gargantuan cousins messing around.
Here's me and my mom and Punk. First picture like this in years. I'd like to add that last night my mom texted me to tell me thank you for coming. She said having me, Punk, the girls and Sakura there made it feel like Christmas for her, because she was with her family.
This is my three female cousins. From left to right: Spurs, Colorgirl and Lovey. They are just the darn cutest things. I'd like to mention, Lovey and Spurs are my height. Colorgirl is just super tall. Super, super tall.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Faithful Friends Who Are Dear To Us Gather Near To Us Once More
Its December and time to look back on the year and see how I've done and what's happened to me. I'll confess, I hadn't even thought about it until I signed on to Facebook this morning and it was offering me the album of my Top 20 Moments of 2012. Most of them weren't really top moments. So I thought I would tote up all the things that happened to me and go through them. It was an interesting job down recent memory lane.
In January I started working on a lesbian romance novel. It ended up crashing and burning later, but it was a good start to me writing more than I had before. It was also a decent idea, which I will probably use some time in the near future. For the first time in years I got seriously ill with some sort of virus, an indicator that my body has finally stopped holding up on its contract to not get sick and just punish me with migraines. Kitten and I had our birthdays and nothing too epic happened when I turned a year older. I finally blocked my ex BBD on Facebook because he started up with his stalker like tirades again. I also threatened him with an Ex Parte, he hasn't shown his face since.
In February I saw the Memphis ballet, and was moved to tears. Kitten began contemplating the out of town internship over the summer, which she thankfully ended up not taking. We had Thanksgiving in February with our friends, the first in a long line of weird themed dinner parties over the year. I discovered the Warriors series by Erin Hunter and found out there's nothing like a book about feral cats to make you cry.
In March I started gardening for the season, most notably planting more roses and plotting out a garden for veggies and herbs in the back. I reorganized the books in my library, sort of. We went to Kansas City, MO to see Katie Herzig live and despite the fact that I had a headache, had a great time. I actually met her after the show and we got pics. Sakura and I began contemplating a formal coven structure as a result of friction within the coven. Kitten was hired to work temp at Casa Bueno and Oscelot was rehired. Oscelot celebrated her birthday.
In April I had a period so bad I was hospitalized. Turns out I had a torn cyst. Shorty had her 21st and we had a great time out with her. Not much else happened.
In May I attended my first family gathering in years because my cousin Mustang had graduated high school. I began to feel really old about it. Beltane we washed in the may dew and had a good time. The coven began changes that would eventually become a more formal structure. Ties of friendship were renewed among some of my closer friends. I learned I am a planning sort of person. I also had the first of two fights this year that resulted in me losing a friend and me discovering that I can take the higher ground when I want to. Even if I don't want to.
In June I had my wisdom teeth out. I discovered the Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube and became obsessed. We got a new car, and by new I mean a 1982 Honda we call Vannessa. We wrote the coven bylaws, I met Felix, started seeing Auras on purpose and not accident. I memorized the Charge of the Goddess. I also met Sakura's mom after we sort-of formalized that agreement we'd made to move to the Rose City together soon. It became unbearably hot. We started conserving water for the gardens.
July saw us all over town. Flyguy and I had a fun time trashing a dress. We went to see James Taylor in concert and it was awesome. We went with Kitten's mom to Tulsa for a couple of days to explore art museums and learn about George Washington. I saw his teeth. No, they weren't made of wood. I had the second of my fights that lost me a friend. This particular one really hurt, but then, that sort of thing does. It got even more hot than it had been. Temps in the 100+ all the time.
August I bought a bicycle but didn't ride it much because of the heat. We threw a huge pirate themed party for Spice's birthday and had Christmas in August as well. I really, truly went to town on the bookshelves but only made it to M because I ran out of shelf space. It finally rained, finally. I went to the fair with my friends and had a blast. I hadn't been in a few years, and it was a wonderful time. I discovered we had skunk kittens hiding under our shed and that they were making friends with the cats on our porch. I put down Starkit, bless his soul, after he got hit by a car. I cried over him. He was adorable.
In September I quit my job and became a housewife. Best decision I ever made. I started working on my first romance piece for publication. I started working on costumes for our trip to the KC Renaissance Fair. I bonded with a couple of my cousins over hard times. I realized not all the crap I've been through has been for naught.
In October we went to the Ren Fair and had a great time. I came up with a brilliant novel idea. I made my first made from scratch cake and discovered I can bake so long as its complicated. We had a wonderful Samhain ritual at Kitten's moms and I felt really connected to my family. I discovered, at the same time, that I am allergic to pumpkins. I began quilting.
Last month I lost myself in the elections and in NaNoWriMo. I bonded with my wonderful beta reader KittyMammas and realized I am lucky to have access to so many wonderful writers and a great community. I spent my first election night up all night since I turned 18 and discovered I have an awesome family who's willing to drag the couch into the library and watch live election streaming with me until 1am. I have spent a lot of time bonding with Kitten's mom, which has been great. I also spent Thanksgiving with my mom and grandma for the first time in years.
That brings us to now. Last week I got back on the submissions train and am beginning new work as a writer. I also went to see White Christmas on the big screen with friends and felt completely unashamed at my tears for the first time ever. It was awesome. Who knows how the rest of this month will turn out.
I'll say this- it has been both an awesome and really difficult year. I want to thank all the people who have supported me through all of this crazy. You've helped me grow in ways you'll never imagine. A special thanks to Sakura, Aravis, Swiss, Shorty and Felix for making this year unforgettable and bearable. You are wonderful people.
In January I started working on a lesbian romance novel. It ended up crashing and burning later, but it was a good start to me writing more than I had before. It was also a decent idea, which I will probably use some time in the near future. For the first time in years I got seriously ill with some sort of virus, an indicator that my body has finally stopped holding up on its contract to not get sick and just punish me with migraines. Kitten and I had our birthdays and nothing too epic happened when I turned a year older. I finally blocked my ex BBD on Facebook because he started up with his stalker like tirades again. I also threatened him with an Ex Parte, he hasn't shown his face since.
In February I saw the Memphis ballet, and was moved to tears. Kitten began contemplating the out of town internship over the summer, which she thankfully ended up not taking. We had Thanksgiving in February with our friends, the first in a long line of weird themed dinner parties over the year. I discovered the Warriors series by Erin Hunter and found out there's nothing like a book about feral cats to make you cry.
In March I started gardening for the season, most notably planting more roses and plotting out a garden for veggies and herbs in the back. I reorganized the books in my library, sort of. We went to Kansas City, MO to see Katie Herzig live and despite the fact that I had a headache, had a great time. I actually met her after the show and we got pics. Sakura and I began contemplating a formal coven structure as a result of friction within the coven. Kitten was hired to work temp at Casa Bueno and Oscelot was rehired. Oscelot celebrated her birthday.
In April I had a period so bad I was hospitalized. Turns out I had a torn cyst. Shorty had her 21st and we had a great time out with her. Not much else happened.
In May I attended my first family gathering in years because my cousin Mustang had graduated high school. I began to feel really old about it. Beltane we washed in the may dew and had a good time. The coven began changes that would eventually become a more formal structure. Ties of friendship were renewed among some of my closer friends. I learned I am a planning sort of person. I also had the first of two fights this year that resulted in me losing a friend and me discovering that I can take the higher ground when I want to. Even if I don't want to.
In June I had my wisdom teeth out. I discovered the Lizzie Bennet Diaries on YouTube and became obsessed. We got a new car, and by new I mean a 1982 Honda we call Vannessa. We wrote the coven bylaws, I met Felix, started seeing Auras on purpose and not accident. I memorized the Charge of the Goddess. I also met Sakura's mom after we sort-of formalized that agreement we'd made to move to the Rose City together soon. It became unbearably hot. We started conserving water for the gardens.
July saw us all over town. Flyguy and I had a fun time trashing a dress. We went to see James Taylor in concert and it was awesome. We went with Kitten's mom to Tulsa for a couple of days to explore art museums and learn about George Washington. I saw his teeth. No, they weren't made of wood. I had the second of my fights that lost me a friend. This particular one really hurt, but then, that sort of thing does. It got even more hot than it had been. Temps in the 100+ all the time.
August I bought a bicycle but didn't ride it much because of the heat. We threw a huge pirate themed party for Spice's birthday and had Christmas in August as well. I really, truly went to town on the bookshelves but only made it to M because I ran out of shelf space. It finally rained, finally. I went to the fair with my friends and had a blast. I hadn't been in a few years, and it was a wonderful time. I discovered we had skunk kittens hiding under our shed and that they were making friends with the cats on our porch. I put down Starkit, bless his soul, after he got hit by a car. I cried over him. He was adorable.
In September I quit my job and became a housewife. Best decision I ever made. I started working on my first romance piece for publication. I started working on costumes for our trip to the KC Renaissance Fair. I bonded with a couple of my cousins over hard times. I realized not all the crap I've been through has been for naught.
In October we went to the Ren Fair and had a great time. I came up with a brilliant novel idea. I made my first made from scratch cake and discovered I can bake so long as its complicated. We had a wonderful Samhain ritual at Kitten's moms and I felt really connected to my family. I discovered, at the same time, that I am allergic to pumpkins. I began quilting.
Last month I lost myself in the elections and in NaNoWriMo. I bonded with my wonderful beta reader KittyMammas and realized I am lucky to have access to so many wonderful writers and a great community. I spent my first election night up all night since I turned 18 and discovered I have an awesome family who's willing to drag the couch into the library and watch live election streaming with me until 1am. I have spent a lot of time bonding with Kitten's mom, which has been great. I also spent Thanksgiving with my mom and grandma for the first time in years.
That brings us to now. Last week I got back on the submissions train and am beginning new work as a writer. I also went to see White Christmas on the big screen with friends and felt completely unashamed at my tears for the first time ever. It was awesome. Who knows how the rest of this month will turn out.
I'll say this- it has been both an awesome and really difficult year. I want to thank all the people who have supported me through all of this crazy. You've helped me grow in ways you'll never imagine. A special thanks to Sakura, Aravis, Swiss, Shorty and Felix for making this year unforgettable and bearable. You are wonderful people.
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