headaches and happiness

First, I have to apologize, if this post has some serious typos in it, its because I'm on some heavy duty medication. More about that later.

The weekend totally kicked my butt. I'm not going to lie. i worked a lot. In fact, I got closer to 40 hours than I have in probably two years. If you've ever worked in food service, you know that a full time work week for a waitress is about 25 hours. So I'm super tired. on top of my normal serving work, I trained for my supervising position three nights this last week. It totally wore me out. Sunday night, as an added bonus, we went under a tornado warning just as I was finishing up. No sleep, plus lots of work, plus staying up late because there might be a tornado tearing down your hosue= a very cranky Alecya.

I also had a really bad migrain all weekend. Now, if you've never had one, it seems like it should be no big deal. Wah, a headache. But migraines are a completely different animal. I've had them since I was a little girl. I used to take preventative medication, but as I've gotten older I've done a better job managing them. I have it down now to maybe one every month and a half, which is pretty good, all things considered. Since I'm allergic to almost every over the counter pain killer, there aren't usually a lot of options for treatment for me. Its normally a tough it out until its over kind of thing.

For me, a migraine isn't just my head hurting. I mean, it does. It feel like I'm being kicked in the head nearly constantly...but for me it also involves not being able to hold down food. I get dehydrated. I get really hungry. It messes with my hypoglycemia, because my sugars are messed up since I can't eat. I become sensetive to light and sound. Smell is almost overwhelming. I loose motor function. Walking is hard, moving suddenly will make me sick. I can't see anything. When I have a headache, the smartest thing for me to do is lay down in a dark room, have someone hold my hand so I don't feel too scared, and wait for it to pass. Unfortunately, someitmes, you have to work. So I pulled myself together and worked through the pain.

I've done it before. It isn't usually a big deal. But then, my headaches normally only last about 12 hours. Thsi one went on for three solid days. When I woke up this moring and I was still violently ill, I broke down and called my grandmother. She has the medecine they normally give me when I'm at the hospital when I've had one that's too bad. (yeah, I've been to the ER for them. Once, they had to hang 4 bags of fluid on me to get me back to a hydrated level) So I've spent a good deal of the day in a medicated haze. Thank god for my girls, who held me and loved me through it. I don't knwo what I would have done without them.

I finally got to feeling well enough to prepare for tonight. Today is Litha, the midsummer ritual, for wiccans. Its one of our big holidays. I've been excited about it for weeks, because tonight I was supposed to be the one doing the ceremony. I did, and I was really proud of myself. When I'm feeling a little better perhaps Iw ill tell you more about the ceremony itself. Suffice to say, doing the ritual tonight was exhausting, it requires a lot of energy. But more important, I did it. This is a huge moment for me in my religious life. Its an honor to do a ceremony for your coven. I was pleased and proud mine trusted me to do it even if I was feeling poorly.

I'm feeling a very special feeling of accomplishment this evening. It was so special to me.

I want to talk more, but I'm pretty sure its time for me to wipe out.

Have a blessed midsummer, my friends. I'm thinking of all of you, and wishing you happiness and luck.

AGxx