Dodging Bullets While You're Trying To Find Your Way

Okay. I was hoping to avoid this. I really was. I've mentioned several times how sick and tired I am of this nonsense, but I was pushed over the edge tonight. I'm doing this once. I'm jumping into the gun control debate/war/bullshit nonsense.

Okay. I'm taking three minutes to step away from the blog, not be angry and I'll be back. You'll be here, right?

Okay. Now that I am calm I will proceed with much less ranting than would have gone on had I not taken a moment.

I want to start by saying that I am well and truly sick of the whole gun control issue. Seriously. I am tired of Facebook and Twitter posts on it, I'm sick of my morning news being inundated with updates about the whole issue and what the government plans to do about it. I'm just tired of it all. That said, though, there was a post on Facebook tonight by one of my acquaintances that set me off. I want to discuss it now so that I can get all of this off my chest and get the angry out of my brain because it will irritate me all night if I do not.

First things first, I want to be clear. I am not anti-gun. We have a gun in our house. Everyone in our home knows how to operate it. I even recently went to the gun range with Dad and shot a few rounds. It was relaxing and an interesting form of recreation. Now that we have that out of the way, let's proceed.

I think there should be gun laws, and that they should be enforced. Here's a list of things I think are a good idea:

If you want to purchase a gun you should have to pass a criminal background check. I don't think people with a criminal background, especially a violent one, should be able to own a gun. I'm not talking parking tickets or whatever, either. I'm talking about drugs, robbery, assault- that sort of thing. These people have already proved that they are a danger to society and should not be allowed to further endanger it by having possession of a firearm.

I also believe you should have to take some sort of basic mental health test before you get one. No, no one is completely adjusted. But I do think that we could do more to keep guns out of the hands of maniacs by doing this.

I believe that all guns should be sold by licensed dealers who would be held responsible for the sale of weapons to unsuitable people, people who by law should not be in possession of those weapons. I also believe that every gun should be registered. This means that the serial number on each gun should be kept in a register by the government and when that gun is sold by its owner it should be re-registered in the name of its new owner. If a private gun owner should want to sell their firearm, they should be held to the same regulations as a dealer would be held to. This enhances accountability of all parties involved. Once a gun is registered, the owner should have to produce some form of annual or biannual verification that they are still in  possession of that gun. If they are not, they should be able to provide details as to where that gun has gone.

All people who own a gun should have to take classes in firearm safety and use. This is already a requirement for conceal and carry in many states. I do not think it unreasonable that it should be a requirement for all gun owners. If you're going to have a deadly weapon in your home, you should know how to operate it. I think that's reasonable.

I don't think private citizens need to own automatic weapons. Period. I have never heard one good reason they need to posses them. Not one. And no, I don't count "The Constitution says I can, and I like shooting them" as a good reason.

I am not saying that there should be no guns. I think a person has a right to protect their personal autonomy and that of their family. I think they are useful in the context of recreation and hunting. I think that using them for that purpose is fine. I do. There's nothing wrong with that. But I also think there is nothing unreasonable about wanting there to be limits to ownership as a matter of personal and public safety.

I've heard a lot of people spout statistics about gun violence versus other violence. I don't really hold with it. There have been relatively few (and none in recent memory) mass killings with weapons like knives. I'm not saying it can't be done, only that it is much harder to do. In my state, and in many of the states around me, there are already in place many restrictions on the sale of knives as well. Certain kinds are prohibited and there are rules about the ones that are sold by licensed dealers. There is no fuss over that. As an outdoorsman, I use knives and prefer them as a form of personal protection. But I do not argue that some are more dangerous than others and should be restricted.

No one seems to argue that access to explosives that can create bombs and deadly gasses should be restricted. Everyone seems to think this is reasonable. No one cries out second amendment rights over these restrictions, even though those things are also used as forms of "arms" for out "militia" - the US military. That is because it is recognized that for the common good it is much better to have restrictions to protect the citizenry of this country. I see gun control as just that, an effort to make sure that the use of these weapons is controlled.

I have never, not once -despite the hysteria of my more conservative friends- heard any elected official ever suggest that all guns should be made illegal. I have never heard them suggest that no person should be able to own them. I have only heard that there should be reasonable restrictions to the sale and purchase of those guns. I don't think that is unreasonable. If you are, as most of my friends claim, a responsible gun owner than you have already registered your firearm, taken classes, know how to use is and purchased them in a legal manner. A person such as that should have no problem with these suggestions because they are already operating within the bounds of the law. Unless, of course, they own an automatic weapon. And to all of those people I reiterate- Why? What in the name of heaven do you need one for. Give me a reasonable answer and I might change my mind. But to date, I've never heard one.

Now, for the thing that truly set me off tonight and made me want to talk about this. This picture:

As both a liberal and a rape victim I cannot tell you how much this offends and upsets me.

First, because not all rapes are preventable by the use of a gun. In fact, most rapes (statistically 80-85%) are done by someone you know, in a setting familiar to you. Sure, if you're in a dark alley you might be willing to pull out a gun and shoot that person. Unfortunately, most of us will not carry (even if we have a conceal carry permit) a gun on a date, a trip with our family to a church event or in our own homes or the homes of our friends. This is simply an impracticable solution.

Second, this is an advocating violence to repress violence. I don't agree with that. Now, I am not saying if you are attacked you shouldn't fight back. You should. In fact, I encourage every woman I know to take a rape prevention and self defense course. If you are a male and there is a local organization who will allow you to attend, by all means do so (a lot will not, since it makes women feel vulnerable, though it is certainly true that men can be attacked as well, and that shouldn't be forgotten.). But pulling out a gun and shooting creates a whole new ballgame when it comes to violence. Yes, I agree that preservation of personal autonomy is important, and sometimes deadly force is necessary, but I also think that it is important to remember that once a gun is put into the picture of any scenario the likelihood of someone being gravely injured or killed is substantially raised. Do I think sex offenders should be punished? Absolutely. To the fullest extent of the law. But I also think it is important to be mindful of the consequences of your actions, self-defense or no.

Most of you who have known me for some time know that I was attacked by my pastor's son (whom I was dating) and several of his friends. Had I pulled out a gun and shot them, I cannot even begin to imagine the fallout from that decision. Would it have stopped the attack? Maybe. But several of those men were also gun  owners, and they could have hurt me as well. Would I have stopped it if I could? You know I would have. But the use of a gun would not have aided me in any substantial way in that situation, and I am aware of it. There had not been, in the whole of my life, a single situation where I was involved in some sort of personal violence where I would have been okay with pulling a gun and shooting that person. Those of you who know me well will know how that speaks volumes to the amount of personal control I have now, considering the horror I have of those events and the resulting personal damage that it caused me.

Finally, and I cannot say this enough, this picture is a vile and horrible way of scaring people into the acceptance of guns. I do not advocate or own a gun because I was raped. I do not advocate the use of rape as a means of convincing anyone that your political agenda is acceptable. Only a person who has been raped or who has a loved one who has lived through that terrible ordeal can understand the magnitude of the experience, or the horror that this sort of threat presents. I do not like being told that if I do not allow unrestricted access to guns for all that I or someone I care about will have that happen to them. I do not like rape as a threat. It is unconscionable in my opinion. To further that threat with pictures of rape violence is not only terrifying, it is crass and insensitive. As a liberal, it offends me to no end that any conservative would believe or put about the idea that I would rather have a person violently violated then allow them to protect themselves. As a victim of rape, as an intelligent person and as a woman it disgusts me that anyone would use a tactic like this to frighten and pressure me into agreeing with their political agenda.

I have no problem with the gun control debate, so long as it is intelligent and civil. I think there are reasonable solutions that everyone can agree on. But I do not agree and will never condone the use of that sort of tactic to encourage people to make a certain decision. I am thoroughly tired of listening to the hysteria and accusations of both sides and a am irritated to no end that I am forced to look at images like that one any time someone wants to shock or cause debate, or whatever.

I think that, in all things, being reasonable and intelligent can solve this issue.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, I can go about my business and avoid a personal explosion on Facebook with regards to this particular political issue. I'm always willing, of course, to discuss the issue, though I would encourage everyone (always) to be reasonable, rational and avoid the name calling and pettiness that always seems to accompany this sort of hot-button political issue.

Peace and Love, Y'all
AGxx

You Make Me Feel Like A Candied Apple

So you can thank one of my friends for posting another sex survey, because you know I had to fill it out. It was a good time. I don't think I've answered most of these before, so new stuff. That's always fun, right?

1: Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer?

Couch. I know this sounds totally boring, but honestly, it’s just more comfortable. I’m all about comfort.

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or bad, and why?

Great. Because Kitten always is.

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

Good grief, I’ve been reading so many romance novels lately that it seems like every fictional character would be. From classic literature thought? I’m certain Rhett Butler knew what he was doing. He said as much, didn’t he? As for women, I’m pretty sure I’d have a nice time with Elizabeth Bennett. She seems playful.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

Making out

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

In a graveyard. It is just so disrespectful.

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when:

Oh, good lord, I have a thousand of these. I think the winner would be when one of my former girlfriends stuck her gum on her palm during sex without me knowing about it. It got, uh, tangled up. I ended up having to use a razor to get it all out. Not a great day. Certainly made me feel awkward after.

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

I don’t know. I’ve had some weird things get me going. Usually it’s a song that isn’t meant to be sexy at all. Once or twice a cartoon has done it. Seems weird to me, anyway.

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone:

I assume this means tie them up? I’ve always been partial to soft fabrics. I think it’s more comfortable.

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

Innuendo

10: Top or bottom?

Yes, please. I don’t really have a preference. It depends on my mood.

11: We were about to have sex but then ________

My grandmother showed up at my house unannounced.

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

One is fine. More is fun. I don’t even care if I don’t have one. As long as I have a good time.

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Truly, I don’t have much that I would be ashamed to have someone find, although I put all of my “personal” stuff in a specific drawer…

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

I’ve never had any truly weird ones. I know that’s a boring answer, but it’s true.

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

Like: taste, how messy it can be

Dislike: much harder…I guess that you have to stop at some point?

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

I had a partner once who wanted to use the ice cream stuff Magic Shell on me. It was weird. Also, it didn’t work because I’m not, you know, ice cream temperature.

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

Yes. It was fine.

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Oh, this is a touchy subject for me. I’ll substitute the word protection for a condom and say, no not really, if you’re in a casual relationship. If you are in an intimate relationship, you and your partner have been tested and have discussed it and are completely exclusive and you trust them, then I think you can talk about not using protection. That’s my situation. But you have to know your partner is honest. You also have to be prepared for the consequences of not using it (for heterosexuals, pregnancy) if you do make that decision.

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

I don’t think I’ve ever had a teacher I thought was sexy. I had one once in college who was a former marine and tattooed everywhere and he had a badass personality, and that is (in theory) pretty sexy. But it wasn’t something that made him attractive to me, if that makes sense. I can find someone sexy and not be attracted to them.

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

NO. I don’t like food in bed. Ever.

21: How big is too big:

When it hurts all the time or they don’t know how to use it.

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

Watersports. Ew.

23: Biggest turn on:

I don’t think there’s one set thing. I suppose being sexy?

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

My back, my wrist, the inside of my lower lip.

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

When I’m in a bad mood or feeling self-conscious. It always ends badly.

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?

If it is real, sure.

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

I won’t say their name here. *evil grin*

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

When you hurt yourself?

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

This seems like a good place to brag and mention all those times you hear “you’re the best I’ve ever had” but that’s silly. Not to mention, you can never tell if someone is just stroking your ego. I love it when my partner tells me I make them feel loved, or special. That means I’m doing it right.

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

I prefer tasteful grooming, but I would rather my partner be comfortable with themselves than it be to my taste. Self-confidence is always sexy.

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

Yeah, it can be

32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fucking.

Give us a few hours alone and it’s a good day

33: What your favorite part of your body?

My hair. But that has nothing to do with sex.

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

All of them, especially kissing

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex?

I’m not certain about these abbreviations (I won’t lie) but I will say that love does not equal sex or vise versa, although they can go hand in hand and are usually better that way.

36: What do you wear to bed?

Nothing

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

I don’t remember. Whenever it was, it obviously wasn’t a big deal to me.

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

Yes, yes and yes.

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

Yes, but it has been a good long while.

40: Have/would you ever have sex in public?

I have and no, that’s not normally my thing.

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

Yes and Yes. I’m in a triad. That’s part of the deal, right?

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

I’ve never chosen anything random. How vanilla am I now…?

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

I have before. I’d like to not do it again.

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

No and probably not. Like I said, I’m all about comfort. And I don’t care for planes.

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

Um, I think I’ve had it to most of the ones I’ve wanted to. I like Goldfrapp…

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

Massages

47: Most attractive celebrity?

Male? I’m really into Robert Downey Jr. Female? Michelle Rodriguez is hot.

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

Yes. And I watch straight porn. But I like the real thing better.

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

Two weeks old

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

No.

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

Um, I hate overt come ons. They’re lame.

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

I have slight ones on my legs from when I was a dancer. They make me feel a bit shy but no one I know of has cared.

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

No. I’m a lesbian. But I do like going down on ladies. A bunch.

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

I guess it depends on the tattoo, but I don’t really care. If I am interested in them, the ink won’t make a difference.

55: How would you feel about taking someone’s virginity?

I have. I suppose it is a special moment for them, and you should try to be good to them, but I don’t think it’s the end all be all of sex.

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

I hate food in the bedroom. But I would especially discourage chocolate, meats (especially pork) mint (the burn) and of course, gum.

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

No.

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? how long have you had it?)

Yes. I own a ton of them. I have bondage toys and implements and stuff. Most of them are relatively new, because they need to be in good condition if you don’t want to make yourself sick.

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

Sure

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

Yes. Probably.

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

I’d rather not work in the sex trade honestly. But if I had to choose, probably prostitute. There’s no permanent record of that, is there.

62: Do you watch porn?

Yes.

63: How small is too small?

Size doesn’t matter if you know how to please your partner.

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

Yes. It has happened various times, for various things. None of them, in my opinion, we’re terribly freaky things, either. I’ve had a few seriously vanilla partners. Like, anything not missionary position was wild.

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

Kitten. It always does.

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

Sure.

67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

Depends on what I’m wearing.

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

No.

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

Well, I’m not a boy, so I don’t know. I mean, that’s a different form of masturbation, so I wouldn’t think it would be all that special. It seems like that would be extremely uncomfortable.

70: Booty or Boobs?

Sure? I don’t care one way or another. I truly don’t, although I suppose I look at the backside more than the front. Neither one are my particular fetish.

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Captain Kitty.

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

Well, there weren’t referees or anything…yes, of course I have.

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Yes. Because I was unhappy. Because I wanted to. Because I wanted more. And no, I don’t feel guilty about it either.

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

Alecya G

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

*redacted*

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

Oh dear lord. No thank you. But if they did? I suppose I would make sure they washed and changed the sheets. It’s a little late by that time, right? Then again, my parents are divorced. I might die of shock.

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina?

Huh.

78: If you had a penis for a day, what are five things you would do?

Buy condoms. Have sex. Wear guy jeans. Wear Boxers, briefs and a man-thong, so I could have an opinion on the issue. 

Make My World Stop

I know I've been rather quiet this last month so I thought I would drop in. I've had a nasty combination of tons of headaches and lots of work. None of these things do much to improve my disposition, so I suppose it is for the better than I wasn't around to be grumpy. Piled on top of that I've had an unusual amount of beta work, which keeps me fairly busy. Of course,  I took that on myself, but I wasn't expecting some of the projects I took on to be so time consuming. Most of those are done now, though, and it gives me the opportunity to do a little more writing on my own, which I am happy for.

The majority of my non-sick time has been spent planning our trip for May and June. I don't know if I mentioned it or not. Since Kitten is graduating, Kmom is taking us on an 18 day trip. We've decided to go to South Carolina. We're going to spend a majority of it camping, though we'll be roughing it in hotels in Charleston. I'm really excited about the trip.

We're planning on doing some historic tours and some ghost tours as well. We'll get a chance to explore a city I have long been wanting to visit. Once we finish up there we'll be going to Hunting Island to camp, a great place for hiking, bird watching, paddling and enjoying the outdoors. We'll head to Columbia next, to check out the capitol city and explore the area around Sesquicentennial State Park. There's a lot to see and do. I've been banking on a trip to their zoo, which is one of the top rated ones in the US by travelers. So it should be a good time. After we hit the capitol, we're planning on moving up to the mountain region. This is the part I am really looking forward to. We're going to spend five days exploring trails, waterfalls and the mountain region. We're going to white water raft the Chattooga River, which should be an exciting time, and enjoy the upper country to its fullest.

Most people would probably not consider this a very relaxing time, but I am looking forward to it. While we're away I'm going to try and quit smoking. I figure if I can be distracted and entertained for 18 days without smoking, I've got it made. I think I can do it.

Work has been...well, interesting. ABC office is certainly different. I no longer feel like a moron, though sometimes I think some of the staff still think I am. It irritates me that some people will judge my intelligence based on my lack of a college degree, but there you go. It makes me want one more, that's for certain. Either way, I've learned my way around the office, made a few friends and I've discovered I understand a lot more than I give myself credit for. I'll admit to some days feeling frustrating, because I cannot work without supervision because I have not the discretion to decide which things to keep and which to get rid of. There seems to be a reluctance to pack things away. Having been through a couple office moves before, I know this is going to lead to a hectic end of my employ. However, I do not call the shots, so I can only wait and see how things go. Maybe I'll be wrong. (I doubt it, though.)

Otherwise, life moves on at its slumbering pace. I've gotten next to no writing done, though I have an excellent beta who is working with me on my old MS and giving me fabulous feedback. Every now and again what I need is a good whipping over my writing, and she's helping me there. I love support, but a little straight shooting never hurts. Its improving my writing, certainly.

Yesterday I also talked to Flyguy for the first time in months. Since I stopped working at Casa Bueno I've seen less and less of him. I expected a little of that, because he is a busy person and so am I. I didn't expect for him to drop off the face of the planet, though. That was annoying. And disappointing. Of course, I've always been one of those people who believes that friendship is a two way street and I won't be the one to put in all the effort. There's no point in that. I won't chase after someone when I have a life full of people who actually WANT to see me. Still, I confess I was a little disappointed. He's gottten himself a girlfriend. She's not the person I would have picked out, and I think she is way to young but that's not my call either. Between her and work he's had no time for me. So I stopped bothering.

And then yesterday. I went to pick up Oscelot from work and when I came in I smiled at him and Mr. Boss and he came over and sat down and talked to me. It felt strange, because I hadn't spoken to him in so long. He asked a bunch of questions about how I am doing, though I am sure he could have gotten any of what I told him from Oscelot if he had asked her. He made sure to tell me how very busy he had been and then apologize for not talking to me. On the one hand, I feel like I'm being a jerk when I feel like he's mouthing platitudes, but then, I think I'm right too. We'll see. I expect he'll drop by later this week or early next if he truly means to try and make things up. Either way, I've talked the whole situation over with Sakura, and I've resigned myself to the fact that he's really not going to be a part of my life unless I throw myself in his way. And I won't do that.

In the meantime, I've got tons of spellwork I need to be working on, and I have lessons to plan and a book to write. I also have one to edit. I've got plenty to do before we head off into the wilds of South Carolina (including convincing my mom I'm not going to die while on the trip!). Kitten and I just passed the five year dating mark, and I'm happy about that. Its amazing how fast time moves when you aren't looking. It is a wonderful thing. I'm so lucky to have her.

I hope everyone here is having a pleasant new year so far and has a lot of fun things to be out doing and enjoying.

AGxx

Na Na Na Na Na Na YEAH!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am a huge fan of Jane Austen. I've got copies, sometimes multiple ones, of all her works. I own all the DVD adaptations. I even have some of the fan work and mashups like Seth Graham Smith's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." If there's something out there that smacks of Austen, I've probably got it in my house somewhere.

Naturally, I'm a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice. Its my favorite work of hers, and I think its a brilliantly written novel. For me, there isn't much in this world that's as fun as cracking open my incredibly dog-eared copy of P&P and rereading the exploits of Elizabeth Bennet. I love her humor and wit. I love her mistakes and her ability to learn with humility. She's a great character.

About two or three months ago Sakura came over, and knowing I am a huge fan, he asked me if I had seen the new YouTube series based on P&P. I hadn't. Naturally, I was a little leery of an online adaptation of my favorite book. I thought there was no way that anyone could make the book as engaging on screen as it is in print. I love the movie adaptations, but none of them, up until now, really spoke to me.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries has changed all of that.

This is Lizzie Bennet, and I'm a little bit in love.

The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is one of the most wonderful adaptations of any book I've ever seen. And I've seen plenty of them. Its part of why I am so critical of movie/screen adaptations of great books. They normally ruin the original. I loved Jurassic Park before I read the book. Gone with the Wind is a great movie, but it will never compare to the original writing. Even the recent adaptations of books like Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) and The Hunger Games (Susanne Collins), while wonderful, and really close to the original story, leave a sense of wanting when it comes to viewing versus reading. Not so with the fabulous LBD.

The whole premise of this adaptation is that Lizzie is a graduate student in Mass Communications and is doing a vlog about her life as part of her final project. I love this premise, because it gives the viewer, immediately, a solid reason as to why Lizzie would be recording the craziness of her life and family for all of mankind to view. After you deal with that idea (and its used well throughout the storyline- not just as a set-up for the series) you can dive right in to the awesomeness that is LBD.

The characters are amazing. I love how the creators of the show Bernie Su and Hank Green have managed to keep the show, despite the pantings of the fandom (and there's a surprisingly huge fandom) focused on Lizzie and in a more peripheral way, her family. This isn't about Lizzie and Darcy or about Jane and Bing Lee (great name, right?). The creators got it right- this video series is all about the girl making it. And as an added benefit, you get to see a wonderful cast pf characters, the ones you loved so much in the book, come to life in ways you never imagined.

I won't spoil what happens in the series for you, because I know you're going to trust my judgement of all things Austen and go check it out. You should, really. Even if you go on a marathon watch, you've only lost six hours, and really, that's like watching Lord of the Rings in its entirety. You can do it. But I will say this- it is seriously addictive. When I first picked up the channel on You Tube (you can click here to go there when you're done reading here) I watched the first few episodes, decided it was too much fun for the girls to miss out, so I stopped, waited for them to get home from work, and then spent the evening in front of the computer with them watching the series up until we ran out of videos. We skipped dinner, ordered pizza and ate in front of the television. That's huge in our house. The only other time we've done that was when we streamed election results this last November. From then on, the girls and I watch the newest updates as soon as we can. When the girls started missing some because life gets you busy sometimes, I started watching on my own. And then I discovered what geniuses the creators of the show really are.

There are tumblr accounts. There are twitter accounts. (Go to this page to get them all) Lydia has her own channel on YouTube. Charlotte's little sister has her own channel, too. Heck- Lydia's cat Kitty Bennet (see what they did there?) has its own Twitter account. Weeks before you even see some characters they start popping up on tumblr and twitter, they follow Lizzie's videos. Its amazing and intricate and smart. Pemberley has its own channel, twitter feed. It blows my mind the amount of time that they creators of the show spend working these little trans-media tidbits into the show. Last week there was a fandom explosion. I won't tell you what its about, I'll let you catch up on the series, but there were rumblings of what was going on in the comments on Lydia's channel days before the video that dropped the bomb was released. But if you don't read YouTube comments, you wouldn't know. I didn't. Until I heard. Until I went to find them myself. And I was mind-blown again. So mind-blown, in fact, that I immediately called Sakura to see if he had seen/heard it yet.

This is a series made to be enjoyed by an internet savvy generation. Can you just watch the LBD videos and enjoy the series? Oh, absolutely. They write it with those people in mind. But when you get down to brass tacks, there is so much more there for a person who lives on their computer. Like me. Like most of my friends. I've never experienced something like this- a form of entertainment that is so interactive and exciting. As an experience, its incredible. I get up every day and like the fan geek that I am, I check the channels, I check YouTube, twitter and tumblr. I check it throughout the day to see what's happening. I subscribed on Facebook. I'm obsessed- something no other adaptation has been able to do to me. Do I love the Hunger Games? Sure, but I don't check the fan sites. I lost the obsession with Potter like that days after it started. But for me, LBD is going about this the right way. I can't get enough.

What's even more amazing to me, is that the show's creators, the actors, the producers are all so open about what they do and why they do it. There's hangouts on YouTube and live chats via twitter and Facebook. The people who created the show listen to the playlists that fans make, they look at the fan art. They listen to the joys and sorrows of the fans. They think of things I would never have thought of...when Darcy asks Lizzie to the theater they actually know what's playing in SF at the moment of the airing, what's on in neighboring cities and they even have head cannon answers that make sense within the storyline, even if they aren't playing. The crazy thing is, you'll never know...it never comes up in the story. But they have that answer for you, just because you might ask. I love that.

Even if you don't care how revolutionary and wonderful the adaptation is, the story itself is enough to keep you happy. The execution is amazing. In a vlog, we know we won't see everyone...so how do you deal with that in an adaptation?

Meet Mrs and Mr. Bennet, as portrayed by Lizzie and her bff Charlotte. Its genius, right? The use of costume theater is an amazing idea, and one they use to great effect. Especially with Bing Lee, Darcy and Caroline, who you don't see on camera until much later in the series.

The dialog is fun. The lines are witty. And there is still an amazing amount of original Austen left in there, just in case you're a Janeite. The way the characters are developed and adapted for modern times is great. They're completely believable. The actors inhabit those characters completely. I've even seen on a behind the scenes video somewhere that the actors, for the most part, use their own clothes for the shoots. They are the character they play.

I can't recommend this series enough. I truly can't. But if you don't want to take my word for it, check out these articles about the series:

The Guardian calling it the best adaptation ever. Seriously.
Buzzfeed calling the series YouTube's hidden Masterpiece Theater
Mrs. Magazine discusses how great it is that the series is Lizzie centered here

Those are just a sampling from new sources (The Wall Street Journal even covered the show in January!)

Beyond my trying to convince all of you there's nothing better to watch than this series, I have to express the joy and admiration I feel every time I interact with this series. Yeah, yeah...maybe its just lonely housewife talk. Maybe I'm a huge geek. But in a world where I am increasingly irritated every time I open Facebook or Twitter or whatever social media platform I'm on it is simply wonderful to have something to look forward to. I like knowing that even though the war (its not a debate anymore) about gun control still rages online, even though I still get spammed with Jesus posts on Facebook, despite the fact that I can't get through a day without seeing some stupid, cryptic, passive aggressive post somewhere I can count on Lizzie and her world to make me smile. Even when the series gets dramatic (believe me, it does) there's something sadly real about it, something human, and it makes me relate a lot more than I do when I'm looking at my friends posting about how they need (another) new iPhone but are too broke to get it yet. Is that sad? Yeah, probably. But the truth is that the LBD has managed to create a show that taps in to the essence of what makes us human, fallible and ultimately lovable.

Have you ran into the LBD yet? What did you think? If you haven't, go check it out. Let me know how you feel. Even if you aren't an Austen fan, you'll thank me.

AGxx

Note- the title for this post is the last line of the outtro to Lydia's videos.

Second note- obviously I don't own any of the articles, photos or people I've mentioned. I do not work for the news sources I cited. My opinions are the only thing I possess.

I Just Want to Bang On The Drum All Day

So I'm starting week two of the temp job at Alphabet Soup and so far things are still pretty boring.

I may have mentioned it last post, but last week I spent most of the week going through a list of nearly (I checked today)650 client files that needed to be cataloged and destroyed. For all I was concerned that I might be under-qualified to work in this office, the most I ever did was pick up a highlighter and mess around in Excel. Though, to be honest, I think I spent an equal amount of time simply watching or trying to figure out exactly what goes on in the office. Not exactly challenging stuff.

Today I came to a startling revelation- I think some of the people in the office think I'm an idiot. Not in that "they're so much more genius than I am way" but more of a "should we let her use the copier" kind of way. Come to think of it, I've never seen the copier if they have one. Hmmm. I came to this conclusion after realizing that the other temp Katy Kaye (I love the alliteration in her real name, so I'm keeping it up here) is working on scanning and messing around with the other stuff on the computer while I sit in the floor of my boss's office destroying files (what I did most of the day today). Apparently, Katie is much smarter than me, if she gets to mess with payroll and grant work and stuff. I'd be offended except I truly don't care and honestly, we're being paid the same as temps, so I'm getting off rather easy, aren't I? Plus, I like organizational work. And I got to start that this afternoon when I finished all my cross-referencing. Again, though, Boss seemed surprised that I was able to complete the list on Excel so fast (good grief, it was just deleting stuff) and impressed that I thought to make an index of all the files I am packing away while I do it, so that they are easily located. Almost insulting, but I'll let it go.

There was also that moment when Paper Factory, another one of the higher up types, came into Boss's office to do some work with her. While she stepped out PF asked me if I was normally a student at the university. I looked up long enough to tell her no, I was normally a house wife, and then went back to my task. She made a noise somewhere between a confused grunt and a squeak of disdain. I let it pass. She (from what I can tell) thinks she's pretty hot stuff already. There's no point in me trying to impress her with other jobs I've had or my wonderful mental or organizational skills. She's going to assume Kmom got me the job whether I was qualified or not. She's pretty well right anyway. After all, I did and she did.

I'm looking forward to another few days of packing things away. I'm not terribly sure what I'll do after that, but I'm sure they can come up with something. They've got a lot on their plates.

In other news, Kitten's birthday celebration was nice. We played Bingo, and even though none of us won it was fun. I got to talk to some of Kitten's coworkers outside of work, and they all seem pretty nice. She had a good time, and that's really what means something, right?

I've still not heard back on my book yet, but I suppose I should keep being patient. I also got a new computer last week, so I'm having a good time adjusting to my new keyboard and having internet that runs at a normal speed. Its pretty cool. Its been very useful as I search for fun places for us to go see while we're in South Carolina. I can't wait for that vacation. Although, I think my mom is a little panicked now that she knows we've decided to go whitewater rafting on the Chattooga River. I think it will be awesome. My mom thinks I'll be coming home in a pine box. I'm more concerned with the fact that SC seems to have the highest concentration, with the greatest variety, of poisonous snakes in the US. Good times. The state park at Myrtle Beach actually has a warning that there are so many copperheads that you should never wear open toes shoes. Even in the water. Creepy.

Otherwise, life seems to be going on normally. Nothing earth shattering here.

Anything fun going on with you all?

AGxx

She Works Hard For The Money

Despite the fact that I absolutely love being a housewife, I have a job right now. No panicking. We're not strapped for cash or anything. This certainly isn't permanent. But Kittens mom (Kmom, from now on) works in an office at the local university and they're in desperate need of help. They're moving buildings in a month or so and things get crazy around a move. Throw in that their normal office coordinator moved to another job, and they're seriously short handed. So she asked me if I wanted to come in and temp.

Now, I had originally declined to apply for the office coordinating job because I didn't feel like it would be good for me, and I also didn't think I would be up to it. And having seen the job firsthand, I can say without a doubt that I wouldn't have been able to hack it. So I'm glad I made the decision I did. That said, that is nothing like what I am doing now. Right now, I'm sort of working as a clean up clerk and jack of all trades. Today was my second day on the job.

Its an interesting place.

The first thing I'll say is that I am, without a doubt, the least educated, dumbest person who works there. Now, I'm not being down on myself, truly. I'm a smart woman. But these people...they're geniuses. Of course, they also work with businesses and numbers and all of those things that I don't usually deal with. I'm already out of my depth when speaking with them. But the whole lot of them are really, really intelligent. Yesterday the longest conversation I had not pertaining to work was a discussion about the benefits of Title 9 for women. Seriously. That's the water cooler talk around the office. There's another woman working there who's writing a book or a screenplay or something like that. And it sounds like she knows what she's doing. Even the secretary is pretty darn sharp. Yeah. Lots of smart people.

And its not a casual office either. I dress up to work. All the guys look like Mr. Rogers only young and good looking. But there is some serious argyle and neck-tie action going on there. All the women dress nice. My boss wears some seriously intense power outfits. Its insane. They're all business there.

Which is why I was so surprised to see how terribly NOT ORGANIZED everything is. And that's my job. Help with the move, make things more streamlined. Now that I can do. I did have a good laugh because I was starting a new file and I was in their (train wreck of a) supply closet looking for file folders. When I found them I thought, I wonder what color they use for this type of file. Then I laughed, because they don't have a color coding system. It seems like they have no system at all. I've told Kitten I'm going to beg them to keep me on long enough to let me re-do their filing system and make their offices easier to access from an organization point of view. I'll even do it for free if the money isn't there. Its that bad. One of the higher ups...her office looks like a paper and file factory exploded next to a laptop store. Its frightening. And my boss, she has like, four inboxes, I think. Yeah, no system whatsoever.

In spite of all of this, I feel like I am being overpaid. I'm making substantially more than I made as a manager at Casa Bueno and its a little frightening given how little I'm actually doing. Yesterday I went through a bunch of files and made sure that they were all organized by date, most recent on top. Then I brought them into the office and set them somewhere for my boss to decide which stuff from the folders she wanted to scan into their system since they're also trying to go paperless when they move. Frightening stuff. Also, to me it made no sense to put them in order. Why not scan first, then order them the proper way, rather than tearing them up after all that work? I have no idea, but I suppose that's their prerogative.

I fully expected today I would spend the morning scanning the papers into the system. Someone else, apparently, had done it while I was away last night. (I only work from 9-1) Instead, this morning I was given a list of about 200 inactive files to find in their cabinets to be destroyed, after cross checking them to make sure they were actually inactive. I only found about 25-30 of them. So I spent the rest of my day highlighting the old "destroyed files" documents to cross reference the ones on my list that were not in the cabinets but for some reason still in the system. I found most of them, but then, I didn't make it very far back. I assume that I'll spend the rest of my morning tomorrow finding the rest. Of course, I would also assume I would then destroy the files and delete them from the system, but then again, I can never really tell what's going to happen. Maybe I'll be doing something completely different. There's never any telling.

I mean, I spent the better part of an hour yesterday listening to my boss talk on the phone about a bank account and panic about how far behind she was. She keeps telling me all these things she wanted to do...I felt a little bit like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada. I had no pen or pencil or paper and was trying to keep in my head what I was supposed to be doing. Even then, today I came in and waited a good twenty minutes before I was given instructions on what to do. And I was on the clock. I spent another twenty minutes watching one of the Mr. Rogers guys add a second screen to my boss' computer. That was thrilling. Then we talked about the prints she had on her walls. Andrew Llyod Wright, I think. They're carvings of some sort.

The work is easy. I'm not challenged at all, which is interesting, because I know there is challenging stuff in their office. I'm just wondering if they're afraid of overtaxing me, or if they're just so behind that this is truly what needs to be done. I've mentioned to Kmom that my boss needs a secretary. She said she was pretty sure that was what they hired me for, though I've yet to touch a letter or whatever. Of course, I am messing with the filing, so maybe that's what she means.

All that said, I'm having a good time. It gives me something to do during the day. I'm still getting my writing done, and I managed all the housework between the hours I dropped the girls off at work (our Hondra has an oil leak, so we're back to sharing the truck) and when I had to go in at nine. I love to organize things, so this is totally my cup of tea. I am really shy, and I remember it now, because I have a hard time talking to people in the office, even when they make an effort. I was in Mr. Rogers #1's office today for most of the morning because the cabinets are in there. He tried really hard to make small talk. I mostly grunted in reply. When I did talk it was because I had to ask a question. I felt bad. He seems really nice and I know he was trying to put me at ease...no such luck. Also? He types really, really fast. Like, I thought I was fast until I listened to the sound of his hands on the keyboard for about an hour. I've decided I need to spend more time at the keyboard, because he is easily at somewhere around 150 WPM. He has to be. I type about 88 WPM corrected, and I know I don't sound like that when I type. It was almost like a symphony.

I'll be sure to keep you all posted about my work at Alphabet Soup office. That's my name for it because the title of their office is really long, like 15 words and it doesn't make a pronounceable acronym. I'm sure I'll have lots of fun tales before the month is out. That's how long they think they'll n eed me. I'm betting I'll still be there in March. We'll see. I move fast. Maybe they will too.

Whatever you're doing, have fun.

AGxx

It Must Be True, I Read It In The Daily Mail

As a writer and avid reader I am always interested in how people (and media) view the literary world.   Most of the people who know me as a writer and reader know that I read a lot of reviews, that I am pretty in touch with the literary community at large. There isn't a whole lot that surprises me anymore. However, this article by The UK Daily Mail really threw me for a loop.

Now, because I am all about source material, I suggest you take a moment to read it. Go on. I'll wait. Back? Sweet. For those of you who know that I'm going to surmise the article and didn't read it- bravo. It says, in essence, that there is a disturbing trend in Young Adult (YA) literature of books that involve harsh and realistic situations in teen life-- suicide, self-harm, terminal illness, etc. It further says that these books have a harmful effect on their readers, that children will read them and be emotionally damaged by them. Not only that, but they are more likely to engage in self-harm, suicide attempts and inappropriate sexual behaviors. It cites several young adult books, though the two most often referenced are The Fault in Our Stars by John Green and Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. It is a cautionary style article that almost reads as an open letter to parents and educators warning of the dangers of what they call "sick lit." Let your kids read this, it says, and they'll turn in to sexual deviants, drug users, cutters- they'll even try to kill themselves. Stuff like this, they say, is just too depressing. Especially since these books are being marketed to12 year olds.

I completely disagree with this article. Completely and whole-heartedly. In part, I think this sort of opinion treats young adults as though they are stupid, mindless lemmings. The idea that just because a teen reads about a character committing suicide means they'll want to is silly. Give the kids some credit. While you're handing out that credit, give them some for being able to handle emotionally difficult situations. By the time you are twelve you've likely had some sort of real-life experience dealing with grief, suffering, unhappiness, sex, poverty or low self-esteem. They know what sex is. They know what cancer is. If they've even caught a glimpse of the television they know there are bad things in the world. They aren't morons. Young people are usually far more observant that adults give them credit for. Moreover, I think there's been some sort of disconnect, because I don't know that they're technically paying attention to the difference between Middle Grade literature, YA12+ literature and YA14+ literature, all of which have very different content.

Laying those things aside, though, I'd like to know why it is the Daily Mail feels that other YA books  might be preferable to the ones they object to because they are too "real life" for the kids to handle? I think there's a strong argument to be made, using their logic, that you shouldn't let children read at all. Let's work with this theory that kids are gullible and they can be emotionally damaged by what they read. Let's also agree they might choose to act out in a particular manner because they identify with a character. Running with these assumptions, lets look at other popular YA books and see how they might affect the children.

Let's just jump in with the most obvious. Harry Potter (JK Rowling). Great, intelligent, healthy books- right? Heavens no. Harry Potter teaches children to subvert authority. Harry, Hermione and Ron are constantly breaking rules and disrespecting authority figures and they are constantly rewarded for it. It teaches them that its okay to do bad things if your parents do it too. Draco Malfoy makes out like a bandit at the end of the series, no nevermind that he's responsible for the deaths of several people, the mauling of Bill Weasley and any other number of bad things that happen throughout the books. It teaches our kids that smart people like Hermione, Luna and Ginny are really only worth having around if you can get something out of them or if they're good looking. What's that you say? Harry Potter teaches kids witchcraft? Oh, well, let's just abandon them for something more suitable.

How about Twilight? (Stephanie Meyer) That's a popular YA book. Here's a nice healthy love story about a girl who falls for a good looking guy. She likes him even though he treats her like crap. She likes him even though he's emotionally manipulative and controlling. We'll just ignore the fact that he wants to kill her at first. Or that he's almost 100 years older than her. Or that he's dead. Barring those things, Twilight also teaches us that it is okay to lie to our parents. They're probably overbearing- what with the caring about us and wanting us to be safe and all. It teaches us that it is okay to take unnecessary and stupid risks for the people we love, especially when they've done something stupid that puts their life in danger. Moreover, it teaches us that if the boy/girl we like doesn't like us back, or dumps us, its okay to act like life is over. I mean, there's nothing to life as a teenager outside of having a boy/girlfriend. Right? And those people who actually love you, who want to take care of you, who want to make you feel like you're the most special person ever? Screw them. They don't understand who you really are. Oh, you don't like Twilight either? Too much vampire and werewolf action? Let's move on then.

How about The Hunger Games Trilogy (Suzanne Collins)?  Now there is a cultural phenomenon. I hear a lot of schools are assigning it to their students to read. Well, they shouldn't. First off, this is a post-democracy North America. We should never suggest to teenagers that there might come a time when democracy is not the accepted world-wide governing standard. Also, this book is set after ice-caps melt and nuclear weapons have been used. That's too upsetting to the kids. We don't want them to think about the social or political or environmental consequences of their actions. That's too upsetting for them. Worse, this is a book where kids kill other kids. Yes, I am aware that the main characters will die if they don't kill the other kids. It doesn't matter. Killing is wrong and they should take the high road. Reading this will cause children to think it is acceptable to kill people. Worse, it will breed in them the desire to use weapons. It will. What's worse, one of the heroes (Haymich) is an alcoholic. It glorifies drinking. And it paints an undesirable picture of people who want to live in comfort, and who care about fads and fashion.  These books clearly are trying to impart socialist lessons that are anti-consumer culture. We can't have that. This book also blatantly glorifies sexuality. Katniss and two different boys kiss. Sometimes more than once. And Katniss and Peeta sleep together in the same bed, even. The end of the series is also wildly inappropriate. All of that death and war is upsetting, and Katniss being medicated with the future equivalent of Morphine tells children its okay to use drugs, even prescription ones, to deal with depression. They will eventually draw the conclusion that using drugs for other purposes is okay. Didn't you see how they painted the morphlings from District 6 in a completely sympathetic light?

Perhaps the problem with these books is that they're too recent. We should address the classics we read when we were growing up. There was nothing upsetting in those books. I mean, nothing that would scar a child like these current ones do...

Except that the March girls in Little Women (Alcott) are poor. And Beth dies. And several times in the book its rather implied that they're on the brink of starvation. In Hiedi (Spyri)  one of the main characters is a cripple. Ditto The Secret Garden (Hodgeson-Burnett). On top of that, it teaches children its okay to be brats if you're ill or you've had bad things happen to you. Good lord, A Little Princess (also by Burnett) teaches children that if you're smart and good and well behaved and rich you'll be well loved, but that if you are smart and good and well behaved and poor you'll be mistreated and you'll live an unhappy life because of it. Woodsong (Paulsen) is far too graphic with animal violence and only teaches children escapism- what kind of person actually lives in the woods and raises dogs for sled racing? No normal person. You definitely can't let them read fairy tales. Not the real ones! They're graphic, violent and full of inappropriate language and witchcraft and such. I'd tell you to let them see the clean, Disney versions of them, but since Disney loves gay people, we can't have that either.

Yes, indeed, children's literature is clearly unhealthy. What we really need is to get back to good old-fashioned morals.  Children should read the Bible. After all, the Bible has no graphic violence, sexism, racism, or blatant sexuality. Nope, none at all. Wait- what? It does? Well, hell.

I think its clear, then, what has to be done. We can't let children read anymore. Nope. Can't do it. If we do there's no getting around it, our children will be damaged. Or so goes the logic of the UK Daily Mail.

Honestly, I read a lot as a child. Not just the books I mentioned (well, the classics, the others hadn't been published yet.) but many others. I wasn't scarred by The Goosebumps books(Stein). Sweet Valley High (Pascal) had no effect on my burgeoning sexuality or my self esteem. I was not irreparably damaged when I read Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (Schwartz). The Boxcar Children (Warner) didn't make me want to run away.  The first time I stumbled across a romance novel at 13 I didn't immediately run out and have sex. I wasn't scarred by the trials and tribulations of Laura Ingalls Wilder in her Little House series. Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew made me no more nosy than I already was. James and The Giant Peach (Dahl) didn't cause me to cuss, or want to run away, it didn't make me afraid of bugs. Honestly the only effect that book had on me at the time was a propensity to try a rhyme all of my words and sing like the bugs. By the time I was in 4th grade I was checking out books from the Jr. High side of my school's library. I remained unscathed. As I got older I branched into more adult, more graphic books. I've survived all of those as well.

Here's the thing, children are generally aware of the world around them. Give them a chance and they'll surprise you. Its amazing what they learn, what they absorb and their capacity for compassion, love and internalizing the life lessons that books like the ones I mentioned teach. Literature is a tool in which writers reach out to the world. Sometimes it is to make a connection, to teach a lesson or to share an experience. But all of those reasons contribute to our world view as we read. All of them give us the ability to live through others, to experience that which might never happen to us, or give us the opportunity to see that we are never quite as alone in our trials and sufferings as we think we are.

As a child, books were one of my greatest companions. I came from a broken home. I had an alcoholic, abusive father. My mother, bless her, worked all the time to support us and was often from home. By the time I was the age of a YA14+ reader I knew all about terminal illnesses, death, sexual abuse and poverty. I'd seen through other school mates first hand what drugs, violence and alienation could do to a person. I knew what it was like to be poor, a little strange, and unpopular. Through all of this, though, I read. And I read. And I read. I was in seventh grade the first time I read To Kill a Mockingbird (Lee). As a 13 year old girl it didn't horrify me, or hurt me or scare me. It spoke to me, in a way I could hardly express. A year after I read Oliver Twist (Dickens) and the violence, poverty and sadness in that book hurt me no more than any other book I read.

What I discovered as I read was that I was not alone in the great human experience. I was not the only one who had felt the things I was feeling. I found comfort. I found acceptance. I found peace reading those books. That, to me, makes every word I read during that time worthwhile.

It is my sincere hope that people will not take this article to heart. What I do hope happens is that parents, teachers and other adults become more aware of the widespread and positive experience that literature can provide. That they realize that their young adults can  relate to these works and that they should be not only encouraging them to read, but encouraging them to discuss what they're reading and how it makes them feel. Maybe, just maybe, if we take the time to do that we will emerge with a well-read, emotionally healthy, well-adjusted generation who can reflect well on their place in the world, and how they are connected to it at large.

We can hope, right?

I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts.

Keep Reading.
AGxx

A note and disclaimer: I obviously do not own any of the books I mentioned. I did not write them. That is why I put the authors' names in for you. Additionally, I would encourage you to read any or all of these books if you can. Most of them are great works of literature, and I am proud to have read them. Also, in case you had not caught the tenor of my arguments, I actually quite like most of the books I mentioned.

Also, the title comes from a lyric from The Daily Mail song, which was John Greene's only response to the article. Having followed the link, I can only suggest you do so as well. Its worth a good laugh, anyway.